Driven by Design

I recommend watching the 3-part Netflix documentary Victoria Beckham. Those of us who are driven will likely relate to the fashion designer’s ethic. The former Posh Spice was driven by design to create her own clothing line.

Victoria is an Aries if that is of interest to anyone. Her self-reinvention is a case study in designing a life for yourself linked to your passion.

Beckham was derided as another celebrity-turned-fashion designer like Jessica Simpson. Hey I used to have a tan Jessica Simpson bucket bag. I bought the pocketbook for its style not namesake.

The Victoria Beckham story was empowering. Of course who can afford her clothes but that’s another story.

She’s known for her smoky eye. A former WAG (wife and girlfriend) Victoria is the other half of soccer star David Beckham. She won an Entrepreneur of the Year award.

Instead of being jealous of other women or cutting them down it’s time to revel in each other’s beauty. To see each other as we want to be seen not as the enemy or oppressor.

Bootstraps are beautiful on everyone. And for those of us who could use a lift I say extend a hand.

Not everyone is driven. That’s OK too. It can still be empowering to watch this Netflix series.

Breaking My Fashion Vow

The green sweater that I bought in a PXS arrived in a PM a petite medium not extra small. So I returned it for a credit. Even in a PXS I wouldn’t have kept the sweater. The color green was not attractive and the metallic threads in the sweater looked like tinsel. So I sent it back.

Owing to donating a second sweater to the thrift shop I bought a different metallic sweater in a PS. Too big I sent it back for the PXS. I have the opposite effect of most women in feeling like I’m The Incredible Shrinking Woman.

The older we get us women can literally shrink and get shorter if not slimmer. I’m only 5’0″ tall. I would not like to think I’m going to lose an inch or two in height.

This week I had an epiphany: that every clothing item we buy should be a “Wow!” I call this refining our approach. Engaging in “collecting” clothes not shopping for them. Buying an item after careful and measured consideration.

I wasn’t the one to invent the concept of having a Word of the Year. Another Fashionista did. Yet I’m picking up on this. My Word of the Year is Refine.

To refine how I shop and what I buy definitely. Also to refine what I expect from people and to refine what I think I’m capable of.

Holding everyone to an impossible standard–even expecting yourself to live up to this ideal– is going to cause all of us to be unhappy and resentful.

Far better to embrace a fluid way of life where we accept the changeable nature of who we are and how we live and of others along these lines too.

For one I bought 2 fancy sweaters at a reduced cost. Paying $56 total. I also bought a red handbag when I discarded the 3 pocketbooks.

We can get bored wearing the same clothing items over and over. The winter is cold and can be dark. It can cause seasonal sadness. Buying “things” won’t improve our mood per se. Yet getting two new clothing items can give us a lift when we wear them with clothes we already own.

I rarely buy more than 2 clothing items each season anyway. This is why we should fill in the gaps in our wardrobe with stunners that we’ll look good and feel good in. Again collecting not shopping impulsively.

Buying 2 “Wow!” items instead of 5 or 6 mediocre “Okay, I’ll take it” items after a casual shopping trip to the mall or after an online spending spree.

Heck–I also bought a denim midi skirt. Out out is going in the garbage a cotton knit ankle skirt I’ve had for too long to remember how long.

As I approach turning 60 I’m struck with the idea that a woman–everyone of any gender gender expression really–should be good to themselves as they get older.

Post-50 is not the time to settle for less. It’s the time to expect good things for ourselves. Not impossible feats. Good things. There’s a difference.

So understanding that each of us is doing the best we can with what we were given. That maybe when you meet the love of your life it’s OK to want to buy a fancy new frock to paint the town with this person.

I’m padlocking my pocketbook after these purchases. The dilemma I have is what kind of gift to get myself for my 60th birthday.

I’m thinking jewelry.

Sartorial Self-Care

One way to defy the womanly norms expected of us in the patriarchy is to dress to please ourselves. No man is worth starving ourselves and becoming precariously thin for.

In coming blog entries I’ll talk about weight again. In here I’m going to write about real life-affirming self-care.

Years ago I thought the Visual Therapy Style Quiz was fascinating. Then I became disillusioned with it as I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.

At the time it was like I was going through an existential fashion crisis by wondering what my style type was and should be.

Enter Allison Bornstein and her Three Word Method. She advocates that your Style is found by examining the clothes already hanging in your closet.

After two weeks I figured out my three words were Chic Quirky Confident.

Sartorial self-care can be the most joyous form of loving, accepting, and nurturing our authentic selves–and bodies at the weight we are today.

As a 200-pound woman when you dress sharp not only can you feel better you can inspire other 200-pound women to feel good and be confident in their bodies.

Having clothing confidence is not frivolous and isn’t shameful. The way to like ourselves is to dress in the ways that make us happy.

I for one don’t follow fashion trends unless I truly like the color or clothing items being touted.

When dressing up gives us such joy and happiness no one else should be judging us for liking fashion.

Turning to a clothing rack when the going gets tough can really be a form of self-care that sustains us.

