Life Cycles

Christine DeLorey in her book Life Cycles: Your Emotional Journey to Freedom and Happiness states that an emotional imbalance is often the root of physical illness.

At the center of Left of the Dial was using your gifts to heal an imbalance and gain a sense of freedom from dis-ease.

I recommend this Christine DeLorey book. It uses the principles of numerology as a guide.

Numerology can be a practical tool to help a person. I have found it to be accurate.

The author suggests that a person loves all their feelings. And that self-expression springs from using our feelings.

I have written before that the goal is to feel what we feel, express it and deal with it in constructive and productive ways.

Not by drinking alcohol or using street drugs, or chowing down on comfort food to feel better.

At the end of the book DeLorey talks about the 2000s and the new female energy and what is going on with our earth. She talks about how we can heal ourselves and heal our planet.

The author makes the case that climate change is the earth’s response to how we are treating the world we live in.

I realize a lot of people are going to be skeptical about numerology. Take it with a grain of salt if you want. Yet even just reading the last chapter of the book might help.

I’ll report back in the future about other things DeLorey wrote in this book.

Recovery at 50

Fifty reminds me of the song “Freedom” from the 1980s.

I turned 50: And I could give a rat’s ass about what other people do and say.

Anyone who cares one minute for what other people think has too much time on their hands. That time is better put to using it to do your own thing in your own inimitable way.

So you want to wear polka dots and stripes at the same time? Go right ahead. Fifty is the time to declare a war on changing yourself to fit into a version of a person that other people will approve.

Anyone else who dares spend their whole life sitting in judgment of you or me isn’t worth worrying about. Forgive them. Pray they one day “see the light.” Then send them on their way.

Besides in reality most normal people are too obsessed with their own perceived faults that they have no time left over to worry about you or me. Capisce?

I make the case for getting to the point where you stop being paranoid about how other people act towards you. This is one of the benefits of being in remission or in having minimally intrusive symptoms–the paranoia doesn’t influence your thinking and in some cases the paranoia is totally gone.

Imagine that: getting to the point where you’re not paranoid.

I firmly believe that acts of discrimination (traditionally called “stigma”) should not be accepted or tolerated.

We need however to differentiate between when we’ve been discriminated against and when we’re merely “reading into” the actions or words of other people.

At 50 years old: I don’t care about so-called stigma. Our lives should not be focused on pleasing other people who can set the hoops higher and higher that we have to jump through.

I’ll be 51 soon–my how time flies. Our fifties if you ask me are the time to get things right: to once and for all throw off the shackles that make us fear “stigma.”

To live the full and robust life that we’re entitled to live.

Fifty is when we’re asked to do things we feel passionate about: buy a home, enter into a relationship, travel, take up a cause–whatever the most persistent and urgent thing it is that our souls demand take expression before we’re gone.

Each of us is going to turn 50 at some point. All hail those of us who are 50 now. Fifty is too late in the game of our lives to continue to sit on the sidelines and not dare to get into the ring to try to achieve a goal.

Read the Theodore Roosevelt quote that I posted here in the quotes section. It truly is not the critic that counts only the person who has gotten in the arena and fought to have a better life.

I’ll return here on Thursday with information about a life-changing book I’ve read that might just help others in recovery find the freedom to be ourselves and live our lives free of stigma.

Year-End Rear-End Review

I counted down to 1987 at the radio station where the disc jockeys played the top 120 or so songs from 1986 in a “Year-End Rear-End Review of 1986 Record Picks.”

To this day I still listen to music. You can listen to The Alternative Project radio station on the iHeartradio website. In New York City if you have an HD radio receiver you can listen to K-Rock at 92.3 FM HD2.

Over the years my brother has given me exorbitant gift cards for Christmas. One year I used one to buy an HD radio/iPod dock/alarm clock. You can set the alarm clock to wake you up to the radio or to music from your iPod.

I also used one of those gift cards to buy an iPod that holds something like 100,000 songs or something outrageous like that. Of course I doubt it contains anything near that amount of music.

My contention is that often what gave a person joy when they were younger can give them joy as an adult.

From the time I was a young kid I always listened to music on the radio. It’s a free source of happiness.

