Spring Cleaning 2019

Spring arrives in only two days.

The weather in New York City is going to get better–the meteorologist promises.

In keeping with the theme of cleaning out your closet I want to recommend one genius option for storing things: the InterMetro storage rack that’s on sale as of this week from the Container Store online.

Two years ago I bought the InterMetro storage rack to hold more clothes and a trio of hat boxes on the bottom shelf.

Though I’m only five feet tall I was able to assemble this nifty item on my own. I put it together on the floor and lifted it up and wheeled it to where I wanted to keep it.

It doesn’t cheer me that I have a ton of clothes.

Only the storage rack with the canvas cover can give you extra room for your clothes. You can buy an extra shelf to insert at the top or bottom of this rack.

I still haven’t discovered the remedy for storing pocketbooks so that they’re easily viewed for quick choosing and using.

Taking photos of the pocketbooks can help. Otherwise when they’re not stored out in the open you tend to forget which ones you have.

I’ll have to think about the pocketbook dilemma more and report back in here on a solution.

National Clean Out Your Closet Week

The third week of March is National Clean Out Your Closet Week.

In the spirit of doing this I started to attack my wardrobe this week.

You might chuckle at what I found:

I had bought two pairs of faded cropped jeans that appear identical. There was only one difference: the inside label said skinny on one pair and girlfriend on the other. Otherwise you couldn’t tell them apart.

The trick is to keep on hand only two at the most spare pairs of jeans. You don’t need to have 5 or 6 pairs of jeans just in case you want to paint your apartment.

I’m an artist, yet even I drew the line. I kept only three “extra” pairs of jeans to use for my painting projects.

You can store off-season clothes in under-bed storage boxes. Not anything else under the bed please.

I have an advanced near-encyclopedic knowledge of Feng Shui principles:

Storing papers and documents under the bed can result in restless sleep.

Closet doors should be solid not a curtain you pull across to open. The closet door shouldn’t have a mirror on it.

The bed if you have a partner shouldn’t have a mirror facing it in front of the bed. This can signal adultery or a third party entering the relationship.

These 3 tips are all Feng Shui guidelines that I think make sense.

For off-season storage:

The Container Store is selling at a reduced cost their Cedar Stow storage bags.

They’re cedar-lined canvas storage bags that fit under the bed. They are a Green choice of storage.

I’ve bought 4 Cedar Stow storage bags at this reduced cost.

Plastic has health issues linked to it. It isn’t environmentally friendly.

While you’re not supposed to store other things under the bed I have gotten away with storing clothes in under-bed boxes.

More in the next blog entry about clearing out the clutter at mid-life.

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to the past and move forward.

A wardrobe clean-out can be the start of freeing up space to bring in new things and new people and new experiences.

Fashionista Heal Thyself

To act true to yourself has been recommended so often that it’s become trite.

Yet as vouched for in literature ill-health is the result of squelching your personality so that others can approve of you.

I have an actual Fashionista archetype. There is such a thing. You can go on the Archetypes website and take the quiz to discover your Top 3 Archetypes.

It’s my contention that living in synch with yourself is the way to be healthy.

Merriam-Webster online defines healing as: “To make free from injury or disease: to make sound or whole.” And: “To make well again: to restore to health.”

I think of how styling yourself in clothes can be a form of healing. It’s an innocuous, healthy way to feel good. Yet it often provokes the ire of people who don’t understand that dressing well can be an act of love for yourself.

I would go so far as to say that doing what you love can enable you to heal.

Sometimes you need to take medication along with doing other things when you have a medical condition.

Yet I venture that popping pills alone is simply part of the solution not the endpoint of becoming healthy.

There are as myriad ways to heal as there are people.

A person’s individuality is a precious thing that should be honored embraced and accepted.

I say: do what you love. Do what you love. Do what you love.

Be who you are not who others want you to be.

That is the best way to heal.

My Signature Wardrobe Piece

bandanna purple photo

The Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater talked about having a signature item in your wardrobe.

The photo above attests to what has become my signature item: a colorful bandanna.

The summer I turned 51 my hair start to frizz up and curl in different directions in rainy or humid weather.

