The Path to Freedom

Like Alicia Keys I’ve been on an odyssey to cancel out the outside noise. To draw strength from within as well as drawing a line with eyeliner.

If you ask me the path to freedom starts when you get loud and proud about who you are and what you stand for.

As tempting as it might be to try to conform so that others will like you:

I think repressing your soul will only lead to illness.

I take inspiration from Alicia Keys and her passion to make a difference not just sing a song.

Unlike Keys freedom for me has come in wearing makeup after years of not wearing makeup.

Applying eyeshadow and eyeliner has been an instant thought-lift as well as face-lift

If this sounds frivolous think again: even a public library is hosting a workshop on beauty for its patrons.

I tip my True Religion striped cap to Alicia Keys for telling her story and revealing herself on the page.

Everyone is beautiful with or without makeup.

Expressing ourselves without fear is exactly the positive prescription needed.

Think for yourself. Dress for yourself. Dare to be yourself.

This is what I plan to do in the coming year.

Truth is Beauty

Wasn’t there a line in a poem that truth is beauty and beauty is truth?

I’m coming to the end of reading the Alicia Keys memoir More Myself.

Pages 210-211 are worth the cost of buying the book. Here Keys talks about going without makeup:

“I don’t want to cover up anymore…not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.”

Tens of thousands of women posted photos to the hashtag #NoMakeup.

One person sniped to Keys that if she looked like Keys the woman could choose not to wear makeup too.

To this Keys said: “My deepest intention is that we all find a path to whatever freedom feels like for us–and that is unique to each person .”

If you ask me it is in living an authentic life that a person is truly free. Keys believes we crave the authentic in our narratives not just in our appearance.

The path to freedom is different for everyone.

My odyssey started ironically when I started to wear makeup after years of not wearing makeup.

I would like to talk in coming blog entries about individuality again.

About having the freedom to express yourself with or without lipstick.

Colors of Compassion

I find myself obsessed with makeup as a distraction from what’s going on in America–and from what’s going on in my own life.

I don’t think it’s right that people claim the word trauma has been misused to refer to things that aren’t traumatic.

Only the person that’s the victim gets to decide the level of intensity of what they’ve experienced.

Ibram X. Kendi in a Twitter post stated that how Mr. Toupee interacted with LL Cool Joe at the debate could be traumatizing to viewers who have been victims of abuse or violence or other hardship.

I have gotten flak for talking about beauty and fashion in Left of the Dial. Critics railed against how I turned to a clothes rack to cope when I had an illness in my twenties.

Yet today as then I find myself running to open my closet doors to choose outfits when I’m outraged.

I spend an hour on the Sephora website viewing eye shadow palettes. Nothing catches my eye.

The point is that a person should believe in themselves when no one else does. And when self-esteem is hard to come by–either by looking in the mirror or because you don’t see yourself reflected in institutions of power–it’s time to give yourself love.

I say: do what’s healthy that makes you feel good. Stay away from energy vampires that suck the life out of you.

In the current climate you can’t read a social media feed or lift a fork at a table without people getting into a war of contempt with each other.

In fact this can be traumatizing. There’s a crisis of compassion going on.

This is why I believe in beauty: my mother takes off her mask and I see she’s been wearing lipstick under her face covering.

No one can see it yet she knows it’s there. It must cheer her up.

My Th(ink) eyeliner givers me the power to draw a line.

Think–I would tell anyone–think before you speak.

Celebrate Instead of Tolerate

On the radio last week a therapist talked about celebrating others in the culture instead of only tolerating or accepting them.

I didn’t ever like the word tolerance precisely because I thought merely tolerating someone’s difference didn’t go far enough.

I have been turned off interacting with a man who turned out to be homophobic.

In my future OKCupid profile I’m going to list open-mindedness as one of the 6 Things I Can’t Live Without.

As I referred to recently in a blog entry here I have been writing about the beauty of individuality for years now.

Friday, June 19 is Juneteenth–the day of Freedom for African Americans in our history.

For awhile now I haven’t liked to celebrate the Fourth of July.

No only do I detest sitting around a patio table at a barbecue.

It has always rubbed me the wrong way that we were celebrating a holiday that didn’t guarantee every American their freedom.

And I don’t eat hot dogs or burgers–yet that’s another story.

We need to celebrate each other every day.

We should take joy and pride in everyone’s true nature.

We should hold in high esteem the culture they come from.

I have a couple of fashion binders and a beauty binder.

In the beauty binder I insert pages with tips on makeup taken from magazines.

In the beauty binder I insert photos of women of all colors.

I like to look through the photos for inspiration.

Everyone being ourselves makes the world wonderful.

I think every person living on earth is beautiful.

That a lot of people don’t view others this way is sad.

In coming blog entries I’m going to talk about what I think in more detail.

I’ll talk soon about a remarkable discovery I made two weeks ago. And about one of my earliest experiences in life as a teenager.

By telling my stories I hope to give others permission to tell their stories.

