Going Broke Buying iTunes Music

My job shut down. I cannot go outside without maintaining 6 feet of social distancing. To go to a mailbox I walked in the middle of the street rather than on the sidewalk.

The number-one goal as I see it in this time of crisis is to eat healthful food as consistently as possible. To do this refrain from buying snacks in the first place.

It’s imperative too to protect and sustain your mental health.

Research proves that listening to music can boost a person’s mood.

In this time of sheltering in place I’ve turned on the radio at 9:00 in the morning. The radio has been going until 9:00 at night.

Only Alt 92.3 FM (available everywhere via the radio.com app) rotates the same 1990s alternative songs over and over.

Thus I find myself going broke buying iTunes music for my new computer.

This is the hazard of being cooped up in your apartment all day and night.

The music on Alt 92.3 FM IS okay most of the time.

Three songs rotated on this radio station I can recommend listening to:

“Charlie” by Mall Rat.

The new Killers song “Caution.”

“Coffee for Your Head”–a tune about cheering up a depressed person.

In this time of staying indoors I recommend listening to music to sustain your mental health.

Refrain from watching negative news reports all day every day.

I happen to live in New York State which has the highest recorded cases of CO-VID19 in the U.S. This pandemic is no joke so I won’t go outside unless I absolutely must.

The music cheers me up. It might cheer you up too.

My Cure for the Change of Life Blues

I turn 55 in the spring.

Letting yourself go at 40 and older is a form of depression.

The loss of loved ones can lead to sadness, a lack of energy, and a loss of hope.

All of which I’ve experienced in the last four years.

Life can be so hard–there can be pain–that little rituals of self-care can lighten the burden on your hips.

Self-care has become a buzzword that’s a cliche. Yet it’s a truism because it’s an effective way to nourish your soul.

I won’t go under the scalpel, so I chose another option: buying a new shade of foundation: MAC Pro Long Wear NC 27 – Y (yellow).

The authors of the Makeup Wakeup wrote that older women benefit from going up a shade or two in our “base” or foundation.

From my experience at the MAC counter this appears to be true.

Taking a risk–to buy a new foundation; to get to know a new person; to do anything new and different–is the remedy for the change of life blues.

When 55 beckons it’s time to flout the rules, to celebrate your imperfections, to embark on the open road of your life.

Buying foundation could seem to be a frivolous endeavor.

Only:

“The world is so serious that having fun is not frivolous,” said an image consultant I’ve talked with.

This is exactly the reason why, if you’re an activist, you should dance in your hotel room to music coming out of a high-end speaker.

My goal in life is to spread pure joy wherever I go to make people feel good.

I’ll end here with this:

At 55 there’s no shame in doing things that make you feel good.

Putting my best face forward has made all the difference.

Rising in Tune

I’ve read the book In a Single Garment of Destiny the collected essays and speeches of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

From what I remember it was said that after civil rights were gained King wanted everyone to break bread together.

He framed obtaining civil rights as a cause benefiting all Americans not just African Americans.

Reading about acts of hate has the effect that I’m in actual pain even though I’m not the victim.

Still I think the rhetoric in opinion pieces in the New York Times and elsewhere only serves to sow division rather than uniting Americans.

Since I value Education I’ve made the positive dissemination and use of information a choice to adhere to.

Continuing to dwell on the negative offers no hope. And I think that hope is warranted.

People can change. This is a fact. I’ve seen this with people I know.

You have the choice. You can decide to love others

I’d like to be proactive and positive in talking about what’s going right in the world.

I’ll end here with a link to the Black Lives Matter organization website.

They sell a tee-shirt.

My goal is to seek out the stories of innovative individuals making a difference. To write about these people in the blog.

To tear the borders down, break the walls, and create a better world I think IS possible.

In coming blog entries I’ll talk about my own experiences.

If “every eye is a mirror” I’ve seen with my own eyes that people can be open-minded.

February 2020 Allure

billy porter

I took home a free copy of the February 2020 Allure magazine as seen above. It’s the Art of Beauty issue.

Michelle Lee the editor-in-chief wrote in her art appreciation editor’s letter:

“Having the freedom to express yourself is art we can all appreciate.”

On the cover is Billy Porter who starred in and won a Tony for his role as Lola in the Broadway production of Kinky Boots.

His audacity to be his authentic self has empowered me.