All you need is the money to buy a radio. And if you’re content to listen to Taylor Swift or any regular Top 40 music played on average stations you don’t need an HD radio receiver just any old cheap radio whose frequency comes in clearly.

At the time I was a disc jockey in the 1980s a listener had called in and told me he was miraculously able to tune into WSIA, Staten Island from all the way up in Boston. This cheered me.

I make the case for listening to music. Or reading books. Or cooking or baking from recipes. Or if it’s your thing watching TV. These simple pleasures can be enjoyed from your own apartment or house.

In the coming season with the encroaching arctic freeze of late I recommend staying inside and doing things like listening to music or cooking.

You really don’t need a lot of money to be happy.

I make the case for installing iTunes on a computer and listening to music to cheer up our spirits in the coming gloomy cold weather.

I’ll end here by saying that gratefulness goes a long way in feeling good when parts of your life are not so good.

And face it: when it’s cold outside baby who wants to trudge outdoors in the snow.

Music can be a companion to our days. It can lift us up. It can take us to a better place.

It’s said that “travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”

I say: finding what gives you joy (whether music or something else) and going and doing that makes us richer too.

Thank You

I want to thank everyone who has read this blog over the years.

Thank you for buying Left of the Dial or for reading the memoir excerpts here if you didn’t buy the book.

I’m trying to line up a featured reader gig for the Italian American Writers Association (IAWA) in May. I will tell everyone the information about this if I’m able to get the green light to do this.

2016 is the 25th anniversary of IAWA.

Everyone should take pride in their heritage if you ask me. A few bad apples shouldn’t spoil it for everyone else in this ethnicity.

I once saw a young teen wear a hoodie with bold letters proclaiming: “Proud to be Muslim.” I would like to have a tee shirt that proclaims: “Proud to be Italian.”

You don’t have to be Italian. You can have a different ethnicity. Either way taking pride in where you come from matters if you ask me.

A lot of the customs have gotten lost in translation. I say there’s a beauty in keeping traditions alive.

I wrote years ago at HealthCentral about the recovery strategy of establishing a tradition. I’ll talk about this in detail on Thursday.

Enjoy your day.

Countdown to 2016

The end of the year can be blue for a lot of people who feel they have nothing to celebrate.

Again I’m reminded of the lyrics to the All-American Rejects song “Move Along.” It’s true that when it seems like all hope is gone a person has to just move along.

The future can be better. Today is what it is and tomorrow can be different. We do have the power to shift the needle to have an organic and balanced life. It might not all happen at once. It might happen in increments.

I firmly believe that we’re given only what we can carry. And that the goal is to carry our cross with dignity.

I align as a Christian. Though I don’t attend any church and I’m not a member of any organized religion: I align as a Christian.

Faith in a higher power can carry us through when we don’t have faith in our lives turning around any sooner.

In a book I wrote that I’m no longer going to publish I wrote that an act of faith can simply be walking in a park or around greenery and getting in tune with nature.

I was referred to the Greenpoint Church Hunger Program as a reputable non-profit so I donated money to this effort. The Greenpoint Reformed Church in Brooklyn, NY serves a weekly dinner to anyone who shows up and runs a food pantry with minimal requirements when you go to pick up the food.

Elsewhere I’ve written that buying organic produce and frequenting a food pantry makes sense for a lot of people living on a limited income. Or buying mostly fruits and vegetables and getting other food from a pantry.

One selling point when I was referred to this church was that two married women run it. As in married to each other. I told the person who referred me that I would’ve liked to become a priest if the Catholic Church allowed me to. She told me not to hold my breath.

I was born into a Catholic family and was the only one who attended church often until I went to college. After the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 I turned away from organized religion for good.

Today I’m still not a fan of the bigotry and violence committed in the name of God or Allah. I don’t think any human being should be standing in judgment of another human being because you think they’ve sinned in the eyes of your God. Jesus loves everyone.

I tend not to judge people and I try my best to refrain from doing this. It’s true “all you need is love” and two people loving each other shouldn’t be looked down on.

There’s far too much hate and anger and violence and bigotry (including racism and discrimination) that’s still ongoing in the world.

I gave up wanting to be normal in a society where competing against other people in a “rat race” is the norm.