The Circle of Life

What I’ve been thinking about:

In the time of the pandemic where a lot of people struggle with food insecurity I have a well-stocked refrigerator bursting with food.

When you have plenty what else could you need or want?

My goal when I’m able to get a FreshDirect time slot for food delivery is to use the link on that website to donate money to the Common Pantry in New York City.

I’ve become grateful today for the only thing that counts to me in this time: the grocery deliveries coming every week.

It’s not the Caudalie face scrub I bought that I really care about.

My thoughts go out to people who are unable to get food.

The New York City government has been delivering food boxes to anyone who needs food in the time of the pandemic.

Like Lyn Slater the Accidental Icon I’ve come to question the things I took for granted on an ordinary pandemic-free day.

As I’ve always thought those of us who are fortunate should be doing everything we can to help others who aren’t fortunate.

Now more than ever being grateful for your fortune in life should be the rule not the exception in how people think.

This is the circle of life: giving back what you have been given.

I will always talk about clothes and makeup in here. To cheer up readers. To make readers feel good. To spread joy.

Perhaps a spoon full of this sugar can make the medicine go down like Mary Poppins sang in the 1970s movie.

The fact is in America people are going hungry.

Actress Viola Davis revealed that she battled childhood hunger.

She has championed the Hunger Is campaign for No Kid Hungry.

In my view even donating canned goods like soup and vegetables to your local food pantry is a valid form of charity when you can’t do anything else.

My goal when I retire from my library job is to volunteer my time and money to social causes more so than I do today.

Hunger. It’s a real issue. No one should go hungry.

In America The Fruited Plain food should be plentiful. The fact that it’s not is a shame.

Conscious Chic in a Crisis

Yes–I’ve been thinking about what I termed Conscious Chic in a blog category.

The Accidental Icon Lyn Slater talks about this in her latest blog post [see below].

Who needs 10 pairs of the exact same pants?

Who needs a bursting closet and overstuffed dresser drawers?

The manufacturing process of garments has long been a destroyer of our natural world.

It’s time to act in a considered fashion like Lyn Slater believes.

Though I’ve bought an eye shadow compact I intend for this to be the only beauty buy for the foreseeable future.

As well I have the intention to dress in the clothes hanging out in my wardrobe today.

I’m not a Green saint as far as this goes. Like Lyn Slater I’ve been thinking about this.

She talked of being creative.

Acting creative can do a world of good in transforming a simple wardrobe of clothes and collection of makeup into a stunning reflection of individuality.

You don’t have to be rich or thin to express yourself through beauty and fashion.

You can trust that you’ll look good without needing a trust fund.

Read the Lyn Slater Accidental Icon blog entry here.

Beauty and the Boots

purple boots

I’m thinking more about the confessions in the Patti Smith article in Harper’s Bazaar.

She invests in coats and boots which has been my game plan in recent years.

The idea that your fashion gives you freedom resonated with me. Boots aren’t traditionally sexy when they’re the type Smith wears.

This is what cheers me as a cisgender woman. That you don’t have to wear stilettos to make a statement about who you are and what you stand for.

The boots above I bought in December in a shoe-buying frenzy. I decided that boots were going to be my thing since I really don’t care to totter in stilettos and pumps.

I”m not keen to wear classic pumps. Not after having worn them for 9 years to legal and corporate office jobs in the 1990s.

A lot of guys on internet dating websites express an interest in meeting a “sexy” woman. The definition of sexy is erotic. I don’t want to walk down the street with everything hanging out for men to see.

It gives me hope that if Patti Smith had a husband and was an iconic rock star that I can meet a guy without having to wear a skintight cleavage-baring dress with a slit up to there.

I’ve decided to wear booties and boots on dates. Mid-heel black booties and the purple ones shown above.

The Bazaar article is right: fashion gives you freedom.

On the cusp of 55 today I think about how we can use fashion as a means of expressing who we are and what we stand for.

There’s a beauty in expressing your Individuality. That’s the ticket to living in health harmony and happiness.

I want to talk more in coming blog entries about searching for Mr. Right. A person that in my case should be Mr. Left in terms of politics.

Colors of Compassion

mardi gras outfit

The photo above was taken at a poetry event.

I had thought the theme was Mardi Gras so dressed in carnival colors. The night’s theme turned out to be homelessness.

Green is for faith. Gold or yellow signifies power. Purple denotes justice.

The symbolism of the colors is beside the point. The picture points to another story.

This is the photo of a woman living in menopause.

I’ve learned a lesson viewing this picture: it’s time to halt obsessing over things that don’t matter in the scheme of things.

Like a lot of woman, I critically assessed my features. I wasn’t happy with my skin showing through my foundation. I envied women with creamy smooth skin that looks flawless without makeup.

In the photo I’m wearing MAC Pro Long Wear foundation, Sephora brown eyeliner and NARS Shrinagar lipstick–a sheer raspberry.

