Attention WalMart Shoppers

1 fast food

The book in the photo is an eye-opener.

I don’t like the right-wing nationalist fervor that Mr. Toupee galvanized to win the election.

I knew he would become our president. No one believed me.

Yet the damage had already been done in the NAFTA agreement prior to Mr. Toupee’s reign.

In my life I stopped eating rice for dinner over 10 years ago. I haven’t bought bananas in years.

To read We Are All Fast Food Workers Now is to understand the threat to humanity posed by industrial agribusinesses.

The governments in other countries do the bidding of American transnational companies.

Indigenous people’s farmland is taken over by private companies to be used as sugar, rubber, and palm oil plantations.

That’s one good reason to stop or limit our sugar intake.

And I have long known of the ethical dilemma inherent in buying food products made with palm oil.

Just that word: food products should ring alarm bells in buyer’s ears.

If food doesn’t come from God’s Green Earth in a natural pesticide-free way, I say: limit your intake of that “food.”

I’m not perfect in my buying habits either.

Yet living in menopause I’ve started to examine my life and my choices.

Post-50 years old we are everyone faced with this caterpillar-to-butterfly slogan:

Change or Die.

The cost of Xenophobia in America is too high.

The cost to humanity of cheap food and other cheap products is high too.

Reading We Are All Fast Food Workers Now I understand that change might come slowly.

On the cusp of 55 I find myself at a fork in the road: which path do I want to take?

One person doing one thing at one time can change the dynamic like a butterfly flapping it’s wings.

Yet sometimes it’s not that easy.

You also have to be true to yourself and how your life is. To accept that you have limits. To do whatever you can whenever you can.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s not that easy to make a decision.

More in a coming blog entry about a remodeling project I’ve taken on in menopause.

It started with food and exercise. Are you a woman? Perhaps you can relate to the theme of food and exercise.

Beyond Beautiful

beyond beautiful

The author of The Curated Closet Anuschka Rees has returned with the book referenced in the photo.

Beyond Beautiful is subtitled: A practical guide to being happy, confident, and you in a looks-obsessed world.

You can check it out of the library like I did or buy it. The book comes in an e-book version as well.

Rees doesn’t like the new body positive movement that focuses on liking how your body looks.

She is against the fitspiration and thinspiration and other impossible ideals held up to women like “Look better naked or look better on the beach.”

Ree advocates for focusing on and championing women’s achievements apart from how our bodies look.

The prime purpose I had in starting to lift weights when I was 46 was to have a fitter body and to cope better with stress.

My goal wasn’t to lose weight. As far as my body goes I can take it or leave it.

Only I won’t wear shorts. I won’t wear any kind of bikini or swim suit. This is because quite simply I don’t like to go to the beach.

Strange yet true I’m not keen to get a tan in the summer. I have pale white skin and black hair and dark brown eyes.

The photographer who shot my first photo for the original website asked me: “Are you really Sicilian?”

Alas, I am. Yet still I think it’s ridiculous to want to get a tan in the summer. You won’t see me going to a Caribbean island on vacation and basking on the beach.

If it’s any consolation, even I can’t find a guy using any of the online dating websites.

In coming blog entries I will talk about what it’s like looking for love at 50 and beyond.

The book Beyond Beautiful is a must-read.

It’s high time for women to rebel the beauty myth that says you have to be thin, pretty, and young to be happy or have others like you.

Readers I tell you to stand up and shout to others:

“I’m hot. Are you blind? Can’t you eff-in see this?”

A Tale of Two Haircuts

Before:

2018 sephora

After:

1 red lips

Straight-haired women want curly hair. Curly-haired women want straight hair.

I had wanted to post these two photos so readers could weigh in: what haircut do you like better?

The fact is I was born with curly hair. My natural hair is curly.

For years and years I dried my hair straight.

Two years ago my hair started to frizz up and curl in unruly directions in humid or rainy weather.

Bandannas to the rescue on these bad hair days. Only I wasn’t pleased with this mode of cover-up.

Enter spring 2019. Basta I decided to grow my hair longer. It was an experiment.

Today I scrunch up my hair while I’m drying it. Last I turn my head upside down and blast the hair out.

Stand up and fluff my hair up.

The first photo was taken after a Sephora makeover two years ago. The second photo shows how I look after I’ve done my own makeup.

I’ve come to love my curly locks. I can relate to any woman who has tried to conform to a beauty ideal in the name of fixing a perceived flaw in her body.

Ladies: admit it: the hard effort it takes to dry your hair straight is too much. It’s even harder when you’re living in menopause and don’t have a ton of energy.

You’re not Hey, Nineteen anymore. Your energy might be gone for good.

In the coming blog entry I’ll review the new book Beyond Beautiful by Anuschka Rees. This author of The Curated Closet helps women focus on our strengths and accomplishments apart from how our bodies look.