I’d dry my hair straight. Going out the door in the rain or humid air I’d arrive at my destination with unruly hair. You can predict the weather by looking at my hair.

That summer I bough 5 different bandannas in a dollar store. (I”m not proud that they have a Made in China label.)

Since I can’t wear a hat on my job I was pleased to be able to get away with wearing a bandanna to staff the reference desk.

Isaac Mizrahi in his book How to Have Style recommended wearing bandannas to brighten your mood.

A woman featured in the Andrea Linett book The Cool Factor sported a bandanna as her trademark.

These two fashion guides inspired me to start wearing bandannas as a bad-hair day cover-up. My cover has been blown.

In New York City the Human Rights Commission has made it illegal for employers to discriminate against workers because of their hairstyles.

I think I was able to get away with wearing bandannas at my job precisely because so many people wear different kinds of headscarves as a matter of course.

In fact: sometimes a hairstyle born out of a bad hair day can become a celebration of your individuality.

Taking away someone’s right to self-expression should be forbidden.

There are so many beautiful people walking around with hair that is a point of pride.

If the hair is not on your head you shouldn’t be concerned with what it looks like.

My unruly hair brings me no happiness.

The bandannas I wear bring other people joy. Walking down the street people stop me and comment on my choice of headscarf.

At midlife wearing a bandanna has become my signature.

In a coming blog entry I”m going to talk more about why uniformity and conformity should be illegal.

Dawn of 54

I will be 54 in the spring.

I’ve discovered the Accidental Icon blog I’ll link to at the bottom of this blog entry.

The goal is to admire not envy others.

In mid life it’s time to accept the things you cannot change.

And to change the things you’re able to.

I’m only 5 feet tall. I couldn’t possibly wear obdurate dangling earrings that steal the show. I would look ridiculous in a rust coat too.

Yet I find that observing that look I can take from it my own distinct variation: maybe my lightweight gray coat and the designer sunglasses picked up at a discount store.

It’s time to get wise to the Instagram-worthy selfies that others post on social media.

Research says that younger people are winding up depressed. Most likely it’s because they’re viewing the perfect-seeming feeds of peers.

“I admire people who seem to have a charmed life,” I told a woman I consider a friend.

“Seem to. That’s it. There’s no charmed life,” my friend shot back.

On the cusp of 54 it’s time to start liking yourself and your imperfections if you haven’t already made peace with these things.

I’ll only ever be 5 feet tall. I won’t have perfect hair ever.

Now I think trying to emulate another person who is supposed to be inspirational as a role model is a myth.

Trying to follow fashion trends is a myth too.

In your fifties you have to trust that you have enough and you are enough.

Regardless of what other people insinuate about your worth.

It’s called self-worth because it comes from within.

The Accidental Icon blog is my new added attraction.

I’m keen to riff on things this other blogger talked about.

Stayed tuned for my own city girl take on getting older.

Downtown Train

green coat

This is the coat that proves my point that fashion isn’t frivolous.

Wherever I go people compliment me on the coat. Even a homeless guy (I kid you not) told me: “That’s an attractive coat.”

It’s from J.Crew and was touted as peacock green. I used a 25 percent off coupon code to buy it.

The coat seems to put others in a good mood when I wear it.

I boarded the downtown train. Clutched the pole near the door because it was standing room only.

After two stops I felt a hand on my sleeve. I turned around thinking it was someone who knew me wanting to say hello.

A guy standing nearby motioned to a newly empty seat. “Thank you.” I sat down.

As soon as I arrived home I installed the Tom Waits song “Downtown Train” in my iTunes library. Waits’ gravelly voice is like no other.

I was touched that a stranger didn’t take the empty seat for himself. Such acts of human kindness restore my faith in the inherent goodness of people.

Is hate learned? I don’t think people are born hating. It comes from seeing others as competition. I talked about the American pie metaphor years ago in this blog: how everyone’s grabbing not just for their fair share, but bigger and bigger slices at the expense of allowing others to have their slices.

The scarcity mindset (Brene Brown wrote about it in one of her books) is alive and well. This mindset is reinforced when citizens are allowed to go hungry. When others are told they must compete to get into elite colleges. When any number of prerequisites are imposed for obtaining success.

