Beauty and the Boots

purple boots

I’m thinking more about the confessions in the Patti Smith article in Harper’s Bazaar.

She invests in coats and boots which has been my game plan in recent years.

The idea that your fashion gives you freedom resonated with me. Boots aren’t traditionally sexy when they’re the type Smith wears.

This is what cheers me as a cisgender woman. That you don’t have to wear stilettos to make a statement about who you are and what you stand for.

The boots above I bought in December in a shoe-buying frenzy. I decided that boots were going to be my thing since I really don’t care to totter in stilettos and pumps.

I”m not keen to wear classic pumps. Not after having worn them for 9 years to legal and corporate office jobs in the 1990s.

A lot of guys on internet dating websites express an interest in meeting a “sexy” woman. The definition of sexy is erotic. I don’t want to walk down the street with everything hanging out for men to see.

It gives me hope that if Patti Smith had a husband and was an iconic rock star that I can meet a guy without having to wear a skintight cleavage-baring dress with a slit up to there.

I’ve decided to wear booties and boots on dates. Mid-heel black booties and the purple ones shown above.

The Bazaar article is right: fashion gives you freedom.

On the cusp of 55 today I think about how we can use fashion as a means of expressing who we are and what we stand for.

There’s a beauty in expressing your Individuality. That’s the ticket to living in health harmony and happiness.

I want to talk more in coming blog entries about searching for Mr. Right. A person that in my case should be Mr. Left in terms of politics.

How to Cheer Up in a Time of Crisis

New York City has shut down through the end of April and possibly this will continue through early May.

While indoors wherever you are I recommend going on the Dressing Well website to read the stylists’ blog regarding: 5 Ways to Get Out of Your PJs.

In early spring in New York City the weather is still colder and not always warmer yet. The heat still comes on in the apartments.

After reading the stylists’ blog I was motivated to wear lipstick in my apartment even though no one else can see me.

One other thing I do to cheer up is to wear one of my colorful sweaters every day:

I have a rose-pink sweater. A neon yellow Uniqlo. A blue-and-black striped Banana Republic sweater. A sky-blue cashmere sweater. And a cocoa brown cashmere.

How to cheer yourself up can be as simple as wearing a new “outfit” every day.

I rotate three pairs of dark jeans with the colorful sweaters.

Through this third week I’m going to start wearing jewelry at home too.

Wearing PJs all day is the quickest route to ill health and a low mood.

Face it: how do you feel when you’re dressed for bedtime and it’s noon?

You might get empowered after reading this blog entry to dress in street clothes while you’re indoors.

My new habit of dressing up to please myself while sheltering in place has done wonders for my mental and physical health.

This is the ultimate proof that fashion isn’t frivolous.

I think fashion can be feel-good medicine for women as we live through this pandemic.

Spring Cleaning in the Time of COVID-19

Staying indoors in your apartment or house is the perfect time to spring clean.

It’s a great day to get rid of the clutter as well as the thoughts in your head that keep you stuck in one place.

Are readers like I am thinking about your priorities in terms of what you want to keep and what you want to toss in your life?

I’ve decided to engage in spring cleaning as a method of rejuvenation and reinvention in this early spring.

What I’ve learned in terms of setting priorities is that you don’t need a lot of stuff weighing you down.

Yes–I can remember having had 22 tubes of lipstick when I was 40. Count them–22 tubes 🙂

Today halfway through my fifties I have only 4 tubes of lipstick.

Living on less money while not at your job is the perfect time to get clear in your head that you won’t spend, spend, spend, as a hobby anymore.

Living through this crisis is the natural segue to making these kinds of changes once you’re on the outside.

I’m getting older. Your priorities can change when you go through menopause. I find that while living indoors I have cooled out with caring about things that don’t matter.

Having 22 tubes of lipstick is the not the kind of life goal to aspire to 🙂

In the coming blog entry I’m going to talk about ways I’ve used to cheer myself up while living through this exceptional time.

These ideas might empower readers too.

Living through This Crisis

I don’t intend to make light of the seriousness of this exceptional time in history that we’re living through.

To get through this it pays to be practical. Yet certain things I’m doing touch on the idea of using beauty and fashion to pull through a hard time.

Engaging in rituals of self-care is even more imperative today. It’s the method I will be using to protect my mental and physical health while I ride out the COVID-19 outbreak.

Luckily, I am free of the illness and expect to remain in good health.

What I’m doing to stay healthy:

I’ve ordered 3 black and 10 red bandannas from Amazon. It will take 2 weeks for the items to be delivered and possibly longer. Amazon has delayed order times because of the COVID-19 outbreak and increase in online shopping.

I will use the bandannas to cover my nose and mouth diagonally when I must go outside to a food market or an ATM at the bank.

You’re supposed to remain six feet away from other people when you’re outside. As I think everyone is aware of this.

The unintended effect is that the bandannas are a fashionable alternative to regular masks. I was told it’s the surgical masks that are the ones you should use for maximum effect.

