Author: Christina Bruni

Christina Bruni is the author of the new book Working Assets: A Career Guide for Peers. She contributed a chapter "Recovery is Within Reach" to Benessere Psicologico: Contemporary Thought on Italian American Mental Health.

9/11 Pandemic Insight

This tee shirt I bought at a street fair in the West Village 12 years ago.

It was my chosen outfit with black jeans to wear to the dentist on 9/11. Using clothing to protest or make a statement is my preferred way of getting a message across.

Though I was afraid to have a cavity or need a terrible scraping of my teeth I was in luck. The cleaning was quicker than usual.

Before opening my mouth wide I told the dentist that I have no energy at all. That in the evening I haven’t been brushing my teeth.

“Everyone has no energy. They’re under stress. The coronavirus is no joke. Some people have it together. Others lost it altogether,” he cut to the chase.

The pandemic has been a game changer in this regard. My dentist was right about everyone being stressed out.

There should be more openness and willingness to talk about mental health issues. No one’s immune from cracks and fissures in the mind these days.

If human beings cannot be honest with each other then we’re living a lie. Game over.

We cannot go back to the way things were before.

It was hard for a lot of us to not resort to snacking on potato chips and pretzels or drinking vodka and gin while holed up in our living rooms.

None of us should feel guilty and ashamed.

Not about our bodies our health our sexuality. Nothing.

Everyone’s doing the best we can with what we were given.

To coexist. That is the only way to live.

To have compassion for each other. Even better.

Weight a Minute

Yes–I get it that OKCupid is set up to attract romantic partners.

Everyone should have my kind of dilemma:

I’m resigned to the fact that I’m a tiny person. As in a woman who would be called “thin.” Only 5’0″ I fit into a size 2 Petite.

So–I removed the words “fit and active” to describe myself in my profile essay.

I don’t want to attract men who are fixated on my figure.

You can check off “prefer not to say” as an option when it asks you to click how much you weigh.

Only why be coy? I’ve decided as a rule to not lie and live in hiding.

So–I reluctantly checked off “thin.”

You should not be afraid to check off “full-figured.” Yet go right ahead and click “Prefer not to say” if you want.

IRL you won’t fool anyone about your weight. Why not own up to your beautiful body in whatever size or shape it is?

If this gorgeous earth we live on is round why can’t a female body be round?

I’m not naturally thin by the way. I got this way because I’m muscular. For over 10 years I’ve engaged in intense weight-lifting routines.

Plus I don’t eat meat. Only (mostly organic) chicken, seafood, vegetables and salads.

My father had Stage 3 colon cancer that spread to his liver. The cancer killed him.

It’s because of this that I exercise and eat well as consistently as possible.

Being “thin” is not something to covet or be proud of. Whether a woman is skinny or voluptuous no one should be commenting on her body either way.

Oh–I suppose I could’ve clicked “Prefer not to say.” Why not? Only no one should feel guilty or ashamed because of their body and how they look.

In fact you might be able to not answer this question at all and leave it blank.

The double bind is: why should there be a need on OKCupid for the website to ask this question in the first place?

Dressing Up for Dating

The photo above I used as a match photo on a dating website.

Red is a color that attracts men. So you’re supposed to wear red if you want to boost your luck.

Seems innocent enough right? Yet it poses a dilemma. I received 55 “likes” and I wasn’t interested in any of them.

They click “like” after seeing only my match photo. I read a guy’s profile before clicking that I “like” him.

This is the conundrum: attracting men I’m not interested in.

Like the guy wearing only swim trunks and no shirt whose breasts were as big as mine.

Sorry–though I lift weights I’m not attracted to bodybuilders with bulging bodies as big as boulders.

The tee shirt is my oldest item of clothing. It’s a Product(RED) offering that went on sale the first month Bono created this campaign.

Proceeds from Product(RED) items go to support men women and children living with AIDS in Africa.

Years ago I also bought a Product(RED) red-rubber spatula.

I wish a guy who was hip to this sales campaign would send me a message referring to the tee shirt. Only that would be an impossible stretch.

My computer crashed 2 years ago. The files documents and photos on it disappeared. There were no photos on my cell phone either that showed “lovely legs” like a ZZ Top song.

I even dared upload a recent photo where I’m wearing a purple bandanna, lavender marled sweater, black coated skinny jeans, and black boots.

Men who expect me to wear stilettos are not in my target market.

On my end I don’t go by how a person looks. I read their profile essay first.

Coming up: More Fun in the New (Dating) World? Not exactly.

Rebel Love Book

Beauty lies in having radical self-acceptance. In owning your terrific soul. In honoring and trying to heal the broken parts and loving all of the pieces of you.