There’s a better way. There’s a way out of the fear of not having enough or being enough.

It starts with practicing gratitude. It continues with having compassion.

As we head into the holidays I want to give some insight in this blog that I think can empower readers.

A quote goes like this: gratitude is when what you have is enough.

Especially at this time of year a lot of us can be depressed. My goal is to help readers feel good.

It comes down to slowing down and stopping to smell the American beauties of life.

Seeing the beauty in yourself and others is a way to feel merry and bright. Good people are out there. Kind people are out there.

In the next blog entry I’ll quote a star athlete who riffs on feeling good in the guest column she wrote in the New York Times this week.

Becoming Who You Are

An enduring quote tells us:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Post-illness you can recover yourself along with your mental health.

My persistent belief at mid-life is that you shouldn’t stop doing new things until you’re carried out on your last day.

Make every day a celebration.

I wanted to talk about the necklace in the photo in the last blog entry. The woman took it out of the counter to show me. The tag read Murano.

“I’ll take it,” I snapped because Murano is a famous glass maker from Venice, Italy.

I had bought a Murano millefiore glass bead necklace on a tour of their factory.

The point of this blog entry being that you should not hesitate to give yourself little perks to feel better.

“The Road to You” should be paved with kindness and compassion.

Be not afraid to act and dress a little bolder to make a statement:

“I’m here. I have breasts. Get over it.”

You owe it to yourself to be happy. By expressing yourself through how you style yourself in clothes you can also make others happy.

I’m the resident Fashionista at the poetry readings.

You can absolutely reclaim the good from your life before illness and discard the rest.

I’ve decided at 53 that I want to channel the time when I was a disc jockey on FM radio in the 1980s.

This reinvention started by wearing the outfit in the photo in the last blog entry.

In the coming blog entry I will talk about in more detail about reclaiming yourself after illness strikes.

I’ll talk about exerting your power to be who you are without fear of reprisal.

Tying this in to setting goals in mid-life to get more of what you want out of life.

You can absolutely use your personal history as the springboard for making changes at mid-life.

It truly is never too late to be what you might have been.

Fresh Lipstick

In extolling fashion and beauty in this blog it’s not my intention to dwell on fluff and not substance.

In my Visionary way I simply wanted to branch out from the typical standard mental health reportage because there’s so much more to life than the pain a person can be in.

If dressing up and wearing makeup is going to make a person feel better I’m all for this. It’s precisely when we’re in pain that we should do what gives us joy.

From my view today I understand what it’s like to be going through “the Change” or menopause.

Our bodies and our looks are evolving. Some of us don’t like that the direction everything’s going in is south.

There are genetic wonders among us who have creamy flawless skin and look good without makeup.

There are other women who simply choose not to wear makeup at all.

I honestly believe that everyone living on earth is beautiful.

I admire women who can rock their natural face and look good without makeup.

I say: to hell with what other people think of you, your body, or your face.

Living in menopause is precisely the time to tell our critics: “I’m hot. Are you blind? Can’t you see I’m hot.”

We need to look in the mirror and like what we see by the time we hit mid-life. If we agonize over our looks or our bodies now it’s only going to be worse when we turn 60 or older.

I’m a 53-year old woman. I don’t feel so hot going out without wearing lipstick. My new favorite tube cost more than I care to admit.

This week I checked out of the library Fresh Lipstick: Redressing Fashion and Feminism.

The book flap inside Fresh Lipstick:

“Argues that wearing high heels and using hair curlers does not deny you the right to seek advancement, empowerment, and equality.”

In here I will argue too that dressing in your own authentic way and taking pride in your beauty can empower you to take risks to achieve other goals you have in life.

It’s a double-edge: looking good to feel good and feeling good to look good.

Let’s face it: post-50 most of us aren’t going to have bodies that are Thin AF.

This is precisely the era in our lives when we should think about remodeling ourselves from the inside.

We benefit from asking ourselves now:

Where do I want to be tomorrow? What can I do today to get closer to that goal?

Is there a habit holding you back? Are there negative thoughts persisting in your head?

Changing what we’re able to and accepting what we can’t change–the Serenity Prayer–is a good solution.