So, I’ll stick with the bandannas.

An image consultant sent me the link to a lemon sugar body polish that I can order online. I had told her my skin is pasty like it’s winter even though the spring is here. Staying indoors will do this.

I discovered I had a tube of St. Ives apricot scrub for the face. I’ve started to use this even though it might have been in the drawer for two years.

Along with doing positive healthy things to feel better I talk to my mother on the telephone.

Too if you ask me it’s critical to keep up healthy habits: get out of your pajamas, take showers, and dress in clothes.

I’ve been wearing dark jeans and colorful sweaters while indoors. I was able to buy for only $27 a blue-and-black striped sweater from Banana Republic that arrived two weeks ago.

Now I don’t advocate for going into debt buying things online while we’re cooped up inside. What I recommend is the judicious use of adhering to a spending plan when you’re tempted to splurge on goodies.

To occupy my time I’m reading a book that a friend published–Madolina’s Daughter.

The goal as I see it is to protect our mental and physical health living through this time of crisis.

The things I’ve detailed here have worked for me.

My Cure for the Change of Life Blues

I turn 55 in the spring.

Letting yourself go at 40 and older is a form of depression.

The loss of loved ones can lead to sadness, a lack of energy, and a loss of hope.

All of which I’ve experienced in the last four years.

Life can be so hard–there can be pain–that little rituals of self-care can lighten the burden on your hips.

Self-care has become a buzzword that’s a cliche. Yet it’s a truism because it’s an effective way to nourish your soul.

I won’t go under the scalpel, so I chose another option: buying a new shade of foundation: MAC Pro Long Wear NC 27 – Y (yellow).

The authors of the Makeup Wakeup wrote that older women benefit from going up a shade or two in our “base” or foundation.

From my experience at the MAC counter this appears to be true.

Taking a risk–to buy a new foundation; to get to know a new person; to do anything new and different–is the remedy for the change of life blues.

When 55 beckons it’s time to flout the rules, to celebrate your imperfections, to embark on the open road of your life.

Buying foundation could seem to be a frivolous endeavor.

Only:

“The world is so serious that having fun is not frivolous,” said an image consultant I’ve talked with.

This is exactly the reason why, if you’re an activist, you should dance in your hotel room to music coming out of a high-end speaker.

My goal in life is to spread pure joy wherever I go to make people feel good.

I’ll end here with this:

At 55 there’s no shame in doing things that make you feel good.

Putting my best face forward has made all the difference.

February 2020 Allure

billy porter

I took home a free copy of the February 2020 Allure magazine as seen above. It’s the Art of Beauty issue.

Michelle Lee the editor-in-chief wrote in her art appreciation editor’s letter:

“Having the freedom to express yourself is art we can all appreciate.”

On the cover is Billy Porter who starred in and won a Tony for his role as Lola in the Broadway production of Kinky Boots.

His audacity to be his authentic self has empowered me.

In the interview with Porter in the magazine he is quoted:

“The very thing that everybody’s telling you is wrong is exactly what you have to be.”

On the last page Porter is asked to Please finish this sentence: I feel most attractive when I’m…

“Living in the fullness of my authenticity.”

From watching an Oprah Winfrey episode he learned “the importance of shifting your mind-set toward service to others.”

Porter has done an inimitable service to readers simply by acting true to himself.

He was the first openly gay man to win an Emmy as a leading actor in a drama for his role on Pose.

Elsewhere in the February 2020 issue in a Modern Wellness feature a writer chronicles her own odyssey with making art:

“The truth is, medication can often help artists better access their creativity and express their emotions more readily.”

A fashion designer was quoted in this article:

“My creative output has never been higher than when I’m on medication.”

I identify as an Author Artist and Athlete.

The premise of my memoir Left of the Dial was “enjoy your quirkiness.”

Reading the articles in the February 2020 issue of Allure gave me a shot in the arm of confidence to continue blogging and speaking out.

My goal is to be part of the solution. My mantra is this:

I stand up for individuality in all its guises in everyone living on earth.

I’ll end here with a curious feature on page 36. Activist and art curator Kimberly Drew was asked to tout the products she loves the most.

When she gets a moment alone in her hotel room she usually ends up dancing. To do this only her Bang & Olufsen Beoplay A1 speaker will do for listening to music.

Imagine that: an activist touting a high-end speaker that most likely costs $100 or more.

The idea that you can be an activist on your own terms cheers me.

Crank up the tunes I say. Contribute something positive to the dialog.

In honor of Martin Luther King Day coming up this Monday I’m going to post a blog entry about how each of us can make a difference in our own way.

I believe in the transformative beauty of creating art to make the world a better place.

Beyond Beautiful

beyond beautiful

The author of The Curated Closet Anuschka Rees has returned with the book referenced in the photo.

Beyond Beautiful is subtitled: A practical guide to being happy, confident, and you in a looks-obsessed world.

