23&Me

At first I thought DNA testing amounted to a parlor trick. Then I changed my mind. Sprung for a 23&Me DNA kit.

My intent in doing this was to connect with others. Be a citizen of the world.

My DNA composition:

95.2% Italian – Sicily + 9 other regions.

Western Asian and North African 4.5%

Northern West Asian 4.3%

Iranian Caucasian Mesopotamian 2.6%

Cypriot 1.4%

Broadly Northern West Asian 0.3%

Broadly Western Asian & Northern African 0.2%

Trace Ancestry: 0.2%

Unassigned: 0.1%

The weird facts section of the report was amusing:

45% chance of slightly wavy hair.

Yes I was born with wavy hair.

Think this percentage should’ve been higher given how unruly my curly “summer hair” is.

Coming into October my “winter hair” will be in effect–straight all day when I blow dry it.

Fear of public speaking:

Less likely to have a fear of public speaking.

Hello–I perform on stage at poetry readings. I do motivational speaking in front of audiences in rooms.

I recommend springing for this DNA testing. It’s a fun amusement more than anything.

The 23&Me DNA kit costs $99. Or $89 if like me a friend who used it gives you a discount code.

Love Welcomes Mat

The photo is of the welcome mat woven by a woman in the Love Welcomes collective of refugees in Greece.

The mat features upcycled fabric with strips of the life vest they wore to escape their home country.

It cost $65.50 total which is a fair price. I’m gearing up to make a donation to Thistle Farms the nonprofit that sells the welcome mats and other products on their website.

Today I’m tuned in more to what’s going on in America and around the world. Every day in my inbox I get social justice emails.

Just being aware of the injustice is the start. Then we must act together to defy the status quo and do what we can to change things.

I was born in 1965—the first year of Generation X. The older I’ve gotten I’m more committed to seeking justice.

I’m 57 and a child of the 1980s. Like the famous Mr. T in that long-ago TV show “I Pity the Fool” who would mess with me after they found out my story.

The quote is that we can’t just seek to change the story. We must change the storyteller.

Giving column space to unique voices and the original perspectives of often-silenced individuals is called for.

My time on OKCupid having crashed and ended I’ve decided to turn my sights on my Advocate work instead.

One thing I’ve done is to publish a second book a career guide for peers. It was my attempt to seek economic justice for people with mental health issues traditionally shut out of employment.

The goal as I see it is to get to the point in society where Activists can go out of business because there’s no more suffering in the world.

As I’ve always said in here one person reaching out to help another person is the way to go.

I have my eye on a pair of earrings on the Thistle Farms website.

Coming up a review of a biting and brilliant book on the fashion industry and the size inclusion revolution.

Thistle Farms

I check out of the library business books shelved in the 658s. At the end of Story Dash the author recommended readers check out Thistle Farms.

Located in Nashville, TN in America the non-profit was founded to give women survivors of human trafficking and addiction housing and employment.

There’s a free 2-year residence for recovery in Nashville. Thistle Farms also sells goods that women around the world handcraft.

The home decor and apparel and jewelry items are sold on the Thistle Farms website. I’ll link to Thistle Farms at the end of this blog entry.

There you can buy a beaded bracelet as cheap as $10. I have my eye on a welcome mat that refugees craft in Greece using strips from their life jackets.

A great find is a black leather tote bag for $99. It’s the kind of pocketbook that stands out. Why order a handbag from Nordstrom online when it will be a mass-produced item that everyone will be carrying everywhere.

The goods sold on the Thistle Farms website give fair trade employment to women living in countries throughout the world.

There are so many great finds on the website that I might break my vow not to spend money. I’m tempted to throw caution to the wind and buy something to support Thistle Farms.

Check out Thistle Farms today.

Brittany Ramos DeBarros

Yes–I promise I will talk soon about the way to do good and make a difference that I discovered last week.

For now I have the urge to preempt my regularly scheduled programming. With a startling thing that happened.

I tune in to the Post-Modern Music Box channel on audacy.com. I’m stuck in this time warp listening to the alternative music of my youth (1980s/1990s).

You can imagine the shock I was in when an 11th District candidate for Congress advertised herself between songs as an “anti-war combat veteran.”

This was uncanny marketing on the part of Afro-Latina Brittany Ramos DeBarros who lives on Staten Island and served in Afghanistan.

How did a political candidate know that an anti-war person like me would be listening to the Music Box channel? That’s a brilliant plotting for votes.

I’ve always thought these American invasions were unjustified. Upwards of $1.4 trillion is being given to the Pentagon.

This money would be better served to give every U.S. citizen 18 and older a $1,000 monthly Universal Basic Income– a remedy to help end poverty here.

Every night as I listen to 1990s alternative music Brittany Ramos DeBarros invades my ears. I’ve gone on her website and her platform is legit.

Nicole CacaCola–the nickname I’ve given to Nicole Malliotakis the current 11th District person–responded to an anti-war email I sent her after she was sworn in. She told me it’s OK for the U.S. to engage in war in Syria and Yemen. That it’s perfectly fine to sell arms to Saudi Arabia.