In this holiday season I say: be grateful for what you do have instead of bemoaning or being jealous of what you don’t have.

At HealthCentral years ago I wrote about the recovery strategy of establishing a tradition. So if you don’t have family to celebrate with do something on your own. Be kind to yourself.

Make a charitable donation if you’re able. Or in the New Year see about volunteering your time instead of money to a non-profit whose mission you endorse.

Thank you for reading this blog. I’m grateful for all the readers who tune in. I hope that in the end like the famous quote tells us you don’t think anything is impossible you think: “I’m Possible.”

Tablescapes

House Beautiful magazine features a page devoted to tablescapes with elegant place settings. It’s one of my favorite features of the magazine.

What resonates with me about this is that tablescapes are the perfect living metaphor for artistic expression.

It should come as no surprise that I’m also an Artist/Creative archetype. In the blog over the years I’ve talked about creativity and mental health. I’ve talked about my days as a disc jockey. I’ve talked about fashion and music.

I’ve long wanted to create things of beauty to give others. Those of us who are artists should be supported and encouraged to express ourselves through our chosen medium or media.

Too often artists are told to do what will earn us tons of money regardless of whether we’d be truly unhappy in a blue pinstripe suit life. My contention is that a person can have emotional riches even though they’re not financially well-off.

I want to tell all the artists and creative folk reading this blog that it’s OK to be who you are. Others in society might bow down before Kim Kardashian and people who get famous for being rich and beautiful.

I say: refrain from being snowballed.

According to Caroline Myss anyone with an Artist/Creative archetype will truly be successful in life only when they’re creating their art. So that it doesn’t matter if we have the adoration of millions or just ten followers or only do our art to please our soul.

She rightly states that a lot of Artist/Creatives might not ever get rich or become famous. Something as simple as creating a tablescape or decorating your apartment in style constitutes the true hallmark of this archetype.

I find this all so fascinating about archetypes.

Thus I want to support other artists and say: rock on!

Fall Dinner Party Theme – Missoni

Possibly this will inspire you to host your own elegant soiree.

Holiday Season-ings

I want to season the holiday time with good cheer for others.

The ending of the year could remind us of loved ones who are gone or unrealized dreams or unfinished business from the past.

I say: abandoning a goal that’s not supposed to be is a wise strategy. Years ago I wanted to get a diploma in image consulting from FIT. Somehow I was able to find out on the Internet that FIT offered a diploma in image consulting.

This goal didn’t ever happen. It’s why I contend that it’s wise to accept that some things aren’t supposed to be.

At this point in my life (I’m 50) I make the case for self-acceptance. I have famously stated in an earlier incarnation of the blog that I won’t ever shoot hoops for the Ladies Liberty because I’m only five feet tall.

Being realistic about what you can and cannot do is the first step. Next we can focus on what we CAN do and we CAN have.

I gave up after seven years of trying the myth that I could be an Executive archetype commanding power in the insurance field.

Sometimes we’re not aware of the disconnect because the goal is something we WANT to do at the time. As we go along it turns out to be a mistake.

I say: let’s lighten up and be realistic. The NAMI Peer Support guideline states: “We expect a better tomorrow in a realistic way.”

The holidays and the end of the year should be a time of reflection: to take stock of how far we’ve come, pat ourselves on the back for our efforts regardless of whether we achieved a certain goal, and set our intention for the New Year.

And hey: judicious retail therapy can’t hurt if you stick to a budget.

I was cheered that a denim jacket I bought fits perfectly and looks good.

Happy December to you!

Archetypes

I titled my memoir Left of the Dial to signal having an organic life where a person’s thoughts and feelings are in synch.

As a disc jockey, I read the VU meter to measure the level of sound intensity of the music. If the needle veered to the right in the red, it was too loud. If it was to the left of the dial the sound was in balance.

So too when your thoughts and feelings are noisy and chaotic–veering into the red–that could signal dis-ease. I co-opted the term left of the dial to connote that you can have a full and robust life doing what gives you joy. And that doing what you love is the way to achieve optimal mental health.

A book I’m reading corroborates what I’ve been writing about all along. The Carolyn Myss book Archetypes lists the features of the 10 primary archetypes. I’m all for honoring and nurturing everyone’s archetype(s) so that each of us can live a happy, healthy life.

