February 2020 Allure

billy porter

I took home a free copy of the February 2020 Allure magazine as seen above. It’s the Art of Beauty issue.

Michelle Lee the editor-in-chief wrote in her art appreciation editor’s letter:

“Having the freedom to express yourself is art we can all appreciate.”

On the cover is Billy Porter who starred in and won a Tony for his role as Lola in the Broadway production of Kinky Boots.

His audacity to be his authentic self has empowered me.

In the interview with Porter in the magazine he is quoted:

“The very thing that everybody’s telling you is wrong is exactly what you have to be.”

On the last page Porter is asked to Please finish this sentence: I feel most attractive when I’m…

“Living in the fullness of my authenticity.”

From watching an Oprah Winfrey episode he learned “the importance of shifting your mind-set toward service to others.”

Porter has done an inimitable service to readers simply by acting true to himself.

He was the first openly gay man to win an Emmy as a leading actor in a drama for his role on Pose.

Elsewhere in the February 2020 issue in a Modern Wellness feature a writer chronicles her own odyssey with making art:

“The truth is, medication can often help artists better access their creativity and express their emotions more readily.”

A fashion designer was quoted in this article:

“My creative output has never been higher than when I’m on medication.”

I identify as an Author Artist and Athlete.

The premise of my memoir Left of the Dial was “enjoy your quirkiness.”

Reading the articles in the February 2020 issue of Allure gave me a shot in the arm of confidence to continue blogging and speaking out.

My goal is to be part of the solution. My mantra is this:

I stand up for individuality in all its guises in everyone living on earth.

I’ll end here with a curious feature on page 36. Activist and art curator Kimberly Drew was asked to tout the products she loves the most.

When she gets a moment alone in her hotel room she usually ends up dancing. To do this only her Bang & Olufsen Beoplay A1 speaker will do for listening to music.

Imagine that: an activist touting a high-end speaker that most likely costs $100 or more.

The idea that you can be an activist on your own terms cheers me.

Crank up the tunes I say. Contribute something positive to the dialog.

In honor of Martin Luther King Day coming up this Monday I’m going to post a blog entry about how each of us can make a difference in our own way.

I believe in the transformative beauty of creating art to make the world a better place.

Beyond Beautiful

beyond beautiful

The author of The Curated Closet Anuschka Rees has returned with the book referenced in the photo.

Beyond Beautiful is subtitled: A practical guide to being happy, confident, and you in a looks-obsessed world.

You can check it out of the library like I did or buy it. The book comes in an e-book version as well.

Rees doesn’t like the new body positive movement that focuses on liking how your body looks.

She is against the fitspiration and thinspiration and other impossible ideals held up to women like “Look better naked or look better on the beach.”

Ree advocates for focusing on and championing women’s achievements apart from how our bodies look.

The prime purpose I had in starting to lift weights when I was 46 was to have a fitter body and to cope better with stress.

My goal wasn’t to lose weight. As far as my body goes I can take it or leave it.

Only I won’t wear shorts. I won’t wear any kind of bikini or swim suit. This is because quite simply I don’t like to go to the beach.

Strange yet true I’m not keen to get a tan in the summer. I have pale white skin and black hair and dark brown eyes.

The photographer who shot my first photo for the original website asked me: “Are you really Sicilian?”

Alas, I am. Yet still I think it’s ridiculous to want to get a tan in the summer. You won’t see me going to a Caribbean island on vacation and basking on the beach.

If it’s any consolation, even I can’t find a guy using any of the online dating websites.

In coming blog entries I will talk about what it’s like looking for love at 50 and beyond.

The book Beyond Beautiful is a must-read.

It’s high time for women to rebel the beauty myth that says you have to be thin, pretty, and young to be happy or have others like you.

Readers I tell you to stand up and shout to others:

“I’m hot. Are you blind? Can’t you eff-in see this?”

A Tale of Two Haircuts

Before:

2018 sephora

After:

1 red lips

Straight-haired women want curly hair. Curly-haired women want straight hair.

I had wanted to post these two photos so readers could weigh in: what haircut do you like better?

The fact is I was born with curly hair. My natural hair is curly.

For years and years I dried my hair straight.

Two years ago my hair started to frizz up and curl in unruly directions in humid or rainy weather.

Bandannas to the rescue on these bad hair days. Only I wasn’t pleased with this mode of cover-up.

Enter spring 2019. Basta I decided to grow my hair longer. It was an experiment.

Today I scrunch up my hair while I’m drying it. Last I turn my head upside down and blast the hair out.

Stand up and fluff my hair up.

The first photo was taken after a Sephora makeover two years ago. The second photo shows how I look after I’ve done my own makeup.

I’ve come to love my curly locks. I can relate to any woman who has tried to conform to a beauty ideal in the name of fixing a perceived flaw in her body.

Ladies: admit it: the hard effort it takes to dry your hair straight is too much. It’s even harder when you’re living in menopause and don’t have a ton of energy.

