Sparking a Life of Joy

I’ve become obsessed with Marie Kondo’s ethic of doing what sparks joy.

In my view everyone can life a life of joy, meaning, purpose, and passion.

Even if our circumstances are less than ideal I say: do what sparks joy for you.

I’m saying ‘no’ to busywork and ‘no’ to doing backbreaking work at my job.

The idea that ANY of us should endure burnout on the job just because we have to pay rent and bills is bullshit.

The six root causes of burnout are factors linked to how management treats employees.

I say: do whatever you can to do things that spark joy on the job and off the job.

In a coming blog entry I will talk about how I decided what kind of life I actually want.

The Most Magical Time of Year

It’s said that the holidays are the Most Magical Time of the Year.

My horoscope had foretold that there would be peace among everyone gathering at the table this season.

For Christmas I was given a gift card. I figured out how to use it on the internet to buy rainbow moonstone stud earrings.

As 2023 nears I’m grateful to end this year with renewed gratefulness for my good fortune.

I urge readers to live with gratitude. Even for the inevitable trials we all face I say: be grateful for the hard times as well as the beauties.

2023 I envision as the Year of Reflection. The time to examine where we want to go and what we want to do.

My New Year’s Resolution is to buy a skateboard. To practice rolling on the asphalt roadway in the park. At 13 years old I had a red skateboard. Rolling down the hilly streets where I lived gave me joy.

Not doing an ollie or other explosive move I simply loved rolling along.

Remembering this short-lived hobby I got the idea to buy a skateboard. Why can’t a 57-year old woman skate? is what I thought.

A Generation X girl living in her Third Chapter I’m on a kick of self-reinvention. My motto is risk, fail, rise up, repeat.

What gave us joy when we were younger should not be ruled out as a hobby in the 25 years after 50.

Too often we become adults and abandon the happy-makers because we think we should do what everyone else tells us we’re supposed to do to be successful and be accepted.

No–I was miserable living in the mainstream in the years I thought I should try to have a normal life.

Decades later realizing that the only way I would be happy was to live my life Left of the Dial.

In this last week of 2022 I urge readers to join me in renouncing the tried-and-often-(not)-true approaches to living our lives.

For my birthday I’m going to buy a skateboard. Watch YouTube videos on beginner skateboarding techniques.

Watch out as this Skate Girl rolls in the park in the spring.

I hope my blogging gives you the courage to try something new (or return to something that gave you joy).

This really is the Most Magical Time of the Year when we’re getting ready for 2023 and the possibilities that beckon.

Risk, fail, rise up, repeat. If you ask me that’s the only way to live going forward.

Pretty Good Advice

In her book Pretty Good Advice: For People Who Dream Big and Work Harder Leslie Blodgett wrote: “When you see beauty you become beautiful.”

The author is the founder of Bare Minerals the makeup line. I recommend you buy her book which is why I quote from it.

As the year ends I’ll quote another beauty–South Korean model Sora Choi who was quoted:

“To me, beauty is when a person is living and embodying their truth, no matter what that is.”

On the cusp of 58 I’ve learned that no one else gets to speak for me. Only I can speak my truth, or else others will impose on the world their view of who they think I am.

2023 I envision as the year when everyone is free to live and embody our truth freely and fearlessly.

We should be acting to lift each other up. Not cutting each other down. I stopped reading editorials because the hateful rhetoric only serves to divide people instead of bringing us together.

Believing is seeing. Believing that others are beautiful you will see the beauty in everyone.

It starts will looking in the mirror and feeling that you are beautiful.

I’m no saint. I won’t be exercising this week. I view this lapse like taking a holiday vacation week.

If I could give my own Pretty Good Advice I would end here with:

The two foolproof ways to achieve any goal–even a New Year’s resolution coming up–are to understand that change will happen incrementally. And that compromise is called for when you can’t do what you want to do in one day or in one week.

Lastly:

It’s time to unshackle ourselves from self-limiting beliefs. Internalizing shame about who we are will rob us of the energy to set goals and go after them with gusto.

2023 is going to be even better than 2022 was. I firmly believe that whatever happens in our lives we can live through it and emerge stronger and better.

Hiding our light is no way to live. Beating ourselves up because we feel like we’re a failure is no way to live.

I urge followers to see the beauty in yourself and everyone else.

Together we can move mountains of hate. We can create the world we would like to see.

More coming up on what I’m doing to shift the needle toward love and forgiveness.

No Hello Kitty

The Italian written on the Davines holiday box stated the hair products were for capelli indisciplinati. The Italian word for frizzy hair sounded like undisciplined–which described my incorrigible hair.

So, I was willing to save up the $75 to buy the shampoo conditioner and leave-in treatment that might just help my hair blossom into gorgeous after all these years.