Too often we convince ourselves to do or not do something and this could restrict us and make us ill. These are the “myths” the author talks about for each archetype. Failing to live up to your archetype can cause illness and dis-ease.

Not surprisingly I discovered I’m a Fashionista. For this archetype: “beauty and fashion carry projection of your journey of self-empowerment and inner growth to a degree unmatched in any other archetype.”

In Left of the Dial I documented this love of fashion. A couple of reviewers protested this. Yet scratch below the surface and how a person styles herself can be an act of freedom to be our authentic selves.

Myss rightly asserts that discovering your archetype(s) can free you to make the right choices in life–in a career, in a relationship, in how you live and act in the world.

I recommend that you go on the Archtypes website and take the quiz to determine your Top 3. Discovering them and living in tune with them could possibly help shift the needle to the left where everything is in harmony.

It’s a fascinating study and it appears eerily accurate just like the personality type quiz and other self-assessment measurements that are out there on the Internet–like the Kolbe A Index and the CareerMatchmaker I talked about in the Flourish blog.

I’m all for using these kinds of tools that can help a person in recovery live a balanced life of purpose and passion.

Flamed Out

Is it time to move beyond the concept of “difference” as a defining factor in a person’s life? Yes: I think now of celebrating the common like meeting at the Commons–a public park in Boston–where everyone shares space.

We all share space on Earth–on one hand we can embrace difference yet on the other I say isn’t it time to worship the invisible threads that connect human beings.

How most of us want to love and be loved; how all of us hurt and have pain; how we all experience joy.

I want to write about these invisible threads.

Why do so many of us feel like we’re different? Who else is the barometer of “normal” that we’re looking at and deeming ourselves to be different from?

Popular media glorifies same-ness. it celebrates what’s accepted and shuts out the individual.

I’ve championed going on over nine years in my blogging that a person does their own thing and does their own think.

We are individuals. It’s time to rejoice in our beauty.

The Saturday night entertainment at the educational conference was the band Flame. I bought their CD with the song “Someone Like You.”

One rain-haired woman danced and shook a musical stick.

The lead singer started off with “Brown-Eyed Girl.”

They are a professional band. I urge you to go on the Flame website and see and hear the beauty.

Telling Our Stories

The veteran in the video I link to at the bottom is quoted: “You served combat. Or not. You have a story. Tell it.”

Children are asked to sign a life-sized poster board thanking our veterans for serving our country. A bunch of us are conflicted when those brown-skinned children’s grandmothers’ houses in Syria are being bombed.

The two of us think we shouldn’t have started the failed endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Yet joining the military is like taking a vow to become a priest: you might not be under oath yet it’s what you signed up for: serving our country.

We can argue that having blind allegiance regardless of the outcome (think: desecrating a Doctors Without Borders hospital) doesn’t solve anything. We can argue that the billions spent on these wars should’ve been spent on mental healthcare instead. We can argue that we could’ve taken the money spent on war and used it to fund the college education of kids who live in poverty.

Hold those thoughts.

I want to talk about veterans of all stripes now: those who pledged undying (and sometimes dying) loyalty to serve in our military. Those who’ve been through psychic wars. Soldiers fighting mental illness. Those of us battling discrimination because of our mental illness or because of our other perceived “difference.”

It might not be OK to lump all veterans together with our armed forces. Yet my point is that Joe Bruni is right: “You served combat. Or not. You have a story. Tell it.”

I dream a world where there’s no war of any kind. Where American soldiers are not sent into dubious battles programmed to kill. Where people with schizophrenia don’t have to do battle every day with their illness because they’ve gotten effective treatment as soon as they need it.

Where fighting for our rights as human beings is not necessary.

The message is: “Land of the Free Because of the Brave.”

In this regard: I raise a pint to every brave soul who has fought in a U.S. war. I raise a pint to every person who’s fighting some kind of battle in their lives.

We must never forget the lives of anyone who fights. Whether a person is fighting for our country or fighting for their rights or fighting for wellness inside of illness: we must never forget them and never abandon them.

Here’s the Tribute to Joe video on CNN: