My About Face

I figured something out when I was 55. That’s round about the time I checked out of the library a book detailing how attractive people earn more money on the job.

Since the 1990s I’ve read that women who wear makeup on the job earn more.

It begs the question: Does a pretty face get promoted even though they shirk doing work–over a plain face that works hard.

At one job I thought that if I could wear a full face of makeup on that job I’d get a better performance review.

Whatever. I couldn’t muster the ability to wear foundation blush eyeshadow–the works–after this. No longer thinking that I should spend my whole life trying to impress people.

I gave up wearing a full face of makeup after that. An old friend told me years later: “You don’t need to wear foundation.” I took her word for it.

For years so far I’ve applied only eyeliner and lipstick every day. I will leave the house only if I’m wearing lipstick. I’ll use mascara instead of eyeliner at times. There’s always lipstick.

A bathroom mirror should come with a warning like at a fire scene: Stand back 500 feet. You don’t view a work of art only five inches in front of the canvas. And every human being is a work of art.

The thing that clinched not caring about outward beauty / seeking a fountain of youth / hope in a jar was acting as a caregiver.

At 86 you won’t fool the Grim Reaper even if you look like you’re 40. If you’re 60 or older and fixated on youth that’s likely understandable in the context of mortality.

I’ll end here with what I’ve learned: How you look can take you only so far.

At 59 I can tell you that the sooner we abandon the low self-esteem the better off we’ll be. If we’re not good enough in the eyes of others no matter how good or compassionate or beautiful we are (and we are!) that’s their issue not ours.

Plus I think using an iPhone camera makes everyone look beautiful : )

What do you say? Isn’t it time to lighten up our faces?

The Benefit brand white tote bag gets at this in pink letters:

Laughter is the best cosmetic.

I think a sense of humor looks good on everyone.

Our Diamond Years

I bought a quote magnet:

When you’re going through hell keep going.

To get to fifty without losing our mind marbles or money in the stock market is a marvelous feat.

To keep going is the secret to living our lives. Nothing succeeds like persistence.

The caboose to my fifties is rolling in. At 59 it’s time to do what the Christian Dior tee shirt states: I Say I.

Post-50 is the time to throw off the antiquated shackles that kept us bound and silent.

Do what we want to do not what others expect us to do. Act true to ourselves whether people like that we live this way or don’t like it.

Be our own fan club.

To celebrate 60 I bought a Happy Birthday tiara with the words Happy Birthday in pink crystals encrusted in gold above the wire headband.

In at least two accounts I read that you hit your stride in your sixties. Unlike in your earlier days.

Our lives can get better in our Golden Years. More likely they are Our Diamond Years.

So get those sparkly earrings that light up your face. Buy a $55 mug. Take salsa lessons.

Perhaps us Generation X folk blazed the way for the other Generations to follow.

I’ll end with this fortune cookie message:

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go where there is no path…and leave a trail.

In Our Diamond Years where we’re going is likely as yet uncharted.

Our values should be our compass guiding us. These values can change over time.

Finding what floats our boat can help us keep going.

Shuck the oyster. The world awaits.

Giving Fear the Boot

Tabitha Brown on Day 6 tells readers to: Wear Something That Makes You Feel Good.

In further encouragement to buy the book I’ll quote the author:

“And let me say this: if you are scared to do something as simple as wear what you want without caring what other people are going to say or think, then I’m going to encourage you to spend more time with yourself. You don’t know who you are. You are afraid of you.

That’s the real truth. You might be saying that you are afraid of what other people might think, but really you are afraid of you. The power of you.”

How true it is that we (especially women!) fear letting our light shine. We’re often told and conditioned NOT to shine our light. As if there is something wrong with us for promoting ourselves.

As the caboose of my fifties started rolling in my life my train of thought ran towards an exit track. No longer could I care what other people think of me.

Like Tabitha Brown has figured out the fear of doing something like wear a hot pink pantsuit is rooted in being scared to express ourselves. The term I’ve coined is “self-power.” As the train rolled into the station of 59 I started to think about how every one of us has the self-power to achieve our goals.

Even in the face of experiencing a trial (or two or three!) I make the case that in ways that might be small if not big we can change our lives for the better.

I’ve learned firsthand what it was like to be afraid of the Power of You. Tempted to believe that by not making waves other people would like me and accept me.

Only how is it possible to like ourselves if we cower in the face of the cowards who expect us to know our place and not get out of line. Has repressing our identity or personality ever gotten us anywhere or where we wanted to be.