In fact it can help us feel better when we’re not rail-thin!

The Beauty Issue

The current Harper’s Bazaar is the Beauty Issue. Ever since Samir Nasr was elevated to Editor-in-Chief of Harper’s Bazaar the magazine has gotten better. I like HB more than Vogue. HB features social justice articles together with fashion columns.

Ever month I turn to the Market Memo and other pages in The Bazaar section of the magazine. It’s a great way to get inspiration for new outfits to create by “shopping in my closet.”

I’m set to read the book I Survived Capitalism and All I Got was This Lousy Tee Shirt. It’s geared to Gen Z and Millennials yet I’m going to read it soon.

In a future blog entry I will talk about a better alternative to consumerism that I will title Sustain-Ability. The average person according to research buys 63 or 66 items of clothing every year. How is this possible?

I’m going to write about Sustain-Ability which is also Beauty in its own way. I will detail how spring cleaning has become a thing of the past for me.

In the coming blog entry I will talk about a book I bought for my birthday from Barnes & Noble. Reading this guide kickstarted my focus on Sustain-Ability.

Project 333 Clothes Encounters

After reading Project 333 I thought long and hard about when we should welcome discomfort versus when it’s better to feel confident.

Ultimately feeling good in our clothes is what we should strive for. Thinking about using a capsule wardrobe I realized that each of us should dress to please ourselves. We don’t need to step out in clothing trends or outlandish outfits.

Dressing in clothes that are ill-fitting, make you appear sick or tired, or that you’re simply not comfortable in is a mistake. It’s the surefire way to feel miserable all day.

Breaking the fashion rules and other rules can be fun and is often necessary. Isn’t it likely that other people expect us to conform to how they think we should behave precisely because they have their own insecurities they can’t live with. They want us to be company in their misery.

Courtney Carver frowns on thinking you have to do things perfectly.

No—I didn’t follow the guidelines to the letter. You can revise how you execute Project 333. My collection is geared to 39 to 44 items so technically you could call it Project 339 or 344.

Plus there are about ten or eleven items of clothing that I don’t wear that I haven’t discarded or donated. They don’t get in the way of reaching for the ones that I want to wear. So they stay for now.

My jewelry items are listed separately and Courtney said that’s OK. Nor do I count hats tote bags coats pocketbooks or bandannas.

In the summer I list under one item number each my black and white tee shirts. Since they are basics and I own three or four of each color. Those tee shirts get worn-out fast so it’s fine to rotate wearing more than one. Then list in the 33 only one white tee and one black tee when you actually use more.

The alternative is to wear only one white and one black tee shirt. Discard them at the end of the season when they get grubby. Then buy one new tee each summer.

Again Courtney Carver wrote that you don’t have to do this in a perfect way or follow her 33 guideline to the letter.

Coming up my winter capsule wardrobe.

True Style

The second book I checked out of the library was True Style is What’s Underneath: The Self-Acceptance Revolution.

A candidate for a PhD on recovery interviewed me. She asked what I thought the most positive thing was that came from being unwell.

“I value difference,” I told her.

The unique individuals in this guide take off where the others started in the Street Unicorns: Bold Expressionists of Style book I reviewed in a blog entry earlier.

Authors Lily and Elisa had the calling “to uncover what’s underneath authentic style, helping to build a world where getting dressed each morning is an act of self-love.”

I’ll quote from individuals featured in the book as the sparkplug to ignite readers to buy True Style.

Jillian Mercado:

“If you never had to struggle or fight for anything in your life, how could you know who you are and what you’re made of?

If you’re different, that’s sunlight in somebody’s world.”

Tallulah Willis:

“I always say, ‘You know the feeling you’re supposed to have on your wedding day, that you feel like a princess? Why not have that every day?'”

Little old blogger Christina would rather be the sunlight. Not a tornado.

How to Date Your Wardrobe

How to Date Your Wardrobe is a gift book hardcover packed with ideas and insight.

Page 79 sums up author Heather Newberger’s ethic:

“Instead of wasting your time wishing you were a different person, it’s important for all of us to let go of who we think we should be–so that we may enjoy the individuals we already are.”

This sentence has haunted me as it gets at what I’ve been reckoning with in my life. As hard as it can be to act true to ourselves in a society where you’ve expected to conform, I say being who you are is the only way to succeed in life.

The new electric purple lipstick I bought tells it like I am: The shade is called Unconventional Babe.

As sixty beckons for a lot of us it’s the time to do things differently. I recommend trying out a new haircut or taking up a hobby like cooking or starting to exercise.

It’s the perfect time to date your wardrobe and “revive, revitalize, and reinvigorate your style” like Heather Newberger advocates.

Simply creating new outfits has improved my outlook and given me incomparable joy.

Forget following fashion trends. If you don’t feel comfortable in what you’re wearing you won’t feel good or look good either.

I bought this book and refer to it often.

It’s my contention that when things aren’t going right in your life doing what comes easy to you that you like doing will save you from sinking into despair.