At 40, at 53, at however old you are, this isn’t the time to give up on yourself.

I say: make your own happiness a priority at mid-life. Do what gives you joy.

If that’s swiping on fresh lipstick or putting on your dancing shoes, by all means go for it.

The Number on the Scale

I want to write about how following trends in fashion is a mistake.

Not every item of clothing offered in stores or online will fit and flatter every person’s body. This shouldn’t deter us. In the Bobbie Thomas book The Power of Style she has a section on determining your body type and the clothing choices that will flatter it.

Now Loft and Banana Republic online have Plus sizes as well as Petites. It has been a long time coming for this victory.

Repeat after me: the fit of your clothes is what counts not whether the clothing is popular this season. Going to a tailor for alterations will perfect the fit of your clothing.

If you’re in a store trying on clothes refrain from attempting to squeeze yourself into a smaller size because it’s “your” size. Size doesn’t matter: only the fit of the clothing item does.

To wit: I have four different sizes of pants and jeans hanging in my closet.

It’s also a mistake to rely on a single number on the scale as a barometer of how healthy you are. Some experts believe each of us might have a “set point” where our body stays in a certain weight range.

This is undoubtedly true. I’ve been lifting weights for over 7 years so far and I’m the same weight I was as before I started this intense exercise regimen.

The difference is I dropped one pant and skirt size because I gained muscle.

If you think you have to be or should be “skinny” that’s a mistake too.

I’ve excoriated Bethenny Frankel in here before for writing a book that claims you can be skinny forever.

It might not be realistic to want to weigh 127 pounds when you weigh 200 pounds now. Even losing just 10 or 20 pounds to start can be perfectly fine if you ask me.

Improve your health by exercising in some fashion and you’ll feel better even if you don’t lose a significant amount of weight (according to research).

Thinking in terms of having “functional fitness” is the way to go.

I’m happy that I’m fit, energetic, and can carry packages home from a store.

Yes–I’m not naturally thin. I’m “thin” because I exercise and eat mostly healthful food.

In my twenties I used to be 20 pounds overweight. By changing what I ate, seeing an M.D. that had a private nutrition practice, and starting to exercise consistently, I lost the weight in six years and kept it off.

You’re going to be miserable if you aspire to be “skinny” because a reality TV housewife star tells you it’s possible to do this by adhering to her latest scheme.

I’ll end here by telling you: relax. You shouldn’t feel or be made to feel guilty or ashamed because you’re not a certain acceptable number on the scale.

When I was 20 pounds overweight in the 1990s, I wore nothing but Esprit mini skirts.

So there–your weight shouldn’t deter you from dressing in style.

Buy clothes with the perfect fit or that can be made perfect with tailoring.

Doing so you’ll look and feel like a million bucks.

Fashion and Makeup Books

Today I want to give a directory of books on fashion and makeup.

I’m 53 and here to tell you that mid-life is not the time to give up on yourself.

There’s a world out there that would look better with you in it.

Wanting to feel and look your best isn’t a sin nor is it frivolous.

__________________________________________

Fashion Books:

50 Ways to Wear Denim Lauren Friedman

Before You Put That On Lloyd Boston

The Cool Factor Andrea Linnett

Know Your Style Alyson Walsh

Life in Color Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo

The Lucky Shopping Manual Kim France and Andrea Linnett

Nothing to Wear? The 5-Step Cure for the Common Closet Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo

Parisian Chic Look Book Ines de la Fressange and Sophie Gachet

Paris Street Style Isabelle Thomas and Frederique Veysset

Paris Street Style Shoes Isabelle Thomas and Frederique Veysset

Parisian Chic Ines de la Fressange

The Power of Style Bobbie Thomas

Ready-to-Wear Mary Lou Andre

The Sartorialist Scott Schuman

Terms of Adornment Deborah Chase

Makeup and Beauty books:

Bobbi Brown Living Beauty Bobbi Brown

Bobbi Brown Makeup Manual Bobbi Brown

Editor-in-Chic Mikki Taylor

Commander-in-Chic Mikki Taylor

Makeup Michelle Phan

Makeup for Ageless Beauty Linda Mason

The Makeup Wakeup Lois Joy Johnson