Who exactly did I want to look beautiful for?: Every guy I sent a message to on OKCupid ghosted me after my second response. I got the idea that circa 2022 things hadn’t changed: It was okay for a woman to open her mouth to kiss not speak.

My photogenic face compelled men to click “like” on my profile. A few guys went further and sent messages. What’s with the “likes” guys? If you like a woman, send her a message–don’t be coy. We’re not communicating via the Pony Express–this is 2022.

I got the idea that they were shocked when a pretty face had something intelligent to say. Not what they were expecting Cupid to shoot them with?

Getting ghosted. Every. Single. Time. I got the hint and canceled my account.

Not relishing spending an hour or two every day reading match profiles to see who I wanted to send messages to. Acting as a caregiver to your mother you have no energy or time left over to conduct love combat in the hopes of getting one man in your scope.

Pat Benatar got it right: “Love is a Battlefield.” It doesn’t have to be this way.

Living my life Left of the Dial I’ll use the hair products for my own joy and love.

What was I going to do instead of hunting for a boyfriend? I’ve begun sending emails to my Republican congressperson asking her to do the right thing on humanitarian causes.

One January night 12 years ago I attended a candlelight MLK Vigil for Peace. Five of us–I had thought hundreds would show up–stood in a triangle park holding lit votive candles.

My candle fell on the cement path and broke. After giving the host of the vigil my email account ever since then I’ve been sent in my inbox pleas to act on social justice issues.

Ever since Mr. Toupee–my nickname for Donald Trump–became president the emails have escalated. LL Cool Joe–President Biden–has been no saint either.

Sending messages to Nicole CacaCola–my moniker for Malliotakis the Republican who won the election–is my way of participating in our Democracy.

A girl in the world who’s an Activist I can’t get any play on OKCupid. The men want to Meet Cute. Then when they find out I’m No Hello Kitty they bolt.

This holiday season since I have no love interest–I’m going to wash the men right out of my hair–and wash and condition my hair with the Davines products.

What’s cooking in my Protest Kitchen? Peace Love and Happiness.

This is what the world needs. We don’t need endless wars, bipartisan bickering, and the ongoing hate.

Have something to say. This is what I would tell readers: use your lovely lips to speak out.

Our time is here. We have the opportunity to change society for the better.

Whether or not our hair is frizzy. And whether or not other people like that we have loud mouths.

The Black Feminist Project

Tanya Fields the founder of the Black Feminist Project in the Bronx, NY was interviewed in Women’s Health magazine.

What she said: “It’s a little ridiculous for people to see activism as a job as opposed to a responsibility to create a better world.”

Tanya Fields launched Black Joy Farm. On a sliding-scale fee families can have fresh fruits and vegetables delivered in their South Bronx neighborhood.

What if activism was no longer needed because there was no injustice anymore? Then the task for humanitarians would be uplifting others in different ways. Like doing motivational speaking to inspire teens to graduate high school.

There’s likely always going to be a cause to advocate for. The Tanya Fields activists of the world deserve credit for making their corner of the world a better place.

You can log on to The Black Feminist Project to donate money and buy their tee shirt and read about the nonprofit.

Something to think about as holiday time nears.

23&Me

At first I thought DNA testing amounted to a parlor trick. Then I changed my mind. Sprung for a 23&Me DNA kit.

My intent in doing this was to connect with others. Be a citizen of the world.

My DNA composition:

95.2% Italian – Sicily + 9 other regions.

Western Asian and North African 4.5%

Northern West Asian 4.3%

Iranian Caucasian Mesopotamian 2.6%

Cypriot 1.4%

Broadly Northern West Asian 0.3%

Broadly Western Asian & Northern African 0.2%

Trace Ancestry: 0.2%

Unassigned: 0.1%

The weird facts section of the report was amusing:

45% chance of slightly wavy hair.

Yes I was born with wavy hair.

Think this percentage should’ve been higher given how unruly my curly “summer hair” is.

Coming into October my “winter hair” will be in effect–straight all day when I blow dry it.

Fear of public speaking:

Less likely to have a fear of public speaking.

Hello–I perform on stage at poetry readings. I do motivational speaking in front of audiences in rooms.

I recommend springing for this DNA testing. It’s a fun amusement more than anything.

The 23&Me DNA kit costs $99. Or $89 if like me a friend who used it gives you a discount code.

Love Welcomes Mat

The photo is of the welcome mat woven by a woman in the Love Welcomes collective of refugees in Greece.

The mat features upcycled fabric with strips of the life vest they wore to escape their home country.

It cost $65.50 total which is a fair price. I’m gearing up to make a donation to Thistle Farms the nonprofit that sells the welcome mats and other products on their website.

Today I’m tuned in more to what’s going on in America and around the world. Every day in my inbox I get social justice emails.