In the interview with Porter in the magazine he is quoted:

“The very thing that everybody’s telling you is wrong is exactly what you have to be.”

On the last page Porter is asked to Please finish this sentence: I feel most attractive when I’m…

“Living in the fullness of my authenticity.”

From watching an Oprah Winfrey episode he learned “the importance of shifting your mind-set toward service to others.”

Porter has done an inimitable service to readers simply by acting true to himself.

He was the first openly gay man to win an Emmy as a leading actor in a drama for his role on Pose.

Elsewhere in the February 2020 issue in a Modern Wellness feature a writer chronicles her own odyssey with making art:

“The truth is, medication can often help artists better access their creativity and express their emotions more readily.”

A fashion designer was quoted in this article:

“My creative output has never been higher than when I’m on medication.”

I identify as an Author Artist and Athlete.

The premise of my memoir Left of the Dial was “enjoy your quirkiness.”

Reading the articles in the February 2020 issue of Allure gave me a shot in the arm of confidence to continue blogging and speaking out.

My goal is to be part of the solution. My mantra is this:

I stand up for individuality in all its guises in everyone living on earth.

I’ll end here with a curious feature on page 36. Activist and art curator Kimberly Drew was asked to tout the products she loves the most.

When she gets a moment alone in her hotel room she usually ends up dancing. To do this only her Bang & Olufsen Beoplay A1 speaker will do for listening to music.

Imagine that: an activist touting a high-end speaker that most likely costs $100 or more.

The idea that you can be an activist on your own terms cheers me.

Crank up the tunes I say. Contribute something positive to the dialog.

In honor of Martin Luther King Day coming up this Monday I’m going to post a blog entry about how each of us can make a difference in our own way.

I believe in the transformative beauty of creating art to make the world a better place.

The Beauty of Individuality

The online Merriam Webster definition of stigma is “a mark of shame or discredit.”

I’m not keen to use the term stigma to describe what is in effect a lack of compassion for people who are different, who might not look like you, who might have an illness.

Too often the word stigma is framed as the cause of people not seeking help for mental health issues.

My memoir Left of the Dial chronicles my own fear of not being normal.

In 2020 I would like to be part of the solution to what’s going on in the world.

For too long narrow-mindedness has ruled in society.

I can identify with individuals who were subjected to “conversion therapy.”

I can relate to people who were told to conform and give up their dream of being an artist.

What I’d really like to do is contribute to the dialog about how to heal from stigma.

No one should feel guilty or ashamed because they don’t fit the mold of what other people think is acceptable.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of internalizing this stigma.

On the cusp of 55 I’ve decided to promote individuality as the remedy.

The only way to succeed in life is to be who you are not who others would like you to be.

In coming blog entries I’m going to talk about the beauty of individuality in more detail.

New Decade Goal

hendrix peace

Right on to the woman who sent me this image in the holiday season.

Choosing to Be Grateful

In this gloomy weather I find that having an attitude of gratitude imbues my life with hope for the future.

Every other day I write down 5 things I’m grateful for in my grateful journal.

It’s a hardbound spiral journal that I write entries in.

First I reread the last two or three selections. Then I write a new entry.

A research study reveals that keeping a grateful journal can help a person ward off blue feelings. It might have even halted people from being depressed.

Gathering around the Thanksgiving or other holiday table you’re bound to interact with people that don’t share your worldview.

I’ve found that the remedy is keep my cool and talk about other things.

I’m too jaded to think that anyone in our government–not Liberal Democrat Republican or Conservative–can help ordinary Americans and do the right thing for everyone on the planet as well.

The part of Thanksgiving that I can accept celebrating is the “giving thanks” part of the holiday.

I’m grateful to be happy and healthy and healed. I’m grateful for every experience I’ve had–good and not-so-good. I’m grateful for everyone I’ve met along the way in my life.

One change–it could be called the fourth changeover–had the most impact on my happiness.

In recent months I’ve been able to make peace with reality and to make peace with other people.

What I’m able to do now is to understand that there’s no “right” or “wrong.”

I am who I am. You are who you are. Others are who they are.

The goal as I see it is to give each other a wide latitude to express ourselves.

What alarms me is that there are people who think the government can actually help them. They have fixed beliefs about Mr. Toupee and about everyone else who has been elected to serve us.

So–they sharpen their knives and cut you to pieces along with the turkey.

