Bringing the Flavor

At the library I placed on hold the book I Did a New Thing: 30 Days to Living Free by Tabitha Brown the woman featured on the BHG cover above. I’m the first person waiting for the book so I’ll get it first.

Brown talked in the interview with BHG editor Stephen Orr about going on a freedom walk to uncover and express her true self. First by keeping her North Carolina accent intact and not trying to change it.

Brown is an Emmy-award winning actor whose book I’m excited to read. In the interview she talked about finally not caring what other people think of her. She identifies as an “entertainer” her umbrella term for her prolific multiple roles as an actor, influencer, positive lifestyle coach, and businessperson.

If I had to describe myself I would say that I’m a “chief joy officer” who wants to make people feel good. Like Brown with her infectious good humor I’ve chosen the hard path of going on my own freedom walk.

Brown’s journey began when she was in ill health. Her fame took off when her video about eating a TTLA vegan sandwich went viral. Tempeh tomato lettuce and avocado. She is a vegan yet unlike some other vegans won’t judge people who eat chicken and fish.

Like I’ve written before your greatest pain can be the catalyst for figuring out your life’s purpose.

Brown sells with McCormick her own flavorful spice packets. She has vegan and home goods on sale at Target.

BHG is a better magazine now. Though I don’t own a house or have a husband and kids I check out the magazine to read. Precisely for its articles featuring individuals like Tabitha Brown.

By the way I have a New York accent. Tomorrow sounds like tomahrruh and pillow sounds like pilluh. It’s sistuh too not sister as if I’m rapping a song : )

Living Lightly

On a kick I am after reading Project 333 to simplify my life.

The above book I recommend reading and if you want buying as a reference.

The author attests:

“When you release physical clutter, mental clutter often gets swept away with it, giving you a jump start on your path to inner well-being.”

Too the author understands:

“The goal is not to get more done but to have less to do. Fewer distractions and more focus lead to freer, more fulfilling days.”

The single most useful advice she gives is to create “white space” around objects. Seeing overstuffed cabinets, closet shelves, and dresser drawers can overwhelm us.

After I donated 20 bags to thrift stores in the last three years I no longer need to spring clean all the time. There’s space surrounding everything now. The contents are lean, and I feel serene.

Reading Lightly I had one issue: the author assumes the reader is a woman. Aside from this I recommend reading Lightly first so that you don’t have to get to the point where you need to offload 20 donation bags.

Living lightly upfront you won’t have to go through one of Marie Kondo’s “tidying festivals” in the end.

My Winter Capsule Collection

Winter Collection (January February March):

1.Green Adidas Nora sneakers

2.Black platform Adidas Gazelles

3.Purple boots

4.Black boots

5.Black low booties with white rubber soles

6.Black stack-heel booties

7.Black pouch boots

8.White jeans

9.Winter white skinny jeans

10.Black jeans

11.Teal jeans

12.Green jeans

14.Navy pants

15.Silver-coated pants

16.Black-and-silver skirt

17.Black-and-white plaid skirt

18.Blue boucle ankle-length skirt

19.Dark green sweater

20. Black turtleneck

21.Navy cashmere V neck sweater

22.Dark blue-and-black striped sweater

23.Royal blue cotton V neck sweater

24.Purple marled sweater

25.Raspberry-color sweater

26.Black cashmere V neck sweater

27.Red-white-and-black sweater

28.Black matte sweater

29.Black sweater with red polka dots.

30.Purple sweater dress

31.Pink blazer

32.Turquoise green wool jacket

33.Black long-sleeve tee shirt                                                 .

34.Pink long-sleeve tee shirt

35.Pink striped blouse  

36.Dark blue long cardigan

37.Black long cardigan

38. Francesco Risso Uniqlo tee shirt

39. Striped Globe Uniqlo tee shirt          

Project 333 Clothes Encounters

After reading Project 333 I thought long and hard about when we should welcome discomfort versus when it’s better to feel confident.

Ultimately feeling good in our clothes is what we should strive for. Thinking about using a capsule wardrobe I realized that each of us should dress to please ourselves. We don’t need to step out in clothing trends or outlandish outfits.