Just being aware of the injustice is the start. Then we must act together to defy the status quo and do what we can to change things.

I was born in 1965—the first year of Generation X. The older I’ve gotten I’m more committed to seeking justice.

I’m 57 and a child of the 1980s. Like the famous Mr. T in that long-ago TV show “I Pity the Fool” who would mess with me after they found out my story.

The quote is that we can’t just seek to change the story. We must change the storyteller.

Giving column space to unique voices and the original perspectives of often-silenced individuals is called for.

My time on OKCupid having crashed and ended I’ve decided to turn my sights on my Advocate work instead.

One thing I’ve done is to publish a second book a career guide for peers. It was my attempt to seek economic justice for people with mental health issues traditionally shut out of employment.

The goal as I see it is to get to the point in society where Activists can go out of business because there’s no more suffering in the world.

As I’ve always said in here one person reaching out to help another person is the way to go.

I have my eye on a pair of earrings on the Thistle Farms website.

Coming up a review of a biting and brilliant book on the fashion industry and the size inclusion revolution.

Thistle Farms

I check out of the library business books shelved in the 658s. At the end of Story Dash the author recommended readers check out Thistle Farms.

Located in Nashville, TN in America the non-profit was founded to give women survivors of human trafficking and addiction housing and employment.

There’s a free 2-year residence for recovery in Nashville. Thistle Farms also sells goods that women around the world handcraft.

The home decor and apparel and jewelry items are sold on the Thistle Farms website. I’ll link to Thistle Farms at the end of this blog entry.

There you can buy a beaded bracelet as cheap as $10. I have my eye on a welcome mat that refugees craft in Greece using strips from their life jackets.

A great find is a black leather tote bag for $99. It’s the kind of pocketbook that stands out. Why order a handbag from Nordstrom online when it will be a mass-produced item that everyone will be carrying everywhere.

The goods sold on the Thistle Farms website give fair trade employment to women living in countries throughout the world.

There are so many great finds on the website that I might break my vow not to spend money. I’m tempted to throw caution to the wind and buy something to support Thistle Farms.

Check out Thistle Farms today.

Brittany Ramos DeBarros

Yes–I promise I will talk soon about the way to do good and make a difference that I discovered last week.

For now I have the urge to preempt my regularly scheduled programming. With a startling thing that happened.

I tune in to the Post-Modern Music Box channel on audacy.com. I’m stuck in this time warp listening to the alternative music of my youth (1980s/1990s).

You can imagine the shock I was in when an 11th District candidate for Congress advertised herself between songs as an “anti-war combat veteran.”

This was uncanny marketing on the part of Afro-Latina Brittany Ramos DeBarros who lives on Staten Island and served in Afghanistan.

How did a political candidate know that an anti-war person like me would be listening to the Music Box channel? That’s a brilliant plotting for votes.

I’ve always thought these American invasions were unjustified. Upwards of $1.4 trillion is being given to the Pentagon.

This money would be better served to give every U.S. citizen 18 and older a $1,000 monthly Universal Basic Income– a remedy to help end poverty here.

Every night as I listen to 1990s alternative music Brittany Ramos DeBarros invades my ears. I’ve gone on her website and her platform is legit.

Nicole CacaCola–the nickname I’ve given to Nicole Malliotakis the current 11th District person–responded to an anti-war email I sent her after she was sworn in. She told me it’s OK for the U.S. to engage in war in Syria and Yemen. That it’s perfectly fine to sell arms to Saudi Arabia.

OK then–what is the U.S. government using this money for after we get it?

CacaCola voted NO to giving American workers national paid sick leave.

A book at the library attacked the U.S. for starting these allegedly “humanitarian” wars that only serve to ravage the citizens and natural resources in other countries.

I can’t say LL Cool Joe–my nickname for Joe Biden–has been any better. He’s allowed the U.S. collusion in these wars to continue.

In one week I’m going to vote for Brittany Ramos DeBarros. I’ll be stunned if she wins. Hardly anyone I vote for wins an election.

Coming up:

The method I discovered for doing good that helps women in America and around the world recover from human trafficking and addiction.

The OKCupid Scammer

There’s a scammer on OKCupid. He strings you along with vague messages. Then insists you continue on WhatsApp because he’s not online on OKCupid often.

There is most likely legal wording that prevents me from publicly disclosing the details of the scammer’s name and what he wrote in his profile.

You can watch the Tinder Swindler on Netflix to see how one cunning man left multiple women on the hook for hundreds of thousands in debt. Conning them into giving him money.

The women the Tinder Swindler seduced started to get paranoid. One checked herself into a psychiatric hospital if I remember right.

It’s possible that there are female scammers too. The Tinder Swindler was not charged with any crimes. He too used WhatsApp to correspond with women.

Say it isn’t so. I wish it wasn’t.