The Science of Creativity

creativity

Steve Jobs was quoted about people who “think different”:

“While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

This comes from “Learning from Leonardo” [da Vinci] in the Time special issue magazine The Science of Creativity.

I will be touching on this idea in coming blog entries.

My literary agent thought the premise of my memoir Left of the Dial was “Enjoy your quirkiness.”

That sums up how to approach living life when you think differently and see things differently.

The fact is those of us who are creative could be viewed as being “misfits.” There’s a mis-fit between how we operate and how most people go about living their lives.

Which is precisely why I titled the memoir Left of the Dial: you need to have self-acceptance and go along in your merry way. Especially when other people don’t understand you.

In reality people who are afraid to dare to be different are secretly envious of those of us who have the courage to take this risk.

I say: All hail the misfits, the freaks, the rebels, the lefties.

And all hail the people who conform. Either way the world needs more love and compassion and less judging.

I recommend you buy and read The Science of Creativity magazine.

My stance is that everyone can be creative:

Accountants who crunch numbers. Folk singers at a coffeehouse. Customer Service Reps.

In fact I don’t like to use the word freak. This is because those of us who don’t conform most like don’t see anything different about ourselves.

We go along quite content inspired by whatever muse urges us to create.

I’ll end here with this:

If you want to succeed in life be creative in your own way.

The joy of self-expression is the ultimate remedy for pain.

What’s Right

4 converse

The Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater defines rightness as: “The quality or state of being true.”

The word rightness: “Allows us to be in charge.” We take the reigns as well as the reins.

In alignment with Slater I’ve posted my own parade of Converse sneakers:

From left to right: colorful Mara Hoffman – Missoni stripes – navy blue – hot pink ballet.

My rightness has been having the courage to say: “This is it–no more jeans.”

It’s heretic to tell readers this yet I don’t like wearing jeans.

Blue jeans are supposed to be the Great Equalizer–a democratic wardrobe item because everyone wears them.

Only I wear denim at most once a week. What is right for each of us is unique to who we are.

The trick with jeans is to pair them with a sharp blouse or a better jacket.

Part of throwing off the shackles of guilt is to embrace your quirks.

Your “rightness” can change over the years.

Rightness is a state of mind as well as sartorial bent.

What’s right in your life? Find it and express it honestly.

Whether it’s flaunting a pair of shoes or curating a mood:

A woman has the right to be true blue in her own inimitable fashion.

Let Love Rule

It’s time to Let Love Rule like the Lenny Kravitz song title tells us to do.

Dwelling on the negative and consuming a steady diet of horror stories in news articles and Op-Ed pieces only serves to harm your mental health.

There’s a lot of hate in the world coming from all sides. The haters have been given a platform in the media.

I have no doubt that hate corrodes the soul of the hater as much as it damages the person they hate.

In my blog I’ve decided to focus on what I’m for instead of preaching about what I’m against.

I take great inspiration from the Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater.

She marries her fashion philosophy with enlightened thinking about social issues.

If you ask me we need to position recovery as an act of mental health justice.

Other words have preceded the word justice: food justice, social justice, environmental justice, and so on.

While I’m committed to these other forms of leveling the playing the field in society my prime focus is on mental health.

You can find inflammatory click-bait writing in newspapers online if that is your think and thing.

Be a committed citizen.

We live in an often sad and angry world. Where the old guard of those in power are spreading misinformation under the banner of alternative facts. In an attempt to hold on to their control.

Understand this dynamic. When it’s gotten you down I hope my blog can be the positive prescription for taking time to enjoy yourself.

Read the news should you be able to. Think for yourself about what’s going on and how to treat other people.

In my blog I seek to offer a remedy to the hate: joy, love, peace, and understanding.

In the coming blog entry I’ll talk about my solution.

I’m a fifty-four year old woman living through “the change” of life.

I have things to say and I’m not going to be afraid to say them.

This is what I know to be true:

To forgive is to heal. To love is to live.

Spreading Joy, Love, Peace, and Understanding

By reading about other women I’m inspired to spread joy, love, peace, and understanding.

Dua is Albanian for love.

The Dua Lipa interview in the May issue of Elle magazine has inspired me to no end.

She’s the Albanian singer-songwriter who won a Grammy award for Best New Artist.

In the interview she talked about having eggs as snacks. She cooked and fed her interviewer eggs.

In my Flourish blog devoted to other topics I wrote about my change to scrambling eggs and veggies for breakfast.

Hearing Dua Lipa talk about having eggs as a snack reinforces my belief that a music star–or any famous person–can be an inspiration.

In the interview she talked about getting lost in a scroll hole of negative comments about who you are.

Not a fan of social media I understand the temptation to live for “likes” and worry that what you write will alienate your followers.

Dua seems down-to-earth which impresses me.

The interview talked about how women have been standing up and asserting our needs for a long time. Starting with Janet Jackson in the 1990s.

This gives me confidence to stand up for myself and what I believe in.

