Category: Uncategorized

Having Hope

Hope is called for.

I bought this coaster with the mini-easel from a street vendor in

Manhattan.

I’m an optimist.

You must be an optimist, or you won’t survive what you’re going through.

I’ve been living indoors for five months. It has taken a toll as I’m a gregarious person.

Today I go outside to my job again. There I need to cover my face for 6 hours.

Yesterday’s outfit:

Beet-color tee shirt with magenta pants and black shoes. An orange bandanna covering my nose and mouth.

Out on the street I’m the only one wearing a bandanna. The colorful bandannas get washed once a week. I wear a different one every day.

It’s far better than clogging a landfill with single-use disposable masks.

As I venture outside again I’m not always confident that there’s anything to hope for.

Yet hope I have because it’s summer. The sun is shining. The heat is here.

It’s how I see things: I believe in humanity. Even still—I believe in humanity.

I would like to write in the blog about my insight and observations as this season moves along.

I would like to see change. For myself. For others. And for my country.

Postcard from the Ledge

The postcard shown above I took off a ledge in a bookstore.

It’s a reminder to me and a warning to challenge the status quo.

Living through the pandemic [the outbreak hasn’t gone away] I find myself pulled away from conforming.

I resist conforming to societal rules and norms.

What changed?

In my Republican neighborhood most of the people walking down the street have open faces. They don’t cover their face with a mask or bandanna.

Seeing this brazen contempt for respecting the health of others got me thinking: Who should I want to or try to impress at this point in my life?

I go outside wearing a red or black bandanna like a gunslinger in the Old Wild West. I walk in the middle of the street to avoid the people who haven’t covered their faces.

Seeing open-faced yahoos put people’s health at risk–as if the COVID-19 outbreak is no real threat–was the catalyst for my resistance to accepting the status quo in society.

Over 100,000 people have died from the COVID-19 outbreak.

Wearing a mask is a sign of respect.

It eludes me what part of “I respect you and you respect me” the bare-faced folk don’t get.

I will end here by telling readers:

Resist living for self-interest and personal gain at the expense of others.

Resist following the trend of “everyone out for themselves.”

Dare to have compassion.

Having compassion might not be in fashion.

Yet I submit the alternative is no option.

Key of Life

Alicia Keys in her July 2020 InStyle interview echoes what I’ve always thought.

In Keys own words:

“You know, we do a really good job of judging each other and assuming who people are when we don’t even know them. To me, the most important thing we can do right now is take a second to see and appreciate each other as we are.”

Two years ago I titled a blog entry See Who We Are. I wrote then: see who I am not who you think I am.

It’s a fact: Alicia Keys skipped two grades and won a full scholarship to Columbia University.

“See Who We Are” is the title of an X rock band song from three decades ago. I played this song on my radio show back then.

What’s on the surface really has no ability to predict the content of a person’s character.

In the next blog entry I’m going to talk about what I’ve learned living through four months of the pandemic.

See Who We Are

I don’t understand the hate in society–I don’t think I ever will.

My literary agent responded to me years ago with her take on privilege and arrogance:

“Americans love to be rich enough to abuse their freedoms.”

The President had the police force use tear gas and rubber bullets against peaceful protestors to get them off the street.

Why?

So he could walk to St. John’s Episcopal church to hold up a Bible for a photo op.

Using the Bible as a prop to win votes dishonors Christians who are opposed to racism.

People voted Mr. Toupee into office solely because he’s anti-abortion.

It’s funny how unborn babies are deemed to have rights.

Black Americans already living don’t have the right to breathe air according to those in power.

Mr. Toupee–who hasn’t condemned George Floyd’s death–is not fit for re-election.

People across America are outraged–and our President holds up a Bible.

President Obama had faults. Yet while in office he would have spoken out against George Floyd’s death. He did this today in a newspaper editorial.

It’s scary that people believe Mr. Toupee when he calls the news FAKE.

How curious that Mr. Toupee who endorsed Republican Dan Donovan for U.S. congress remained silent when Max Rose a Democrat won the race. Two years ago Max Rose toppled decades of Republican rule in that district.

I’m no fan of any political party in the U.S. I align with the Green Party because of their stance on legalizing marijuana.

In every presidential election New York State goes Democratic. So this is why I vote for Green Party candidates. Most of whom are People of Color.

Sadly as I’ve said before in this blog I don’t think the U.S. government can cure societal ills.

My contention is that “People Have the Power” to quote the Patti Smith song title.

One person doing the right thing to help another person is how change starts.

In coming blog entries I want to tell stories about my life. To illustrate themes about why I feel so strongly about injustice.

In this blog a couple of years ago I wrote:

“See who I am not who you think I am.”

That too many Americans can’t see beyond skin color to the person inside is a crying shame.

Happy Birthday Spring Babies!

We are in the month dubbed Sprouting Grass Moon in the cycle of nature.

The idea of new growth and the greening of Earth sparks in me the hope that change is possible.

As I turn 55 I’m struck that self-care and more rightly so self-nurturing [as a form of compassion for yourself] is the way to go post-50 [or at any time in your life really].

It can be a challenge on a regular day to press the square button to pause the frenetic pace. I make the case for doing so no matter what.

In this time of crisis I haven’t been a saint in terms of self-care. Nor in terms of budgeting.

I thought: 55 is a big deal. It’s more of a milestone than 50 ever was. That’s because you’re halfway to 60.

For better or worse a person can face a new trial while living in menopause. This is the reason self-care becomes a necessity not a luxury at mid life.

Your life won’t wait for you. It’s moving on. Far better to move along with it.

