This week I read in one day the Drew Afualo memoir and manifesto Loud: Accept Nothing Less than the Life You Deserve. The Samoan American young woman has 9 million followers. She created a career for herself as a content creator whose platform is centered on kicking the asses of misogynist men. Afualo has received death threats for speaking out against the patriarchy.
Since she has 9 million followers perhaps some of you follow Drew. I’m all too familiar with being the victim of anonymous venom in the comments section of online articles.
No—I don’t identify as Queer or Asexual. I don’t like those terms. It’s because in fact if you’re not heterosexual and not caught up in relationships with men who abuse you you’re not queer at all. You’re the normal one. In a society where it’s the misogynist men labeling females as freaks of nature for not having sex on the third date and not submitting to their abuse in the patriarchy.
The attorney I employ first used the word I took up to describe my M.O.: Unusual. I prefer calling how I operate Unusual not Queer as I do not want to be identified by my gender or sexual orientation.
In my email signature I won’t use personal pronouns. Instead I use specific nouns and list in my signature Christina Bruni (Chris/Christina). I have no idea what others reading my emails think of this. It’s a f*ck-you that might not be subtle in not using gender to refer to who I am.
I’m no fan in dwelling on gender and sexual orientation. Too often doing so reinforces the focus on parts of our identity that a person like me doesn’t want to be the first or prime thing others notice about us.
Only how we look gets us judged. My intent in using my given names in my email signature was because I want others to view me through the lens of my personality not through my plumbing down below.
Yet how you and I look is the first thing others notice about us. An impression is formed of us within 7 seconds. No kidding.
In coming blog entries I’ll do my part along with Drew Afualo to dismantle the expectations women have of ourselves to please men.
Left of the Dial 