And I look perfectly fine in the photo. Which proves my point that all of us are going to live too long on earth to continue obsessing that parts of ourselves need fixing.

I’m rolling halfway to 60. I used to be 50. As a feminist who is attracted to men I can attest to the idea that maybe I’ve gotten folded up over this.

I might have despaired because I’ve yet to find Mr. Right. And I haven’t found Mr. Almost Right either. Nor have I found Mr. Not Right Yet I’ll Take Him Anyway.

Acting kinder to ourselves is the way to go as we get older.

To take the stance: “And what is it to you if I don’t measure up to society’s–or a man’s–impossible standard for how a woman should look, act, dress, and live?”

All hail those of us who DV8 from norms. Praise be the sisters among us who dare to rock our natural faces. Who don’t care what others think about us.

I say: it’s time for a global uprising of women asserting our power to act true to ourselves.

In a world where the focus has been on women’s bodies and how we look, let’s not buy into this myth that we are nothing without Botox.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we should be beholding our own beauty.

I think everyone living on earth is beautiful. If you do too, I urge you to consider that you are beautiful just the way you are.

God doesn’t make junk.

The Makeup of a Confident Woman

green photo

The photo shown above proves the premise of beauty pioneer Trish McEvoy’s new book The Makeup of a Confident Woman.

Not wanting to start taking an antidepressant, I was willing to try any healthy non-chemical option for sparking joy.

I’ll quote from this guide because I think you should go out and buy it:

“There is no vanity in taking advantage of makeup in order to get more of what you want in this world…Makeup is a tool–just like exercise classes are for staying in shape..It facilitates the release of endorphins and can be your champion to the next level.”

You don’t say? Trish McEvoy does.

I put her theory to the test by applying a full face of makeup. The author gets it right: wearing makeup instills confidence.

It’s trite yet true: you feel better when you look better.

Ladies: even though I have a photogenic face I don’t look so hot not wearing makeup.

I’ll be 54 in the spring. I could use a little help.

There are genetic wonders among us who have creamy flawless skin without wearing foundation. More power to them for being able to rock a bare face.

It took me just about 10 minutes to apply this makeup. That’s not a lot of time to give yourself.

The products used:

Foundation: Lancome Teint Idole 260 Bisque N

Blush: Bobbi Brown desert rose

Lipstick: Bobbi Brown hibiscus

Eye shadow: From Naked2 Basics – the 2 lightest shadows on the left of the palette (darker on eyelid lighter on brow bone area)

Eyeliner: Lancome Chocolat

Mascara: Diorshow black

The photo of the book cover is below.

In coming blog entries here I want to talk about other things you can do at mid-life to feel better and have fun.

All of this can be adjunct treatment in addition to taking any medication you might have to take.

confindent woman book.JPG

Using Mental Health to Sell Products

too face

The tag line under Different is: It means I’m not like anyone else.

Below right it lists the woman as: Filmmaker, Mental Health Advocate.

On bottom left it reads: Elyse is fearless like that. See why at Olay.com/FaceAnything.

I’m conflicted about using mental health to sell products.

On the one hand using real people models to sell products is an improvement. The standard airbrushed bearers of beauty like Karlie Kloss could use some competition.

On the other hand is it really progress that we’re viewed as consumers to sell products to?

The one specific trend I hope this advertisement heralds is a new openness to talking about mental health issues. Even if the bottom line is selling a product I think this is okay.

We need people like Elyse Fox the model featured in this advertisement who are making a difference in speaking out about mental health.

A lot of women will be motivated to plunk down their dough on Olay’s whipped cream after seeing this advertisement.

I’m OK with doing what makes you feel good about yourself. If buying a cream is going to make a person feel good, that’s OK for them.

What I don’t like mostly is this:

Beauty companies take women with naturally photogenic faces and use them to make the claim that buying the product will make you look as good as the models do.

Will this really happen? Maybe. Maybe not.

Readers: sometimes I don’t like how my natural face looks.

At 53, I could use a little help with foundation and makeup. As said, I don’t leave the house without wearing lipstick.

Yet I’ve stubbornly refused to plunk down my hard-earned money on miracle wrinkle creams.

I’m one of those genetic anomalies who looks 10 years younger than she is.

The most I can manage is some kind of Body Shop Vitamin C Glow moisturizer. I apply this after washing my face with Neutrogena Hydroboost cleanser.

I haven’t gotten on the K-Beauty bandwagon or resorted to a 5-Step routine with multiple products.

The real deal is: having an openness to talking about mental health should be encouraged.

I salute people like Elyse Fox who are turning their lens on this topic.

Dare to make a difference–I tell you–dare to make a difference.

Nothing will change in society if everyone’s too scared to rebel what passes as normal.

Accepting ill treatment from others isn’t the way to live. Treating others in an ill way isn’t normal.

Yet too many people don’t have the balls or breasts to speak out against this.

The time has come to tell our stories.

In the coming blog entry I’ll start to talk again about mental health.