Ladies: start your engines.

Life at 54

Turning 50 is what it is. Turning 54 is another thing entirely. You’re on the shady side of your early fifties.

In coming blog entries I want to talk about this era in a woman’s life.

How your priorities can change. How your identity can change.

I want to document my efforts to go Green.

I want to chronicle what it’s like to wake up one day and realize your life is getting shorter. Realizing that you have only a limited amount of time to achieve your goals and resolutions.

The future isn’t guaranteed–either for ourselves or the planet.

Like Michael Jackson sang in “Man in the Mirror” I’m striving to help better the world.

So first I have to look in the mirror and change my life.

This starts with having a sustainable lifestyle first of all. Once this is in place you can start thinking about global issues.

Menopause is the right time to make positive changes.

Changing for the better is possible at any time in your life.

I say: love turning 50. It heralds a decade where the possibilities are beautiful.

Not everything might be a bed of roses at this time.

That’s when you put on rose-color lipstick. And go out to get what you want.

Women are conditioned that we have to take care of everyone else.

Now is the time to get our needs met.

I’ll talk in a coming blog entry about an interview with Dua Lipa in Elle magazine.

Along with Arianna Grande she’s one of my new role models.

Being More With Less

My new favorite blog is Courtney Carver’s.

She is the woman who edited her clothing choices to 33 items used every 3 months.

I’ll link to her website at the bottom of this blog entry.

Her latest writing is about the Italian ethic of Dolce Far Niente or sweetness of doing nothing.

I’m proud to be Italian American.

Before Carver scheduled time every so often to do nothing in her own words she:

“Ran at an unsustainable pace, multi-tasking my way through the day and enjoying or being present for very little of it.”

That’s exactly what happened in my own life.

Everything changes when you go through “the change.” This is no exaggeration.

Sometimes you need time by yourself to rest and recharge your batteries.

I get what Carver is saying.

More imperative is what she outlines as the Truth:

“Recognize the difference between nothing and numbing.”

“Escaping your busy life with substances and activities that help you numb out does the opposite of intentionally doing nothing.”

Right said Courtney.

In coming blog entries I’m going to talk about my own strategies I’m adopting as a way to Be More with Less.

My new mantra is Go Slow to Move Forward.

Rush, rush, rushing around isn’t good for a person’s mental health. Slowing down and pacing yourself is the solution.

Coco Chanel told women to look at ourselves in the mirror and take off one thing before leaving the house.

I say remove one item from your to-do list before you leave the house in the morning. Better yet remove two items.

Women shouldn’t have to keep doing double the work to only wind up getting half as far.

Won’t you join me and Courtney Carver in enjoying Dolce Far Niente–the sweetness of doing nothing?

Be More with Less blog

Having a Capsule Wardrobe

It strikes me today that having too many clothes is a liability.

Your mental health suffers every morning when you stare at a bursting closet and lament: “I have nothing to wear!”

Seeing everything take up all that space in reality you subconsciously think: “I’ll never get my act together!”

Having a routine and prioritizing what’s important to focus on is imperative at mid-life.

After the arrival of the Uniqlo package over a year later I understood that it can cause distress to be overwhelmed by the act of choosing and using items in your wardrobe.

To wit I had written: “Where would I be able to stuff yet another sweater?”

Having a capsule wardrobe is the antidote.

Ever the radical that I am I created a genius plan that beats Marie Kondo at her own tidying up game.

The solution is to only buy clothes you truly love instead of schlepping home impulse buys.

When you do this you won’t have to stare at a bunch of clothes and ask yourself if you truly love each item enough to keep it.

Choosing and using only a core collection of wardrobe items saves your sanity at the front end.

So that you won’t have to engage in clutter control at the back end.

Elsewhere this concept is calling having a capsule wardrobe.

Most experts say this involves having and using about 30 items of clothing each season.

My goal is to replace the clothes I buy in the future with fewer items of better quality.

Really one hack for front-end clutter control is to know Your Self and determine your Style. (More about creating your own style here in the future.)

Then you’ll be saved from purchasing mistakes that only hang in your closet unworn.

Here I can tell you that limiting the amount of clothes you buy frees you up to spend more time on things you truly enjoy.

Some of us hate to shop–at least in actual stores.

Putting careful thought into the clothes you buy is a good habit.

I plan to go 2 years without buying another sweater, pair of pants, skirt, or dress. I’ll talk about this Fashion Challenge in a coming blog entry.

My goal is to do what experts advise: “shop in your own closet” to create new outfits every week.

It seems about right to have 30 to 33 items of clothing you rotate every season.

For the original source of the Capsule Wardrobe Makeover you can read about Project 333 here.

The Be More With Less blogger edited out her clothes to help herself better manage a medical condition.

I’m confident that this approach can S.O.S.–save our sanity every morning when we open the closet doors and ask:

“What do I have to wear?”