Why is it we’re afraid to get what we want and be who we are and take a stand for what we believe in.

Fifty-nine is rightly the caboose to that train of thought.

Coming up on this birthday all sorts of insight hit me about how to grab life by the horns and enjoy the wild ride.

Fifty-nine is the time to KO the fear once and for all.

More exciting epiphanies coming up. The train to freedom is now boarding.

Celebrating Ourselves

Let’s have a party.

Bravery is called for in the post-COVID world. I’m writing a second memoir. As an Author I’ve grappled with the tone of voice of the new book.

Then I decided: to show by celebrating myself that readers have permission to light up the world with your greatness.

I wondered at how Kylie—or is it Kendall—Jenner has 125K Instagram followers.

Then I understood how a superstar could have hundreds of thousands of fans:

A person like Lizzo or Beyonce is not afraid to be themselves and express their feelings by singing songs and speaking out.

They do what a lot of us are afraid to do—flaunt what they’ve got—and we adore them for doing this.

Why can’t you and I revel in ourselves to the people we interact with? Like the Beastie Boys sang we have to “fight for our right” to party as our original selves.

At the end of the day I know I wouldn’t be happy living as a pale imitation copycat of someone else.

Let’s bring ourselves to light.

I’m not a superstar like Kendall. I’m a tiny person with a big mouth who has only 120 followers.

Getting a kick out of blogging because in the end it’s a way to make a positive difference in readers’ lives.

Blogging is a way to bring people together who wouldn’t meet IRL.

Perhaps in my humble words I can give you the courage to Celebrate Yourself.

To be continued.

Change of Life Change of Outlook

I should not be so nonchalant about telling people my age–57.

Yet living through “the change of life” is central to what I want to say.

Dissatisfied I was reading the first few pages of No One Tells You This–the memoir of a 40-year old woman with no kids and no husband.

I’m writing a second memoir that I would like to publish within two years.

It’s about having my cake and celebrating each new birthday with glee not gloom.

No one talks about being a Generation X Girl living in menopause.

I will do this. Born in the first year of the Generation X cohort I don’t want to be rendered invisible.

Not everyone is a member of “the sandwich generation.” For those of us who are single our lives are often an “open-faced sandwich” acting as the caregiver without children of our own for a mother or father.

This time of life isn’t so terrible even though the pain can be real for a lot of us.

We have only this one lifetime. Use your regret as the catalyst for changing your life for the better. Today is the day to Just Do It.

It can seem like on one ordinary day you pivot on a dime. Most likely this urge was percolating in the coffee pot of your brain for a while. Until it reached the boiling point.

One day you choose to do something totally not like you. Unlike everything you’ve done before.

At 57 I’ve become electrified to Make It Happen–whatever I fancy I want to do before 60 kicks in.

Cherish 50 while it lasts. Grab the bull of life by the horns and ride wild. These can be the best years of our life. At 60 I imagine the bull will get tired of stampeding. Want to laze and graze in the grass.

Our fifties really are the Dangerous Decade. A lot of us are no longer satisfied with the way things are. We risk bending, breaking, and rewriting the rules.

Coming up: How at 57 I’ve become a quick-change artist.

Fearless is the New Flawless

A friend shot the photo above.

In the picture the only makeup I have on is black eyeliner.

The photo shoot set off a revolution in my head.

Through a series of recent events, I’ve come to see that letting go of what no longer serves you is the first step in setting your intention for the New Year.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to let go of the anger. That freedom lies in having self-acceptance.

I’ve decided that how I’m dressed in the photo is an OK Winter Date Night Outfit.

No pumps or stilettos for me. Just rocking boots.

It takes guts to act true to yourself. Only believe me faking who you are leads to ill health.

Getting the new haircut shown in the photo was what turned around my thinking. A great haircut gives you the confidence to take on the world.

Who couldn’t use more confidence in 2022?

On the Classes for Confidence page of the beauty emporium’s website their stance is that:

Fearless is the New Flawless.

Living through the pandemic I’ve come to see things differently.

I’m not keen to have the makeup on my face be the first thing people notice.

In a room of women spackled with obvious makeup I would rather stand out having a fresh face.

What I’ve learned is that worrying about how you appear to others is a waste of time and energy.

Perhaps by talking about my experience I can give readers the courage to act true to yourself too.

2022 is here.

It’s time to let go of the fear of what will happen when we show up as ourselves interacting with each other.