Dressing in clothes that are ill-fitting, make you appear sick or tired, or that you’re simply not comfortable in is a mistake. It’s the surefire way to feel miserable all day.

Breaking the fashion rules and other rules can be fun and is often necessary. Isn’t it likely that other people expect us to conform to how they think we should behave precisely because they have their own insecurities they can’t live with. They want us to be company in their misery.

Courtney Carver frowns on thinking you have to do things perfectly.

No—I didn’t follow the guidelines to the letter. You can revise how you execute Project 333. My collection is geared to 39 to 44 items so technically you could call it Project 339 or 344.

Plus there are about ten or eleven items of clothing that I don’t wear that I haven’t discarded or donated. They don’t get in the way of reaching for the ones that I want to wear. So they stay for now.

My jewelry items are listed separately and Courtney said that’s OK. Nor do I count hats tote bags coats pocketbooks or bandannas.

In the summer I list under one item number each my black and white tee shirts. Since they are basics and I own three or four of each color. Those tee shirts get worn-out fast so it’s fine to rotate wearing more than one. Then list in the 33 only one white tee and one black tee when you actually use more.

The alternative is to wear only one white and one black tee shirt. Discard them at the end of the season when they get grubby. Then buy one new tee each summer.

Again Courtney Carver wrote that you don’t have to do this in a perfect way or follow her 33 guideline to the letter.

Coming up my winter capsule wardrobe.

Project 333 Guidelines

Minimalist maestro Courtney Carver created Project 333 to better manage her health by using a capsule wardrobe of 33 seasonal items worn for 3 months.

Following the Project 333 system makes sense to me. Especially for those of us who have a hard time getting dressed in the morning. Pulling clothes off hangers, throwing on the bed the discards, and finally arriving at the outfit to wear.

Sound familiar? In a future blog entry I’ll go into detail about making our lives easier with other strategies in addition to creating a capsule wardrobe.

Here’s what to include in the 33:

Clothing

Accessories

Jewelry

Shoes (one pair counts as one item)

What not to count in the 33:

Wedding ring or one other sentimental piece of jewelry that you never take off.

Underwear

Sleepwear

In-home loungewear

Workout clothing (when you use the gear to exercise – wearing yoga pants to run errands in town is part of the 33)

Coming up how I created my own capsule wardrobe.

Life-Changing Book

This month I read a life-changing book: Project 333: The Minimalist Fashion Challenge that Proves Less Really is So Much More.

In January I talk about this challenge in detail and how it played out in my life. For me the better part of the guide was when the author talked about life topics like being creative and breaking rules. (Hint: Creative people live longer.)

To get followers to buy the book I’ll quote from it. The single most useful advice was asking readers what other rules we could break along with fashion rules.

To wit:

We should break written and unwritten rules such as “The rules and expectations that other people have quietly (or not so quietly) set for you.”

Isn’t that how it goes that other people think they know what’s best for us. We fall in line and sink into doing what they say. Then we get ill conforming to this false version of ourselves.

It’s time to take back our lives. To trust ourselves to know what’s right for us in terms of how we should think feel live act love and dress.

Our uniqueness and our differentness are gifts we give each other.

Let’s not allow those “minders” to impact how we feel about ourselves.

Lastly: author Courtney Carver gets this imperative stance right too:

“Just because things are crazy around you doesn’t mean things have to be crazy within you.”

Rouge

The novel above is spiky, surreal, seductive. Forget that it received only 3.8 stars on Amazon. I recommend that everyone reads this book.

Though fiction the narrative exposes the dark side of the skincare industry. By the time I got to only page 119 I had no interest in buying and using anti-aging creams.

The book should turn all readers off from seeking eternal youth. Save your hard-earned money. Use it to donate to charity. Buy a new shade of lipstick guilt-free. Our skin is beautiful even with lines and wrinkles.

Rouge is the gold standard for the craft of fiction. The book should win a literary prize.

You can check it out of the library if you can’t buy it.

Seeing Others

I checked out of the library the book above. This is the book to read if you care about what’s going on and want to aid in changing things.

The first habit to adopt is to see what goes on from the other person’s point of view. It’s called a Point of View for a reason. Everyone’s lived experience impacts how each of us thinks about life, the world, and people.

