Category: Uncategorized

La Bella Figura

I talk about la bella figura in Left of the Dial.

Most Italians could think this “beautiful figure” ethic is social theatrics taken to an extreme. They could feel it reflects poorly on their heritage.

Not so. I’m greatly impressed with this Italian trait. In a negative way, it’s when we go to a bridal party and secretly or not-so-secretly assess the kinds of gifts each of us gives: the amount of money, or how much an item cost, or how lavish the item was.

In another way, it’s “acting as if” or “faking it until you make it” before you’ve become successful. In this way, you adopt the behavior and characteristics of successful people, even when you’re just starting out, so that you can fit in and be taken seriously.

It’s la bella figura in action. And I, for one, am proud that this national trait exists. This is a cultural phenomenon that might not have a biological origin. Yet in a positive light embracing the beautiful figure is a way to be able to at ease in the world with other people.

I’m reminded of a woman I met with a diagnosis who told me she does what it takes to appear normal when she’s outside of her house. Observing social protocol is also what got me where I am today. A little bit of la bella figura helped me get taken seriously when it counted.

Acting normal is not the same as acting false to yourself like I railed against in the last blog entry. At certain times, doing what it takes to blend in can help you feel confident. Yet even as I typed this last sentence I can see the expression “be you-nique” is valid too.

I prize originality, whether in thought, fashion or livelihood.

You can most likely Google in quotations “la bella figura” and then type in Italians to get a more detailed report of this national ethic.

Like I said, I see the good in making a beautiful figure in a positive way. I also see the beauty in being your own original self. The marriage of these two ethics can be magnificent.

Ciao.

Grit

It takes grit to persevere in the face of challenges.

How long do you think it took me to conceive of, write and bring to market my memoir Left of the Dial?

13 years. No kidding.

I will shortly in here write other blog entries under the writing life category.

No one, not you nor I nor anyone, should give up on our dreams.

I was sitting in a chair in the waiting area before being called into an interview. A portly guy came over and sat down next to me and asked if I was going on an interview.

“Yes,” I said. He asked me how it was going. “It’s like this,” I said. “You get nine no’s and on the tenth try you get a yes. So you shouldn’t give up.”

He was impressed with my answer. I always thought he was planted there to see how I’d respond to his question. A little paranoia, yet that’s what I thought.

Quitting isn’t an option when it comes to achieving your life’s goals. The things that aren’t supposed to happen you can allow to end or fade from your desire.

Life goals: you must carry on to try to achieve them.

It’s my contention that every one of us was put here on earth in this lifetime to do one thing. When you find out what your one thing is, go after it with gusto.

My mother’s one thing was to drive me to the hospital within 24 hours of my break. My one thing is to publish the memoir.

Your one thing will be a glorious expression of why you were given this life to lead.

So don’t give up the fight to make it happen.

Live your life with a purpose and passion and you won’t regret a minute that you lived.

Happy Turkey Or Other Food Day

I’m taking a break from the memoir excerpts this week.

Here too I will thank each and every reader of my blogs for tuning in and posting comments when you’re able.

Whatever food you eat, I hope you enjoy abundance in this harvest season.

More than this, no on should be starved for happiness, companionship and empathy.

Glad tidings to you as you go about your days in this holiday season.

Life Is Beauty Full

On Thanksgiving I will not post a memoir excerpt. I will return to doing this in December.

Today’s blog entry focuses on what I think is a secret to success in life as well as in recovery.

I saw in a store an oversize throw pillow with the words: Life is Beauty Full.

One way it can be is when you remember that you hold in your own hands the keys to changing your life for the better. A secret is to be self-reliant and trust that you can take action to do this. Living through the hard times by embracing the struggle and moving through it with the knowledge that setbacks are often only temporary.

Living your life Left of the Dial involves self-acceptance. You realize you will succeed when you compete only against yourself, because then the playing field is truly level. You own the particular piece of land you’ve designated as that field.

You can get on your field and compete every day to be and do a little better than you were and did yesterday. You compete with whatever strength you’ve got today, knowing that your best will change from day to day. You accept that today is what it is; at the same time, you recognize that tomorrow can be different, can be better, because of the action(s) you take today. If today you fail in your attempt(s), you can have hope for tomorrow, because every day you wake up is a second chance to change your life for the better.