I believe in the beauty of everyone’s true self-expression. Not to feel guilty or ashamed for being who you are.

The book shown above by Dr. Chris Donaghue, PhD is revolutionary. It’s sad that what he’s talking about isn’t accepted as the norm.

I’ll quote from the last sentence on the last page to get readers to go out and buy this guide:

“Being the truest, most authentic version of yourself is ultimately what will transform you and your relationships–and eventually, maybe even the world.”

Dr. Chris asserts that in countries where there is a sex-positive tone and permissive view of sexuality there are fewer rapes, sexual assaults, and teen pregnancies.

On Being 56 Not 35

Today I feel at 56 how I felt at 35–I’m aware my body is changing.

Thirty-five was the first time I was aware of this subtle shift in the physical.

The 40-and-over women’s makeover books focus on the outside. As if the only kind of makeover should involve makeup.

In the 1990s magazine Jane if I remember there was a makeunder photo shoot.

My way to go will be eyeliner foundation and lipstick. Eyeshadow added for an event.

In other areas of our lives post-40 a makeunder could be just the rocket booster for our confidence.

For the second time this year I’m filling donation bags to cart to the Salvation Army.

The older I’ve gotten the need to discard and minimize hit me like sand in the face.

Fifty and beyond is the time for editing and weeding out what no longer works.

One day I woke up and realized the MAC Studio Fix powder foundation suddenly made my face look cakey. After five years where it was stunning.

What about those friends that you realize out of the blue have reduced you to tears?

A makeunder? Count me in. Who needs 22 tubes of lipstick?

Who needs mental emotional and material clutter taking up space in our lives?

Motivational Millionaire Book

I’ve checked a lot of personal finance books out of the library.

Too often the books require you to follow the author’s investing strategy to the Letter. Or the book is too dense and difficult to read through.

Even though I have a Masters degree in library science I’ll stop reading any book that doesn’t hook me.

My all-time favorite finance book is Simple Money by Tim Maurer. It’s short and detailed and not a read you’ll have to plod through.

The Rachel Rodgers book above is impressive too. Her life experiences that she talks about are what pulled me into reading her guide.

Coming from a family that had to count every cent Rodgers saved up $33 in quarters and rolled them up.

As a teen she was going outlet shopping with well-off friends. After they had left one store she went to the register on her own. Plunked down her $33 in quarter rolls to buy a wallet.

Rodgers today is a financial empowerment Activist. How telling that her first solo hard-earned purchase was a wallet.

Anyone who becomes well off should help others who are less fortunate.

Engaging in acts of conscious charity that empower others to have a better life should not be seen as “giving handouts.”

I was given a handout until I no longer needed to rely on outside income.

For others having a job isn’t possible. My motto in life is: “No Judgments.”

It’s so inspiring to read Rachel Rodgers finance-and-memoir book rolled into one.

I understand the benefit of having characters in books and authors that represent a person like you.

When browsing the personal finance section I’m keen to see if women authors are on these shelves.

Right away I grabbed onto the book Rachel Rodgers wrote.

We should all be millionaires is a great finance guide. I’m going to install it on my iPad.

Favorite New Book

By a happy accident I was able to get a copy of this book.

The subtitle is a misnomer. This is because there is one rule to this guide:

Only women who can afford the $100 and up shirts featured in this book have this kind of street style.

For everyone else this is a useful guide with Q&As and checklists that can help us recreate the looks in lower-cost versions.

What does ring true about this beloved borough of New York City is this quote:

“People who thrive here wear their freedom of expression.”

So–go out and treat yourself to this irreverent guide to fashion.

“Mix This With That” and “Build a Working Wardrobe” were the two sections that were my favorite.

Brooklyn celebrates everyone’s multicultural roots. People come here from all over.

Isn’t that what everyone wants–to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Brooklyn is the broken land where soul pilgrims land to find ourselves. Free to be the same selves we have always been.

Under the Lemon Trees

Who buys a perfume without spritzing it on her wrist first?

I took the chance on Under the Lemon Trees.

One day I decided I had to buy something from Sephora.

Could scent be refreshing and perk me up?

I was willing to test this theory. To the rescue: a Replica travel vial of perfume.

To my surprise the vial is bigger than I expected.

The scent transported me to a lemon grove in Sicily.

Readers: I have fallen down on self-care.

No one told me that when I reached menopause my energy would tank and I’d get fatigued.

So I hired a health coach to create an eating plan to help me regain my energy.

Along with this I decided to test my theory that a fresh scent could spark joy.

So far it’s working.

It’s possible that engaging all 5 senses is the secret to living indoors through the pandemic.