To abolish the hate in the world we must first love ourselves.

The mirror is not our enemy. Nor is any other human being.

On Being 56 Not 35

Today I feel at 56 how I felt at 35–I’m aware my body is changing.

Thirty-five was the first time I was aware of this subtle shift in the physical.

The 40-and-over women’s makeover books focus on the outside. As if the only kind of makeover should involve makeup.

In the 1990s magazine Jane if I remember there was a makeunder photo shoot.

My way to go will be eyeliner foundation and lipstick. Eyeshadow added for an event.

In other areas of our lives post-40 a makeunder could be just the rocket booster for our confidence.

For the second time this year I’m filling donation bags to cart to the Salvation Army.

The older I’ve gotten the need to discard and minimize hit me like sand in the face.

Fifty and beyond is the time for editing and weeding out what no longer works.

One day I woke up and realized the MAC Studio Fix powder foundation suddenly made my face look cakey. After five years where it was stunning.

What about those friends that you realize out of the blue have reduced you to tears?

A makeunder? Count me in. Who needs 22 tubes of lipstick?

Who needs mental emotional and material clutter taking up space in our lives?

In a Different Light

This selfie I took without foundation. Only wearing black eyeliner and Rose Flair lipstick.

As the pandemic enters the second year this is my indoor outfit:

Black-and-white striped tee shirt, black sweater jacket, and black Athleta City pants. With silver globe earrings.

The point is it’s going on the second year of the coronavirus pandemic.

I’m grateful to be alive and breathe air on a sunny day.

This is the difference–time moves on. You either move with it or you wither.

How is it that this selfie is okay? It lies in how we see ourselves. I see myself in a different light after surviving the last year.

Without altering your photo into a strange unrecognizable You I say it comes down to the super-effect of rosy lighting.

Our Zoom selves should be adored not send us running for cosmetic surgery.

At 55 I accept that I don’t have Karlie Kloss’s creamy skin. Nor will I go under the scalpel. Only 5 feet tall I won’t grace a runway either.

The day has come when I can stare at my face in the mirror and be okay with it.

For a lot of us anger is the natural reaction when we realize we wasted so much time viewing our perceived flaws under a microscope.

Today is the day to change this tune. Our time on earth is getting shorter.

The coronavirus pandemic has taught us that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

What I’ve learned:

To love myself better than anyone else could ever love me.

This should be the goal for all of us:

To see ourselves in a beautiful light.

On Having Silver Hair

Not only is my hair turning gray it’s gotten dry. I’m treating myself to a haircut at a better hair salon in March.

Since I feel my current hairdresser screwed up my last haircut. It seems like my hair color has changed overnight.

My hair might turn totally gray within the next 2 years. Keeping my hair its natural color is my way of making a political statement.

Why would a woman be happy to have gray hair? This hair to me is the dawn of freedom from traditional feminine conformity.

From the rule that says you must remain thin attractive and young for the rest of your life or you’re toast in other people’s eyes.

I confess to staring in my bathroom mirror and eyeing the silver hair that is taking over my head. I’m grateful that my hair is turning silver not dishwater gray.

Dare I say I’m excited to be getting silver hair?

This heralds a new chapter in my life–I’m glad to be turning the pages away from history and writing new scenes.

This is why I’m happy to have silver hair.

When I get a haircut at the new hair salon I’ll post a photo of my shining head of hair.

p.s. – I’m too broke to get the upkeep of a dye job : )

No Makeup

No makeup has become a thing for me.

Under the mask I’ve stopped wearing foundation.

Not only that I and others don’t want to hear stories that elected leaders Makeup about what’s going on in society.

Nor do I at least want to be told what to think.

On the cusp of 56 I’ve come to realize that only I can decide what’s right for me.

What I’ve learned:

Love and freedom go hand-in-hand. You can’t have one without the other. Liking yourself without limits is the first step to becoming free.

This birthday year I gave myself permission to be an Artist.

I’m compelled to write in here again about the beauty of individuality.

Wearing No Makeup involves letting the real you show through. Even when you are wearing makeup.

Living an authentic life makes sense to me right now.

The world doesn’t need you and me to be copycats imitating what everyone else does and how they dress and live.

In the coming blog entry I’ll talk about the number-one self-help book I’ve ever read.

It’s a book of help for your Self when you live for likes and are afraid to take a stand.

Are you like me tired of the lies and misinformation being spread like wildfire?

No Makeup. It’s something to think about: telling the truth by being yourself.