The Difference

It started the year I turned 35.

35 was the year that I could see things changing in my body and in my life.

Twenty years later I’m 55 and the difference is obvious again too.

This is the year I’m aware that I’m getting older. The fact that my life is getting shorter has impacted what I think.

The point is: “Do I want to continue to harbor the same insecurities hang-ups and guilt trips?”

If you ask me 55 is the year to get real with yourself. You could live another 20 years.

Far better to start now to change the things that you feel are holding you back.

For instance: women viewing ourselves with a self-critical eye that harshly assesses every perceived flaw we think we have.

Should you not be a woman who ever questions herself this way I’d like to talk to you to uncover your secret for always-on confidence.

I have started to talk to a therapist. My goal is still to meet a man and have a boyfriend. I will explore this angle starting in January in the new year.

In here I would like to post the famous Marianne Williamson quote.

Williamson gets it right:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Self-esteem is a high beam. When you feel good you can do good for yourself and others.

Shine on.

Facing Our Faces

Magazine articles talk about how the use of filters on selfies has altered how women view themselves.

Seeking perfection is a myth because it implies there can be no growth. Achieving a perfect state there would be no higher you could go.

I’m doing things differently today to dismantle perfectionism.

The idea of not using a filter to change the appearance of my face and body appeals to me.

It’s a radical risk to go outside with your hair undone or your face without makeup. Mostly because women are held to and buy into a higher standard of what’s right.

The part of me that resists want to disrupt the traditional notion of what’s acceptable beauty.

At 55 years old I no longer cover applying a full face of makeup.
Those Sephora makeovers were gorgeous yet impossible to maintain day in and day out.

As well getting dolled up that way in my OKCupid photos did nothing to entrance men to send me messages.

It is in the imperfect where everyone shines as human beings who are our authentic selves.

Now I’m owed a free Sephora makeover. This time I will get one with a twist: to tell the makeup artist to use only 5 products. To design a look I can recreate on my own.

Today I think it’s time to celebrate differentness.

Glossy and stylized images aren’t real.

After the pandemic is over I intend to experiment with makeup in a subtle way.

Bravery is called for no matter how old a woman is.

The daring to look in the mirror and shout:

“I see you. I celebrate you.”

Real beauty is what’s on the inside. Expressing the inner outwardly is the goal. This is when a person is most beautiful:

Not being afraid to express themselves.

In the coming blog entry I talk about my experience getting a haircut during the pandemic. The photo of my haircut is unretouched. Without using a filter. In it I used only foundation blush mascara and lipstick.

You could call this approach a makeunder instead of a makeover.

There’s a thin line between art and artifice.

It’s time to get real. Some of us are getting depressed seeing photo-perfect images on Instagram.

My hope is to empower blog readers to do your own thing not what society tells you to do.

55 and Alive

The older I get I’m aware that “change or die” as I’ve written repeatedly in blog entries here is the only way to live today.

The government can’t help us.

We must carry our ideals with us wherever we go–in bedrooms and boardrooms; in private and public; on trains and planes–everywhere is where we have the chance to make a difference.

Living through menopause in the time of the pandemic and protests has set in me the desire to make a difference in new and improved ways.

I’ve decided to start with this blog. To continue to tell stories to illustrate themes about living and loving Left of the Dial.

The work we have to do is ongoing. We cannot expect those in power in this often troubled society to give up control or cede to the demands of the disenfranchised.

I make the case for not remaining silent on the things that matter to you.

I’m 55 and Alive in the World. What I’m going through could make readers think or light a fire in you to make positive changes.

In future blog entries I want to return to thoughts on how the pandemic has impacted me and what I’ve learned going through a bout of reinvention.

If now is not the time to express your Self when is the time?

For me it all began with spring cleaning in July.

I’ll talk about this next.