In one instant I changed my thinking. Talking about clothes and fashion isn’t frivolous when doing so can lift up others.

Men are not given grief for talking about and following sports.

Why should women be tsk-tsked for talking about dressing up and enjoying clothes?

I tell you it was liberating to get rid of the donation bags.

When you finally own only what you love to wear it makes getting dressed easier.

Seeing those beauties in my closet puts a smile on my face.

Read How to Date Your Wardrobe. Doing so you just might realize that changing your view of yourself can be as simple as changing what you wear.

Sundressed

The 2023 book above I checked out of the library.

The author advocates for wearing natural fabrics that make us feel good wearing them.

She picks up where Maxine Bedat left off in Unravelled: The Life and Death of a Garment.

Lucianne Tonti explores the production process of wool, cotton, silk, linen and other natural fabrics.

How the creating buying and long-term wear of these clothes can be made truly sustainable with regenerative farming of flax cotton and sheep.

After reading Sundressed I knew that as sound as my habits have become I could do more going forward.

Dismayed I was to realize a costly J.Crew coat I bought (at a reduced yet not cheap cost) was not 100 percent wool.

Sometimes it takes reading a book or overhearing a conversation on the train to get a light bulb to go off in your head.

How to Love Our Bodies

I’ve become fixated on dressing in clothes all over again.

The Science of Fitness special edition magazine has an article titled The Power of Body Neutrality.

The key takeaway of this featured article is that you don’t have to think positively about your body every hour of the day.

You might like your hands and not like your thighs. The Body Neutral movement espouses focusing on the parts of your body you really like.

Yes–I’m obsessed with my arms–one with its “kitchen scars” and all.

A surprise suggestion in The Power of Body Neutrality:

Rethink your clothes by sticking with styles you’re comfortable in.

To wit:

“It’s a simple step, but when we’re self-conscious about what we’re in, it just brings more awareness of ourselves to our bodies and what we don’t like about them.”

I for one cannot wear regular blue jeans and feel good.

The quote above from the Science of Fitness hammers home why it’s a mistake to buy clothes that have become popular without thinking of whether you’ll like wearing them once you’ve taken them home.

As I live on the cusp of 60 I’ve taken to rethinking how I want to dress. It might be that I will always dress like I’m a teenager regardless of my chronological age.

Proving that our real age is just a number and the size on a clothing tag is just a number.

If you like how you feel dressed in jeans that’s all that matters.

Loving our bodies is possible.

It’s a radical idea that fits into the Conscious Chic and eco-conscious clothing ethic: save money by buying only the clothes you’re comfortable in. In turn we save the planet and S.O.S.–Save Our Sanity by quieting the internal critic.

How a person dresses often reflects what’s going on internally. Another great reason to choose and use clothing items carefully to either amplify or alter our mood.

It’s true we should like what we’re wearing.

I’m going to take The Science of Fitness mantra above to heart.

Street Unicorns

I checked this new 2022 book out of the library.

Yes–one of the Bold Expressionists of Style(tm) wears a pink pant suit.

My fashion motto is: Dress like you give a frock.

To wit per author photographer Robbie Quinn:

“An individual needs real vulnerability to put themselves out there.”

One of the Bold Expressionists said they dressed in color because they had anxiety and depression.

In my life I find that everything I want to achieve first starts with changing how I dress.

In August two Salvation Army truck drivers carted off 4 donation bags of clothes.

Goodbye to the dull gray and brown items that sapped my energy wearing them. The colors you wear can impact how you feel.

Which must be why the Bold Expressionists often wear loud-and-proud colorful clothing items.

Since I donated the 4 bags I’ve broken my vow not to buy anything new. Adding a pair of silver boots and a pair of combat boots to my collection of shoes.

The older I’ve gotten I’ve become more obsessed with dressing up in clothes that make a statement.

In the 1980s I was a disc jockey on FM radio. Then I dressed in weird clothes and swiped on shocking makeup.

Browsing for unusual digs in Kiss Kiss Kill Kill the punk rock clothing emporium on Bay Street on Staten Island.

Do you readers ever think of the person you used to be when you were young? Or maybe some of you are young.

Nearing the cusp of 60 [in three years!] I find myself on a kick to reinvent how I dress in clothes.

Viewing the Bold Expressionists of Style(tm) in the book Street Unicorns brings joy to my heart.

No one should be afraid to dress to express their authentic self.

Even if for some of us that style is ordinary and not outrageous.

There’s no need to judge how a person looks–or looks in their clothes.

Dressing in clothes is a celebration of life.

The day you become who you are is the real birthday.

My cake has plenty of candles to blow out today.

How old are you? Whatever your age you should not give up on yourself.

My motto for how a person should approach living in their fifties is:

“There’s nothing I won’t wear, and I’ll try anything once.”

Attaining fashion freedom often unshackles us in other areas of our life.

I’ll end here by saying that the Street Unicorns emboldened me to live outside the box. I haven’t met a box I liked having to fit in.