Scapegoating the readers of books is not the way to end injustice. Authors have been fixated on changing the behavior they assume the reader has when those media darlings haven’t met you.

One of their cardinal sins is hiring a life coach as if wanting to improve yourself is an injustice.

In real life as well as between the pages of books there’s a better alternative to stereotyping people:

Each of us should tell our unvarnished stories. Storytelling is the way to kindle empathy and to motivate readers to act or to change their mind.

In this season when the holiday card greeting Peace on Earth appears to be a cosmic joke I persist in having hope. I remain an optimist.

There’s work that each of us can do to aid in healing. It starts when we choose recovery and reconciliation instead of waging a war with people we view as our enemies.

Positive change IS happening in corners of society in America under the radar of the people who have been given a media platform to spread hateful and hurtful rhetoric.

We don’t have to buy what they’re selling us this season. They can attack us sight unseen when the truth is hiding in plain sight: change is going on.

Let’s not click on the bait or repost bitter barbed-wire attacks.

Love is All Colors just like Love is All Sizes. And Love is Love however it appears. People are falling in love with each other. Individuals are acting as Advocates. Fathers are raising their kids to have manners and compassion.

These tiny acts of justice are going on all around us.

Now more than ever seeing each other and recognizing each other is the way to go.

I’ll end here with what a famous Russian art instructor told me when I took his life painting class. He told me: “Paint what you see not what you know.”

Let’s take five minutes to share our stories with each other. To show who we are and what we stand for. Let’s take a stand against the agents of acrimony who keep us divided.

Thanks + Giving

I’m grateful for everyone who reads the blogs I keep. In my own way I hope to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

This year I’m donating money and material goods to nonprofits making improvements in the lives of the individuals they serve.

At the end of this blog entry I’ll link to the websites of two nonprofits that I donate money to.

The first is the Black Feminist Project that serves Black MaGes (shorthand for MArginalized GEnders.) I found out about the BFP when an interview with their founder was featured in Women’s Health circa two years ago. They are an organization in the Bronx, NY that gives residents of the South Bronx fresh produce from Black Joy Farm on a sliding-fee scale linked to income.

The second charity I donate to is Thistle Farms located in Nashville, TN. They offer residential treatment for women recovering from drug abuse. On their website you can buy products whose income supports women throughout the world who are victims of exploitation like human trafficking.

This year I also donated clothing and household goods to a local nonprofit that gives donors a tax receipt should we itemize deductions on our tax return.

I recommend you seek out local nonprofits in your neighborhood to donate money or your spare time to. With little free time it’s often better for us to donate money.

Black Feminist Project

Thistle Farms

Love is All Sizes

Just like I think “Love is All Colors” I believe that “Love is All Sizes.”

It’s no prize or virtuous feat to weight 105 pounds.

Match.com used to feature a member’s profile on their homepage.

One guy wrote: “I won’t date fat women.”

That was the first thing you saw when you logged onto Match.com.

How much did a woman have to weigh to be over his ideal weight limit.

If I gained 10 pounds would he divorce me.

Would 150 pounds be too big? Would 135 pounds be just right?

Could he tell by looking at a woman that she was too big?

The MetLife insurance criteria listed that a 5’0″ woman should weight 100 pounds and 5 pounds extra for each inch above 5’0″.

Livid I was that Pamela Peeke, M.D., M.P.H. used this guideline in her book Body for Life for Women.

No girl among us should weigh less than 115 pounds unless we’re one of the exceptions who are rail-thin naturally.

A social worker told me stress causes weight loss. Wouldn’t you rather have no stress and weigh more.

Raisa Flowers the makeup artist easily appears to weigh 220 pounds. I tore out of a fashion magazine a photo of her wearing a colorful-crochet Issey Miyake dress because she looked beautiful. Inserted it in my fashion binder. Yes a famous designer sells gorgeous plus-size clothes.

I would like once and for all for every one of us girls to love the skin we’re in. Whether we’re voluptuous or skinny or in-between.

Take it from me: 105 pounds is no prize. Though there’s no shame wherever the number on the scale lands.

105; 205: Love is All Sizes.