Resisting change is futile in this era.

The motto as I’ve stated in here before [like a caterpillar to a butterfly] is:

Change or die.

Those are brave somewhat harsh words yet oh-so-true.

Who will you be tomorrow?

A more beautiful loving person when you take time out for yourself today.

Happy Birthday spring babies!

Plenty of Fish-y

I haven’t found Mr. Right. Nor have I found Mr. Almost Right. And I haven’t found Mr. Not-Right-Yet-I’ll-Take-Him Anyway.

Yes I’ve tried–OKCupid, Chemistry, How About We, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, and Match–I’ve tried them all.

I only met one guy in person. He was a personal trainer yet curiously wasn’t certified as a personal trainer.

In his profile photos he had black hair. In person he had gray hair. So his photos were 10 years old.

His online requirement was that he sought to meet:

“An intelligent woman who loves life and likes to laugh.”

Though I fit this criteria he wasn’t interested in me. He acted like I was a charity case–like he was doing me a favor sending me messages.

To meet him in person I wore a sleeveless denim dress with an ombre hem and cut-out back like a keyhole. I had on navy-strap platform sandals.

His idea of “intelligent” involved reading James Patterson novels.

This date took  place 3 years ago. It’s the only time I’ll spill details about a person.

After I met this guy the better highlight of that day was shopping at a fish market to pick up dinner.

It pays to stock up on plenty of fish in your refrigerator when you dine alone.

I turn 55 in the spring and will be treating myself to a birthday feast for dinner in my apartment.

Complete with a new set of flatware, dishes, and cloth napkin.

And yes a lobster tail should I be able to get one.

Serve yourself. Don’t wait for a mate.

Get dolled up and dine like you’re in a restaurant when you’re at home.

 

Acting Grateful in a Time of Crisis

New York is the epicenter of the COVID-19 outbreak.

To be safer I’m risking going outside only twice a week.

Walking outside I was suddenly grateful like I hadn’t ever been before for things I took for granted:

In 1999 I moved to Brooklyn when it wasn’t popular to do so. I wasn’t guilty of gentrifying a neighborhood by moving there.

I’m grateful that no one wanted to move to this area. It’s mercifully free of hipsters and multi-million apartment high-rises like in Williamsburg.

I was not ever as grateful as I was this week to be able to walk a long, long distance to and from a food market.

Grateful for my 2 feet that I can use to walk wherever I want to go.

Grateful for the air I breathe.

Grateful for the organic food I could find in the market.

Grateful that I had lifted weights for the last 9 years.

This gave me the strength to carry 2 tote bags filled with 50 pounds each of groceries.

I was also grateful that a woman asked if I wanted help carrying the bags. Even though her face was not covered.

“No thanks,” I told her.

I was also grateful to be able to use a spare orange bandanna to cover my nose and mouth diagonally.

You’re not supposed to buy masks. This diverts the masks from medical staff.

I was the only one on the street wearing a colorful bandanna as a face mask.

It matched the orange FreshDirect tote bags I carried. An unintended fashion statement.

It was a scary experience having to breathe through a bandanna.

That’s when I was suddenly grateful for the air around me.

I tell readers everywhere:

Live with gratitude. Take nothing for granted.

Live for today. You don’t know when it will be gone.

Going Broke Buying iTunes Music

My job shut down. I cannot go outside without maintaining 6 feet of social distancing. To go to a mailbox I walked in the middle of the street rather than on the sidewalk.

The number-one goal as I see it in this time of crisis is to eat healthful food as consistently as possible. To do this refrain from buying snacks in the first place.

It’s imperative too to protect and sustain your mental health.

Research proves that listening to music can boost a person’s mood.

In this time of sheltering in place I’ve turned on the radio at 9:00 in the morning. The radio has been going until 9:00 at night.

Only Alt 92.3 FM (available everywhere via the radio.com app) rotates the same 1990s alternative songs over and over.

Thus I find myself going broke buying iTunes music for my new computer.

This is the hazard of being cooped up in your apartment all day and night.

The music on Alt 92.3 FM IS okay most of the time.

Three songs rotated on this radio station I can recommend listening to:

“Charlie” by Mall Rat.

The new Killers song “Caution.”

“Coffee for Your Head”–a tune about cheering up a depressed person.

In this time of staying indoors I recommend listening to music to sustain your mental health.

Refrain from watching negative news reports all day every day.

I happen to live in New York State which has the highest recorded cases of CO-VID19 in the U.S. This pandemic is no joke so I won’t go outside unless I absolutely must.

The music cheers me up. It might cheer you up too.

The Beauty of Individuality

The online Merriam Webster definition of stigma is “a mark of shame or discredit.”

I’m not keen to use the term stigma to describe what is in effect a lack of compassion for people who are different, who might not look like you, who might have an illness.

Too often the word stigma is framed as the cause of people not seeking help for mental health issues.

My memoir Left of the Dial chronicles my own fear of not being normal.

In 2020 I would like to be part of the solution to what’s going on in the world.

For too long narrow-mindedness has ruled in society.

I can identify with individuals who were subjected to “conversion therapy.”

I can relate to people who were told to conform and give up their dream of being an artist.

What I’d really like to do is contribute to the dialog about how to heal from stigma.

No one should feel guilty or ashamed because they don’t fit the mold of what other people think is acceptable.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of internalizing this stigma.

On the cusp of 55 I’ve decided to promote individuality as the remedy.

The only way to succeed in life is to be who you are not who others would like you to be.

In coming blog entries I’m going to talk about the beauty of individuality in more detail.