On Being 56 Not 35

Today I feel at 56 how I felt at 35–I’m aware my body is changing.

Thirty-five was the first time I was aware of this subtle shift in the physical.

The 40-and-over women’s makeover books focus on the outside. As if the only kind of makeover should involve makeup.

In the 1990s magazine Jane if I remember there was a makeunder photo shoot.

My way to go will be eyeliner foundation and lipstick. Eyeshadow added for an event.

In other areas of our lives post-40 a makeunder could be just the rocket booster for our confidence.

For the second time this year I’m filling donation bags to cart to the Salvation Army.

The older I’ve gotten the need to discard and minimize hit me like sand in the face.

Fifty and beyond is the time for editing and weeding out what no longer works.

One day I woke up and realized the MAC Studio Fix powder foundation suddenly made my face look cakey. After five years where it was stunning.

What about those friends that you realize out of the blue have reduced you to tears?

A makeunder? Count me in. Who needs 22 tubes of lipstick?

Who needs mental emotional and material clutter taking up space in our lives?

Motivational Millionaire Book

I’ve checked a lot of personal finance books out of the library.

Too often the books require you to follow the author’s investing strategy to the Letter. Or the book is too dense and difficult to read through.

Even though I have a Masters degree in library science I’ll stop reading any book that doesn’t hook me.

My all-time favorite finance book is Simple Money by Tim Maurer. It’s short and detailed and not a read you’ll have to plod through.

The Rachel Rodgers book above is impressive too. Her life experiences that she talks about are what pulled me into reading her guide.

Coming from a family that had to count every cent Rodgers saved up $33 in quarters and rolled them up.

As a teen she was going outlet shopping with well-off friends. After they had left one store she went to the register on her own. Plunked down her $33 in quarter rolls to buy a wallet.

Rodgers today is a financial empowerment Activist. How telling that her first solo hard-earned purchase was a wallet.

Anyone who becomes well off should help others who are less fortunate.

Engaging in acts of conscious charity that empower others to have a better life should not be seen as “giving handouts.”

I was given a handout until I no longer needed to rely on outside income.

For others having a job isn’t possible. My motto in life is: “No Judgments.”

It’s so inspiring to read Rachel Rodgers finance-and-memoir book rolled into one.

I understand the benefit of having characters in books and authors that represent a person like you.

When browsing the personal finance section I’m keen to see if women authors are on these shelves.

Right away I grabbed onto the book Rachel Rodgers wrote.

We should all be millionaires is a great finance guide. I’m going to install it on my iPad.

Favorite New Book

By a happy accident I was able to get a copy of this book.

The subtitle is a misnomer. This is because there is one rule to this guide:

Only women who can afford the $100 and up shirts featured in this book have this kind of street style.

For everyone else this is a useful guide with Q&As and checklists that can help us recreate the looks in lower-cost versions.

What does ring true about this beloved borough of New York City is this quote:

“People who thrive here wear their freedom of expression.”

So–go out and treat yourself to this irreverent guide to fashion.

“Mix This With That” and “Build a Working Wardrobe” were the two sections that were my favorite.

Brooklyn celebrates everyone’s multicultural roots. People come here from all over.

Isn’t that what everyone wants–to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Brooklyn is the broken land where soul pilgrims land to find ourselves. Free to be the same selves we have always been.

Under the Lemon Trees

Who buys a perfume without spritzing it on her wrist first?

I took the chance on Under the Lemon Trees.

One day I decided I had to buy something from Sephora.

Could scent be refreshing and perk me up?

I was willing to test this theory. To the rescue: a Replica travel vial of perfume.

To my surprise the vial is bigger than I expected.

The scent transported me to a lemon grove in Sicily.

Readers: I have fallen down on self-care.

No one told me that when I reached menopause my energy would tank and I’d get fatigued.

So I hired a health coach to create an eating plan to help me regain my energy.

Along with this I decided to test my theory that a fresh scent could spark joy.

So far it’s working.

It’s possible that engaging all 5 senses is the secret to living indoors through the pandemic.

In a Different Light

This selfie I took without foundation. Only wearing black eyeliner and Rose Flair lipstick.

As the pandemic enters the second year this is my indoor outfit:

Black-and-white striped tee shirt, black sweater jacket, and black Athleta City pants. With silver globe earrings.

The point is it’s going on the second year of the coronavirus pandemic.

I’m grateful to be alive and breathe air on a sunny day.

This is the difference–time moves on. You either move with it or you wither.

How is it that this selfie is okay? It lies in how we see ourselves. I see myself in a different light after surviving the last year.

Without altering your photo into a strange unrecognizable You I say it comes down to the super-effect of rosy lighting.

Our Zoom selves should be adored not send us running for cosmetic surgery.

At 55 I accept that I don’t have Karlie Kloss’s creamy skin. Nor will I go under the scalpel. Only 5 feet tall I won’t grace a runway either.