OK then–what is the U.S. government using this money for after we get it?

CacaCola voted NO to giving American workers national paid sick leave.

A book at the library attacked the U.S. for starting these allegedly “humanitarian” wars that only serve to ravage the citizens and natural resources in other countries.

I can’t say LL Cool Joe–my nickname for Joe Biden–has been any better. He’s allowed the U.S. collusion in these wars to continue.

In one week I’m going to vote for Brittany Ramos DeBarros. I’ll be stunned if she wins. Hardly anyone I vote for wins an election.

Coming up:

The method I discovered for doing good that helps women in America and around the world recover from human trafficking and addiction.

The OKCupid Scammer

There’s a scammer on OKCupid. He strings you along with vague messages. Then insists you continue on WhatsApp because he’s not online on OKCupid often.

There is most likely legal wording that prevents me from publicly disclosing the details of the scammer’s name and what he wrote in his profile.

You can watch the Tinder Swindler on Netflix to see how one cunning man left multiple women on the hook for hundreds of thousands in debt. Conning them into giving him money.

The women the Tinder Swindler seduced started to get paranoid. One checked herself into a psychiatric hospital if I remember right.

It’s possible that there are female scammers too. The Tinder Swindler was not charged with any crimes. He too used WhatsApp to correspond with women.

Say it isn’t so. I wish it wasn’t.

My Pink Pant Suit Epiphany

Living an authentic life is what matters most.

There can be no shame in celebrating yourself (and by extension others) every day of your life.

I say wear that pink pant suit.

Fear not that the Twinkie mobile will come after you because you’re different.

If you feel like yourself–powerful and radiant in a pink pant suit–go out the door in this color you adore.

I learned this life lesson courtesy of having gotten infected with COVID this week.

Though a mild form it was a terrible ordeal. One that got me thinking that persisting despite having self-doubt is the remedy.

COVID taught me that confidence is overrated. Nothing succeeds like persistence.

In the words of a quote magnet:

When You’re Going through Hell Keep Going.

Screwed

I realize that not every woman is like me. Some of us might think abortion is equivalent to a crime. Or simply that they would choose to have a baby and keep it if they got pregnant.

Their right to have a baby should not be viewed as the only choice that is acceptable.

If you are a woman who is against abortion that should be your personal choice. Yet your right is not the only right that is “right.”

Soon every other right that a person has in America is going to fall one after the other. Now that Roe v. Wade has been rejected.

Using my iPad I curiously could not bring up other websites because the Chrome browser gave this error message: The URL could not be verified. Chrome wouldn’t even verify its own Google URL when I typed in google.com.

Remarkably the only website I could type in successfully in Chrome on my iPad was the New York Times. That’s where I saw the headline that the Supreme Court ruled against Roe v. Wade.

The Supreme Court has taken away women’s right to have an abortion.

With access to birth control hard to get and no ability to have an abortion women in America have been sent the message that our only role in society is to be a Wife and Mother.

The No Sex Outside of Marriage and Marriage is for Procreation edicts of major religions relegate American women to being celibate or being Breeders.

Viewing women as dumb dumbs who can’t decide for ourselves who we want to love and when and how.

As a woman with a disability I’m going to get crucified for not having wanted to bring into the world a child who could develop a chronic illness or severe disability that is permanent.

Today it’s not up to me or you to decide whether or not we want to have kids. The Supreme Court has ruled that women don’t have this right.

No couple would adopt the kid of a woman who had a medical condition or a disability. They would be the exception to the rule if they chose to adopt a child who could develop schizophrenia or bipolar.

Besides most couples adopt children from China right so you can’t claim they’ll be swayed to adopt American babies.

What is up with adopting kids from China when American babies need loving homes?

“Adoption is an Option” is what Conservative men driving Chryslers stick on a bumper sticker on their cars.

No–adoption is NOT an option for a lot of women.

We have tactics for sending a message to those states that make abortion illegal.

One strategy might not work yet it bears talking about as persons who can satisfy our own social justice ethic:

Refuse to go on vacation to a state where abortion is illegal. Refrain from doing business with that state.

Take your tourism money elsewhere.

This might barely make a dent in the state’s coffers. Yet at least you could have peace of mind for your own sake.

I will live in New York forever. Not move to Florida when I retire or go anywhere else to live.

Right now I’m seriously rethinking where I’ll travel on vacation to in America.

A lot of women myself included work in a “pink ghetto” where we’re underpaid and overworked for our emotional labor.

Forcing a woman like me to have a child and raise them when we can barely afford to live on our own–and where are we going to get childcare help as single Moms?

Not all men stick around after their girlfriend gives birth to a child. Which busts the Republican myth that a two-parent family will elevate a child’s prospects in life. Not all women can rely on a husband to help care for their child.

Again–you might be a woman who is against abortion. Fine. So you don’t have to get an abortion. That’s your choice.

Let me make my choice.

Pretty soon every other right will be taken away.

The issue is that white men are deciding what’s normative behavior and what isn’t. They’re deciding who has the right to have free choice and who doesn’t.

My claim to fame is that I live my life Left of the Dial. That book title and by extension way of life will forever stick with me.