You’re not Hey, Nineteen anymore. Your energy might be gone for good.

In the coming blog entry I’ll review the new book Beyond Beautiful by Anuschka Rees. This author of The Curated Closet helps women focus on our strengths and accomplishments apart from how our bodies look.

Spreading Joy, Love, Peace, and Understanding

By reading about other women I’m inspired to spread joy, love, peace, and understanding.

Dua is Albanian for love.

The Dua Lipa interview in the May issue of Elle magazine has inspired me to no end.

She’s the Albanian singer-songwriter who won a Grammy award for Best New Artist.

In the interview she talked about having eggs as snacks. She cooked and fed her interviewer eggs.

In my Flourish blog devoted to other topics I wrote about my change to scrambling eggs and veggies for breakfast.

Hearing Dua Lipa talk about having eggs as a snack reinforces my belief that a music star–or any famous person–can be an inspiration.

In the interview she talked about getting lost in a scroll hole of negative comments about who you are.

Not a fan of social media I understand the temptation to live for “likes” and worry that what you write will alienate your followers.

Dua seems down-to-earth which impresses me.

The interview talked about how women have been standing up and asserting our needs for a long time. Starting with Janet Jackson in the 1990s.

This gives me confidence to stand up for myself and what I believe in.

Ladies: start your engines.

Life at 54

Turning 50 is what it is. Turning 54 is another thing entirely. You’re on the shady side of your early fifties.

In coming blog entries I want to talk about this era in a woman’s life.

How your priorities can change. How your identity can change.

I want to document my efforts to go Green.

I want to chronicle what it’s like to wake up one day and realize your life is getting shorter. Realizing that you have only a limited amount of time to achieve your goals and resolutions.

The future isn’t guaranteed–either for ourselves or the planet.

Like Michael Jackson sang in “Man in the Mirror” I’m striving to help better the world.

So first I have to look in the mirror and change my life.

This starts with having a sustainable lifestyle first of all. Once this is in place you can start thinking about global issues.

Menopause is the right time to make positive changes.

Changing for the better is possible at any time in your life.

I say: love turning 50. It heralds a decade where the possibilities are beautiful.

Not everything might be a bed of roses at this time.

That’s when you put on rose-color lipstick. And go out to get what you want.

Women are conditioned that we have to take care of everyone else.

Now is the time to get our needs met.

I’ll talk in a coming blog entry about an interview with Dua Lipa in Elle magazine.

Along with Arianna Grande she’s one of my new role models.

Viewing the World at 50

My newfound alarm at the hazardous conditions garment workers labor under has been part of a series of revelations I’ve come to post-50 years old.

Every week I log on to the Accidental Icon blog.

In one comment Lyn Slater wrote:

“Creativity can move one forward into doing what one really wants to do in life.”

Being resourceful. Veering off the beaten path. Deciding for your self how you want to live.

These things seem to have taken precedence in my life as I near another birthday.

When I turned 35 that was the start of realizing that living only for self-gain and making tons of money wasn’t such a great idea.

Fast-forward to 53: I don’t think anyone will get very far in life acting selfish and greedy and materialistic.

The point is that feeling good about ourselves and doing good is why we’re here on earth.

How old are you? If you’re not in your fifties yet what I’m writing will be a preview of the years to come.

At 53:

I’m done with the hate in the world.

I’m done with caring what people who sit in judgment of you think.

I’m done with fearing acting true to yourself because you worry people won’t approve of the Real You.

In your twenties and possibly going into your thirties you have different ideas about what’s important.

It’s later in life as the years roll along that I think:

Wasn’t it kind of entitled to be upset that your mother gave you a fluorescent green shirt as a Christmas present? (As recorded in my memoir.)

See what happens. You’ll turn 50 someday too. You hopefully won’t be the same person you were when you were 20. Or even when you were 40.

The famous boxer Muhammad Ali has a great quote I’ll end here with:

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”

Women: this applies to us too.

Creating a Look Book

look book

I’ve figured out that creating a Look Book can help you figure out what pocketbook to choose and use with a particular outfit.

The photo album above holds 200 photos. I’ve also begun shooting photos of clothing items. You can use Pinterest on your cell phone or a device like an iPad instead if you’d like to create a Look Book.

I’m on the cusp of 54. A lot of woman at mid-life decide we want to do something new or at least change an aspect of our lives that we don’t like.

In this regard as I’m starting to reach the middle of my fifties I find that doing the things that give you joy can transform your confidence and give you self-esteem.

The point of creating a Look Book is that it can be fun to choose and use items in your wardrobe to make whatever statement you want to make on a particular day.

I would go so far as to say that style is the language of your soul transmitted sartorially.

Dressing well can spark joy in mid-life or at any time in your life.

Now that I’m leaving 50 in the dust and heading upward I can tell readers that you need all the help you can get when others in society–men and fashion editors alike–insinuate that a woman has an expiration date.