The day has come when I can stare at my face in the mirror and be okay with it.

For a lot of us anger is the natural reaction when we realize we wasted so much time viewing our perceived flaws under a microscope.

Today is the day to change this tune. Our time on earth is getting shorter.

The coronavirus pandemic has taught us that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

What I’ve learned:

To love myself better than anyone else could ever love me.

This should be the goal for all of us:

To see ourselves in a beautiful light.

Doing Things Differently

The vaccines were not approved to prevent COVID-19.

The FDA gave Emergency Use Authorization for the use of the vaccines.

This is because the need was so great that the agency allowed the vaccines to be greenlighted after the clinical trials were shortened.

With faith in America I went ahead and received dose one of the Pfizer vaccine. There was a 15-minute waiting period after.

The injection took two seconds and I didn’t feel a thing.

The side effect of the vaccine was that I felt unwell—I was “The Lady with the Spinning Head.” A strange feeling in my body all the next day.

No–I might not have gotten the vaccine if the need wasn’t great. This is because though the side effect was minor it felt severe while it lasted.

Getting inoculated will bring us one step closer to normalcy. To street fairs and outdoor festivals and travel on vacation.

Should it turn out that there’s a new health risk in those of us who received the vaccine I will be okay with this. The coronavirus is no joke.

As a gregarious person I was willing to get vaccinated after having limited social contact in the last year.

Going on the second year of the pandemic the reduced circumstance has changed my outlook.

I take inspiration from Alicia Keys the cover model of the April Allure.

April is the month of Sprouting Grass Moon according to the rhythm of nature.

Honoring the natural world and living in sync with the seasons is one way I’m doing things differently.

In coming blog entries here and at my Flourish blog I’ll talk about how surviving the pandemic has inspired me to make changes.

Date or Dud–You Decide

Re: my Dreaming and Wanting blog entry:

My dream was dashed that I tried to make happen in February.

Would a woman invite a man on a date? I invited to lunch a guy I was interested in that I met over the summer.

He thought my offer to meet was fra amici or between friends.

While eating my French toast he told me he had a girlfriend.

This is how it is in modern life:

You must be bold and say: “I would like to take you on a date. How about we go to lunch?”

Otherwise.

I went on an accidental date 20 years ago.

A guy asked me to go to the Brooklyn Museum. Thinking it was to be a friendly affair I said yes. Little did I know he was angling for a girlfriend.

The way it is a modern guy or gal will think you’re just being friendly.

You must specify: “I would like to take you on a date.”

This makes it easier for a person to turn you down. Rather than having them waste your time going on a “date” that will lead nowhere.

You’ll want to pucker up the next time.

While they’re searching for an exit door when they realize your true intent.

This is how it rolls.

Do I have a Plan B?

Yes. And a Plan C.

For better or worse [and I think worse] I have gotten the reputation as “the woman who is looking for a boyfriend.”

This after over 12 years of writing a newspaper column about living and loving in the Big Apple.

Trust me. You do not want to meet a person for the first time and the first words out of their mouth are:

“So–you’re the woman looking for a boyfriend.”

This is not what you want to be famous for.

National Clean Out Your Closet Week

The third week in March is National Clean Out Your Closet Week.

Every year I write about this theme in the blog. The Salvation Army truck driver took off my hands 3 bursting donation bags full of belts, clothes, and pocketbooks.

It is strange to be in the position of having size 2 Petite summer pants become so loose that they no longer fit.

When other size 2 Petite pants are so tight not even a snake could fit into them.

Oh–the perils of the sizing system in the U.S.

That’s why a lot of American women run out of a department store dressing room in tears.

It’s not unusual to have pants and jeans of four different sizes in your wadrobe.

2, 4, 6, 8–no one appreciates the guessing game as to which item will fit when you order online and the box arrives at your door.

On the other hand it is not odd to suddenly fall out of love with the clothes you used to wear.

Goodbye, khakis. Hello, black jeans.

To stay young at heart you should refresh your wardrobe every so often.

The older I get the more obsessed with clothes and dressing up that I’ve gotten.

As a Generation X girl I don’t want to fade into the woodwork.

Millennials can have their avocado toast as they’re so famously accused of coveting.

I’ll take a good coat and boots in this NYC chill that doesn’t warm up until early June.

Fashion is where you find it–and you can find joy in the clothes hanging in your closet.

Donate the items that no longer suit you. Get rid of the pants that no longer fit. Say farewell to the colors that make you look ill.

The spring is here in one week. Having hope is called for.

Editing the contents of our closets can spark joy.

Who wants to spend the morning agonizing because your closet is bursting with items you don’t wear?

Keep the items you love.

Call the Salvation Army truck to take away good-condition clothes that could bring joy to a person in need.

This is a win-win.