You can check it out of the library like I did or buy it. The book comes in an e-book version as well.

Rees doesn’t like the new body positive movement that focuses on liking how your body looks.

She is against the fitspiration and thinspiration and other impossible ideals held up to women like “Look better naked or look better on the beach.”

Ree advocates for focusing on and championing women’s achievements apart from how our bodies look.

The prime purpose I had in starting to lift weights when I was 46 was to have a fitter body and to cope better with stress.

My goal wasn’t to lose weight. As far as my body goes I can take it or leave it.

Only I won’t wear shorts. I won’t wear any kind of bikini or swim suit. This is because quite simply I don’t like to go to the beach.

Strange yet true I’m not keen to get a tan in the summer. I have pale white skin and black hair and dark brown eyes.

The photographer who shot my first photo for the original website asked me: “Are you really Sicilian?”

Alas, I am. Yet still I think it’s ridiculous to want to get a tan in the summer. You won’t see me going to a Caribbean island on vacation and basking on the beach.

If it’s any consolation, even I can’t find a guy using any of the online dating websites.

In coming blog entries I will talk about what it’s like looking for love at 50 and beyond.

The book Beyond Beautiful is a must-read.

It’s high time for women to rebel the beauty myth that says you have to be thin, pretty, and young to be happy or have others like you.

Readers I tell you to stand up and shout to others:

“I’m hot. Are you blind? Can’t you eff-in see this?”

A Tale of Two Haircuts

Before:

2018 sephora

After:

1 red lips

Straight-haired women want curly hair. Curly-haired women want straight hair.

I had wanted to post these two photos so readers could weigh in: what haircut do you like better?

The fact is I was born with curly hair. My natural hair is curly.

For years and years I dried my hair straight.

Two years ago my hair started to frizz up and curl in unruly directions in humid or rainy weather.

Bandannas to the rescue on these bad hair days. Only I wasn’t pleased with this mode of cover-up.

Enter spring 2019. Basta I decided to grow my hair longer. It was an experiment.

Today I scrunch up my hair while I’m drying it. Last I turn my head upside down and blast the hair out.

Stand up and fluff my hair up.

The first photo was taken after a Sephora makeover two years ago. The second photo shows how I look after I’ve done my own makeup.

I’ve come to love my curly locks. I can relate to any woman who has tried to conform to a beauty ideal in the name of fixing a perceived flaw in her body.

Ladies: admit it: the hard effort it takes to dry your hair straight is too much. It’s even harder when you’re living in menopause and don’t have a ton of energy.

You’re not Hey, Nineteen anymore. Your energy might be gone for good.

In the coming blog entry I’ll review the new book Beyond Beautiful by Anuschka Rees. This author of The Curated Closet helps women focus on our strengths and accomplishments apart from how our bodies look.

Spreading Joy, Love, Peace, and Understanding

By reading about other women I’m inspired to spread joy, love, peace, and understanding.

Dua is Albanian for love.

The Dua Lipa interview in the May issue of Elle magazine has inspired me to no end.

She’s the Albanian singer-songwriter who won a Grammy award for Best New Artist.

In the interview she talked about having eggs as snacks. She cooked and fed her interviewer eggs.

In my Flourish blog devoted to other topics I wrote about my change to scrambling eggs and veggies for breakfast.

Hearing Dua Lipa talk about having eggs as a snack reinforces my belief that a music star–or any famous person–can be an inspiration.

In the interview she talked about getting lost in a scroll hole of negative comments about who you are.

Not a fan of social media I understand the temptation to live for “likes” and worry that what you write will alienate your followers.

Dua seems down-to-earth which impresses me.

The interview talked about how women have been standing up and asserting our needs for a long time. Starting with Janet Jackson in the 1990s.

This gives me confidence to stand up for myself and what I believe in.

Ladies: start your engines.

Life at 54

Turning 50 is what it is. Turning 54 is another thing entirely. You’re on the shady side of your early fifties.

In coming blog entries I want to talk about this era in a woman’s life.

How your priorities can change. How your identity can change.

I want to document my efforts to go Green.

I want to chronicle what it’s like to wake up one day and realize your life is getting shorter. Realizing that you have only a limited amount of time to achieve your goals and resolutions.

The future isn’t guaranteed–either for ourselves or the planet.

Like Michael Jackson sang in “Man in the Mirror” I’m striving to help better the world.

So first I have to look in the mirror and change my life.

This starts with having a sustainable lifestyle first of all. Once this is in place you can start thinking about global issues.

Menopause is the right time to make positive changes.

Changing for the better is possible at any time in your life.

I say: love turning 50. It heralds a decade where the possibilities are beautiful.

Not everything might be a bed of roses at this time.

That’s when you put on rose-color lipstick. And go out to get what you want.

Women are conditioned that we have to take care of everyone else.

Now is the time to get our needs met.

I’ll talk in a coming blog entry about an interview with Dua Lipa in Elle magazine.

Along with Arianna Grande she’s one of my new role models.