The goal is not to look like you’re 20 when you’re 50 or 60 or older.

The goal is to use your wardrobe to transmit to others that you like yourself and think you’re hot by your own standards.

Not by any other person’s view of what you look like.

I will end here by stating that creating a Look Book is therapist-approved. No kidding.

My Signature Wardrobe Piece

bandanna purple photo

The Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater talked about having a signature item in your wardrobe.

The photo above attests to what has become my signature item: a colorful bandanna.

The summer I turned 51 my hair start to frizz up and curl in different directions in rainy or humid weather.

I’d dry my hair straight. Going out the door in the rain or humid air I’d arrive at my destination with unruly hair. You can predict the weather by looking at my hair.

That summer I bough 5 different bandannas in a dollar store. (I”m not proud that they have a Made in China label.)

Since I can’t wear a hat on my job I was pleased to be able to get away with wearing a bandanna to staff the reference desk.

Isaac Mizrahi in his book How to Have Style recommended wearing bandannas to brighten your mood.

A woman featured in the Andrea Linett book The Cool Factor sported a bandanna as her trademark.

These two fashion guides inspired me to start wearing bandannas as a bad-hair day cover-up. My cover has been blown.

In New York City the Human Rights Commission has made it illegal for employers to discriminate against workers because of their hairstyles.

I think I was able to get away with wearing bandannas at my job precisely because so many people wear different kinds of headscarves as a matter of course.

In fact: sometimes a hairstyle born out of a bad hair day can become a celebration of your individuality.

Taking away someone’s right to self-expression should be forbidden.

There are so many beautiful people walking around with hair that is a point of pride.

If the hair is not on your head you shouldn’t be concerned with what it looks like.

My unruly hair brings me no happiness.

The bandannas I wear bring other people joy. Walking down the street people stop me and comment on my choice of headscarf.

At midlife wearing a bandanna has become my signature.

In a coming blog entry I”m going to talk more about why uniformity and conformity should be illegal.

Dawn of 54

I will be 54 in the spring.

I’ve discovered the Accidental Icon blog I’ll link to at the bottom of this blog entry.

The goal is to admire not envy others.

In mid life it’s time to accept the things you cannot change.

And to change the things you’re able to.

I’m only 5 feet tall. I couldn’t possibly wear obdurate dangling earrings that steal the show. I would look ridiculous in a rust coat too.

Yet I find that observing that look I can take from it my own distinct variation: maybe my lightweight gray coat and the designer sunglasses picked up at a discount store.

It’s time to get wise to the Instagram-worthy selfies that others post on social media.

Research says that younger people are winding up depressed. Most likely it’s because they’re viewing the perfect-seeming feeds of peers.

“I admire people who seem to have a charmed life,” I told a woman I consider a friend.

“Seem to. That’s it. There’s no charmed life,” my friend shot back.

On the cusp of 54 it’s time to start liking yourself and your imperfections if you haven’t already made peace with these things.

I’ll only ever be 5 feet tall. I won’t have perfect hair ever.

Now I think trying to emulate another person who is supposed to be inspirational as a role model is a myth.

Trying to follow fashion trends is a myth too.

In your fifties you have to trust that you have enough and you are enough.

Regardless of what other people insinuate about your worth.

It’s called self-worth because it comes from within.

The Accidental Icon blog is my new added attraction.

I’m keen to riff on things this other blogger talked about.

Stayed tuned for my own city girl take on getting older.

Cheap and Cheerful

lipstick rise up rose

For $9 a tube of lipstick is cheap and cheerful in this holiday season.

I was in a drugstore and decided to browse the Revlon display in search of one of the few lipsticks I’ve liked from this brand.

Instead of getting the Rose Velvet I snatched up this tube in a shade called Rise Up Rose. It is a matte lipstick in the new line of Revlon Matte offerings.

To my surprise the color is fabulous. I took a risk buying it because nearly all the time I chanced to take home an impulse buy from the drugstore the lipstick looked awful on me.

Hint: if you share my coloring Warm Me Up by Maybelline just won’t do. Nor will any beige, brown, orange, or coral shades.

The secret to success in the makeup aisle is to know your undertone and search for shades that match it.

I’ve been tested out as a Winter – and what the Visual Therapy founders call a Star:

I have ivory skin with a cool undertone and dark brown eyes and black hair.

Thus cool colors look better on me than warm colors.

You can take the Color Type quiz in the Life in Color book to find out whether you have a warm or cool color type.

Forget sending and receiving greeting cards with generic Peace on Earth and Joy to the World messages.

The real joy is to be had in doing good for others and for yourself.

Do yourself a favor: buy a new tube of lipstick to brighten your spirits.

Send out Christmas cards if that would make you happy.

At this time of year when loved ones who are gone are missing from the table:

I approve of doing anything healthy that sparks joy.