I’ve known since I was a teenager that I didn’t want to get married and raise a family.

What about you? How do you feel about the Supreme Court decision?

It will be interesting to see what happens next in the kinds of court cases the Supreme Court decides to take up.

Hair Artistry

This is a photo of Bozo the Clown.

When I was 7 years old my mother and friend took us kids to see Bozo in person.

I was terrified of Bozo and wouldn’t sit in the audience. I stayed behind the curtain backstage in tears.

The reality is that when I or other women look in the mirror we can magnify what we think of our appearance into a distorted image.

Seeing this Bozo the Clown hairstyle convinces me that my hair is perfectly fine the way it is. It should cure all of us from looking in the mirror and hating our hair.

Nobody has to like our hair. Only do you like me worry what other people think of your hair?

I want to tell everyone reading my blog to love your hair even if no one else does.

When your hair is gorgeous and it’s a work of art and your crowning masterpiece no one’s fingers should go near it.

You don’t ogle a Van Gogh from 5 inches away in a museum. The same goes for hair.

A couple of years ago in here I wrote about my hair. I was born with curly hair. My natural hair is curly.

In humid or rainy weather it frizzes up and curls in unruly directions. The hair on my head doesn’t curl the same way twice in the summer.

It’s like I get 50 “hairstyles” for the cost of one haircut.

Simply by scrunching up my hair when I’m drying it (without using any product) presto I have curly hair.

Finally October is here and it’s (hopefully) goodbye to the humidity.

You can predict the weather by watching my hair. Frizzy and curly and it’s rainy. Straight and sleek and it’s sunny.

Dreadlocks–a derogatory term–are called locs today. I think locs are hair artistry at its finest.

Natural Black hair is beautiful.

A person whose hair can’t be touched has a power no one else does.

An OKCupid question asks: Would you like your hair pulled during sex?

Cupid, my hair’s too short to pull. If like me you answer No that’s a liability.

This is another “algorithm” that is biased. Like typing “images of beauty” in a search bar.

I prefer to have short hair. I don’t like the feeling of long hair against the nape of my neck. Odd yet true.

Today I go to a trendy salon where the haircut costs $65. I spring for the cost because I’m afraid of getting a bad haircut again like at the old salon.

At the end of the day loving your hair gives you power.

If you’re riding the New York City subway and your hair looks like Bozo the Clown’s no one will mess with you.

Something to think about when you’re having a bad hair day.

9/11 Pandemic Insight

This tee shirt I bought at a street fair in the West Village 12 years ago.

It was my chosen outfit with black jeans to wear to the dentist on 9/11. Using clothing to protest or make a statement is my preferred way of getting a message across.

Though I was afraid to have a cavity or need a terrible scraping of my teeth I was in luck. The cleaning was quicker than usual.

Before opening my mouth wide I told the dentist that I have no energy at all. That in the evening I haven’t been brushing my teeth.

“Everyone has no energy. They’re under stress. The coronavirus is no joke. Some people have it together. Others lost it altogether,” he cut to the chase.

The pandemic has been a game changer in this regard. My dentist was right about everyone being stressed out.

There should be more openness and willingness to talk about mental health issues. No one’s immune from cracks and fissures in the mind these days.

If human beings cannot be honest with each other then we’re living a lie. Game over.

We cannot go back to the way things were before.

It was hard for a lot of us to not resort to snacking on potato chips and pretzels or drinking vodka and gin while holed up in our living rooms.

None of us should feel guilty and ashamed.

Not about our bodies our health our sexuality. Nothing.

Everyone’s doing the best we can with what we were given.

To coexist. That is the only way to live.

To have compassion for each other. Even better.

Dressing Up for Dating

The photo above I used as a match photo on a dating website.

Red is a color that attracts men. So you’re supposed to wear red if you want to boost your luck.

Seems innocent enough right? Yet it poses a dilemma. I received 55 “likes” and I wasn’t interested in any of them.

They click “like” after seeing only my match photo. I read a guy’s profile before clicking that I “like” him.

This is the conundrum: attracting men I’m not interested in.

Like the guy wearing only swim trunks and no shirt whose breasts were as big as mine.

Sorry–though I lift weights I’m not attracted to bodybuilders with bulging bodies as big as boulders.

The tee shirt is my oldest item of clothing. It’s a Product(RED) offering that went on sale the first month Bono created this campaign.

Proceeds from Product(RED) items go to support men women and children living with AIDS in Africa.

Years ago I also bought a Product(RED) red-rubber spatula.

I wish a guy who was hip to this sales campaign would send me a message referring to the tee shirt. Only that would be an impossible stretch.

My computer crashed 2 years ago. The files documents and photos on it disappeared. There were no photos on my cell phone either that showed “lovely legs” like a ZZ Top song.

I even dared upload a recent photo where I’m wearing a purple bandanna, lavender marled sweater, black coated skinny jeans, and black boots.

Men who expect me to wear stilettos are not in my target market.

On my end I don’t go by how a person looks. I read their profile essay first.

Coming up: More Fun in the New (Dating) World? Not exactly.