I turn 55 soon. The older I get I’ve come to believe that compassion is called for.

We must have compassion for the haters, for those who are less fortunate, for people who have done us wrong, for ourselves if we feel poorly about something we did.

Having compassion for others who don’t think, believe, act, live, and identify the same way you do is what’s needed in this often sad and angry society we live in.

My therapist is fond of saying that everyone being different makes the world interesting.

I’m grateful that there’s no other person like me walking down the street.

And yes–I’m grateful to live in America in a city where I’m free to walk down that street.

Those of us who benefit in the world should be doing things to help people who haven’t had any advantage.

This is the message I bring to you in this season:

Choose to love. Choose to be grateful. Choose to do your own thing without fear.

Changeover #3

As I head along on the road to another birthday I’ve made one other change: Cutting the crap out of my life.

Refusing to fall prey to the hateful rhetoric advanced in “click-bait” news articles on the internet.

Choosing to walk on the sunny side of the street. Instead of dwelling on what’s not right in the world.

As the ability of our elected officials to govern ethically is going down the toilet I have no trust that anyone in Washington will come together to help ordinary Americans.

So–I will not talk about Mr. Toupee and his ilk.

I can only tell you that I’m impressed with Andrew Yang–the Democratic candidate. He gets my vote for President should he make it to the primary.

No–I just say no to Joe Biden. It’s because the former Vice President has stated that he thinks marijuana should remain illegal. I prey–prego as Italians would say–that Joe Biden is not elected president.

This is the end of my screed about politics.

As I’ve written, my life improved when I cut the crap out of my reading matter. Cutting the crap out of what I eat has helped too. Cutting the crap out of my relationships has changed things for the better too.

Our government is a circus–yet it’s a dangerous clown act. There isn’t a clown car big enough to fit all the Bozos with the power to screw up America for ordinary Americans and screw up the planet for everyone on it.

So–I chose to dedicate my Left of the Dial blog to positive topics that can empower readers.

I turn 55 in 2020. I will continue to write about my experience as a woman living through “the change.”

Sharing what I’ve learned and what I think along the road to 55 is my version of “What Now.”

Changeover #2

Things change in tiny and big ways when you enter menopause.

One of the humorous shifts for me was that I no longer wanted to wear jeans – denim – dungarees – as a matter of course every day.

They’re supposed to be a democratic fashion item because everyone wears them and likes to wear jeans.

Well I don’t like to wear jeans. I’d rather wear a denim skirt or dress or jacket.

By the time you hit your fifties it’s time to do your own thing not what others tell you that you should do.

What you want to do post-50 and what you were expected all along to do are often at odds.

This is why a lot of women go back to school, ask for a divorce, remodel the kitchen, or embark on other self-reinvention projects.

Like with all things, for me this process started by reexamining my wardrobe.

Out–out went the numerous pairs of jeans. I don’t think I look good in jeans anyway.

It’s so hard to find a pair of jeans that fits perfectly too.

I say: dark-rinse jeans are a better option when you’re going out.

This has been my version of a mid-life crisis: discarding what no longer works. Making room for new things.

The changeover for me started with getting rid of the denim jeans

What happens when you get older is that you suddenly realize that what was okay yesterday isn’t okay today.

It’s time for a makeup shake-up as well.

And for those of us who are looking for love at mid-life the stakes can seem higher.

I’ll end here with this:

Do what makes you happy. If that’s wearing jeans, that’s okay.

So much of these changes involving the need to exert power in a world where women have been rendered powerless.

That’s the bottom line in executing changes in menopause:

Talking control of the narrative of who we are and what we’re capable of doing.

Changeover #1

Instead of dwelling on what’s not right I choose to focus on the positive.

This is one change I’ve made living in menopause: I’ve stopped dwelling on the hate and judgment that exists in the world.

This changeover has saved me from a lot of misery.

I no longer fall prey to the click-bait of hurtful and hateful Op-Ed pieces that writers are given a platform in the media to write.

This changeover has freed up a lot of my energy to focus on what’s going right in the world.

Focusing on the positive is the foolproof tactic at mid-life for feeling better and having the energy to tackle your goals.

Not only do I want to educate and empower readers I want to entertain readers.

Who says a blogger can’t write things that are funny and amusing?

In the coming blog entry I’m going to talk about lifestyle changes I’ve made in menopause.

Some of them are good for a laugh.