Believe in yourself when it seems no one else does. Cherish and respect and honor the things that make you who you are.

Remember: Live is Beauty Full because you’re in it. It’s Beauty Full because all human beings are beautiful.

God doesn’t make junk.

Using Music To Power Through

I used to be a disc jockey on the FM radio in the 1980s.

This first career was a labor of love–I wasn’t paid to do it–yet it set in motion the events of my life in the future. I recommend all young people try to do something positive like this. It will power a person through to the rest of his or her life. It can be a kind of therapy when you’re faced with oncoming symptoms.

Even now, I recommend doing things that give you positive reinforcement. One guy watches sports games. Years later, I listen to music on the radio and iTunes. I recommend installing iTunes on a computer so you can listen to [mostly free] radio stations. Zeilsteen in the alternative genre is good.

In a flash one day it hit me to install Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” At first, I accidentally installed the Sex Pistols version of “My Way” and then I found out they re-created it with new lyrics that butcher the song’s intent.

The original version of “My Way” is the perfect antidote to stigma in my estimation. Listening to it can help us soldier on; to remember we’re beholden to no one else in society to prove our worth to; that we need not seek other people’s approval.

I recommend that you do things YOUR way–in your version of the “My Way” that Frank Sinatra sings about.

Old Blue Eyes was right on the money. Here’s to you, Frankie.

I’ll end here that about five years ago a New York Times article reported on the high number of “Sinatra-cides” that happened in the Phillipines when “My Way” was belted out during Karaoke. People singing this song were actually killed. Numerous clubs banned the use of “My Way” as a result.

Google the lyrics to this song if you don’t want to buy it. I find this song to be truly uplifting.

Music can be one of the joys of life. It can give a person positive reinforcement.

Take that, stigma.

Putting Your Quirks To Work

The October Oprah magazine has an article titled “The Power of Quirk”: why the qualities that set us apart are often the ones that help us succeed.

Alexandra Robbins, the writer of the article, wrote: “Here’s my discovery: Each of the adults said the difference that caused them grief in school eventually led to something wonderful. And when they kept nurturing that quality, it continued to give them an advantage.”

I recommend you fill in the blanks in the QuirkBook that accompanies the article to find out what drives you.

Management consultant Gary Hamel is quoted that what lies at the heart of inventive thinking is: “a knack for seeing the world in a way no one else does.”

To wit: “embracing your quirk helps you become the you-est version of you and share that you-ness with the world.”

I’m all for celebrating and expressing our quirks.

It takes guts to be honest and authentic. Yet the world doesn’t need another person pretending to be someone he or she is not just to be accepted.

I’m not impressed with fakes. I’m not impressed with what passes for normal.

You’re not a rhinestone; you’re a diamond. So shine your one and only light in the world and the ones that matter will accept you for who you are.

The others: we don’t need to try to impress them if they’re going to judge us for having our quirks.

What’s not to love about a quirk?

It’s time to celebrate the individuality of spirit that everyone has instead of attacking others for being different.

Difference is beautiful. Dare to be different in a world of copycats.

Own your quirks. Use them to your advantage.

Memoir Status

I’ve read the manuscript 5 times and I will have the interior text formatted and cover design created soon.

I hope to have Left of the Dial go on sale by November 10th.

My stance is that you need to review your book thoroughly to make sure it is as professional as can be.

I would like to lead a memoir workshop after the book is published.

I’ve quickly gotten over the idea of self-publishing. As long as you have a great book, it’s OK. This can lead to traditional publishing down the road.

Also: traditional publishers are only interested in snatching up the next James Patterson or guaranteed bestseller. Their ability to assess the potential of great literature is faulty. They fail to pick up on worthy contenders all the time.

My book will be available via CreateSpace.

Stay tuned for more news.

Memoir News

I hope to have Left of the Dial go on sale in 7 weeks on November 10th.

Next Monday I will publish another memoir excerpt here. I will try to post a memoir excerpt to this page on the coming Mondays up through when the book goes on sale.

It will be available as a paperback and I hope to have it available as an e-book at the same time.

I’ll give links here and on my author website to the online booksellers.

Stay tuned.