Knocked Out

I checked this Mia Kang book out of the library. It’s a new book. I decided not to read it after skimming the first page.

Right there Kang reveals how her agent would call her up and say: “I got you a runway appearance. The designer wants you to lose weight.”

I also bought the current issue of InStyle magazine. In this book a woman was quoted that the insane obsession with women having to be thin is “fat-phobic.”

I don’t like to use the term fat. Nor overweight. Nor carries a few extra pounds. I could only understand calling a woman robust or voluptuous.

Years ago in my blog I berated Skinny Girl Betheny Frankel for writing in a book that a woman could indeed be skinny if she followed Frankel’s rules.

Another diet book author claimed you could decide what weight you wanted to be and think yourself into being that weight.

The time has come to stand up for ourselves as men women non-binary transgender–everyone of all shapes and sizes.

I don’t think that a person who weighs 200 pounds should aspire to be 127 pounds. Then scarf down Lean Cuisine frozen meals for dinner in an attempt to count calories.

No–I don’t think the goal should be to be thin. You can be thin and flabby and not healthy at all. I think it’s ludicrous to want to be or expect that you should be thin.

There’s something screwed up when a fashion designer tells a model that she has to lose weight.

Whittling yourself down to bones isn’t going to make you happy. Please–love yourself regardless of the number on the scale. If you’re not happy with yourself today how are you going to become magically happy after you meet a condition you set for yourself to achieve?

Loving ourselves shouldn’t be contingent on achieving a goal. We should love ourselves simply because we exist.

I say: Own the street. Walk outside on the pavement like you’re a supermodel. Regardless of the size on your clothing tags.

The Path to Freedom

Like Alicia Keys I’ve been on an odyssey to cancel out the outside noise. To draw strength from within as well as drawing a line with eyeliner.

If you ask me the path to freedom starts when you get loud and proud about who you are and what you stand for.

As tempting as it might be to try to conform so that others will like you:

I think repressing your soul will only lead to illness.

I take inspiration from Alicia Keys and her passion to make a difference not just sing a song.

Unlike Keys freedom for me has come in wearing makeup after years of not wearing makeup.

Applying eyeshadow and eyeliner has been an instant thought-lift as well as face-lift

If this sounds frivolous think again: even a public library is hosting a workshop on beauty for its patrons.

I tip my True Religion striped cap to Alicia Keys for telling her story and revealing herself on the page.

Everyone is beautiful with or without makeup.

Expressing ourselves without fear is exactly the positive prescription needed.

Think for yourself. Dress for yourself. Dare to be yourself.

This is what I plan to do in the coming year.

Truth is Beauty

Wasn’t there a line in a poem that truth is beauty and beauty is truth?

I’m coming to the end of reading the Alicia Keys memoir More Myself.

Pages 210-211 are worth the cost of buying the book. Here Keys talks about going without makeup:

“I don’t want to cover up anymore…not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.”

Tens of thousands of women posted photos to the hashtag #NoMakeup.

One person sniped to Keys that if she looked like Keys the woman could choose not to wear makeup too.

To this Keys said: “My deepest intention is that we all find a path to whatever freedom feels like for us–and that is unique to each person .”

If you ask me it is in living an authentic life that a person is truly free. Keys believes we crave the authentic in our narratives not just in our appearance.

The path to freedom is different for everyone.

My odyssey started ironically when I started to wear makeup after years of not wearing makeup.

I would like to talk in coming blog entries about individuality again.

About having the freedom to express yourself with or without lipstick.

Not Buying It

Of course the Republicans and Democrats want us to buy into the myth that their policies will help ordinary Americans.

Only it’s billionaires and their corporations that are getting rich not you and me.

We stand idly by while candidates take pot shots at each other in an attempt to convince us to vote for them.

While capitalism has gone off the rails in endangering the planet.

Living indoors for seven months I’ve come to see things differently in terms of shopping.

A woman published a book titled Not Buying It about the year she stopped buying things.

I own hundreds of jewelry items that I bought over a 12-year period. I have enough clothes and shoes and pocketbooks that I too won’t be buying anything new anytime soon.

Making tons of money for the sake of buying and consuming things is no way to live.

In the time of the coronavirus pandemic I’ve been shifting my own priorities.

By carefully choosing what I buy and take home I will cherish more the things I own.

I’m 55 years old. The Muhammad Ali quote rings true: (you can use the words A person): “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

I don’t view the world the same as I did when I was 20.

Heck–I’m not the same person I was in February before the pandemic shut down my beloved New York City.

Living indoors and composing blog entries in the early months of the COVID-19 outbreak–and hearing the news of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor–changed my outlook.

It’s not that the killings were anything new–it’s that I couldn’t remain silent.

My stance is that like Mary Poppins sang a spoon full of sugar can help the medicine go down.

I wall always strive to give readers joy and optimism. With a dose of insight into how I think things can be better.

Always–I hold out the hope for change.

Not buying things for me involves not buying what elected leaders are selling: that greed is good and consumerism benefits Americans.

On November 3rd I hope everyone goes out and votes for the person they think is best qualified to run the country.

Your vote counts. Your voice should be heard long after your ballot is cast.

The Power of Kindness

In an issue of InStyle going back five or six months there was an interview with Lin-Manuel Miranda and a chef who was his biggest fan.

The quote rings true:

“We need to make sure people are lifted up. If we push people down, we’re going to see a tomorrow that we don’t like.”

In the Power of Kindness TIME special edition magazine there were feature articles about empathy and compassion.

To quote Lynn O’Connor:

“The happiest nations tend to be the ones where equity is greatest, while nations with high levels of inequity tend to be less happy.”

Bhutan has a Gross National Happiness Index instead of relying on a Gross National Product / GNP as a measure of wealth.

Kindness appears to be in short supply from those in command in America.

It’s why my belief that we can’t rely on the government to solve societal ills appears to be coming true.

The Power of Kindness special edition featured ordinary Americans making a difference to help out others.

One person was an 11-year old kid.

Now I don’t think kindness in and of itself can redress injustice on its own.

Yet acting kind sure beats advancing hate.

Irrepressible

Again a fashion magazine has offered wit and wisdom from the mouth of a beauty. In the October InStyle Cynthia Erivo is featured.

She is co-leading a GoFundMe for DRK Beauty: “A digital community that supports free therapy for women of color.”

Erivo is quoted:

“I have never put limits on what I want to wear and what I want to look like.”

Cynthia Erivo is a soulful vocalist. The actor won a Tony, Grammy, and Emmy.

I’m impressed because though I used to like to sing I’m no vocalist. People are stunned at this. They think that because I have an expressive commanding speaking voice that I also have a beautiful singing voice.

Not so. I tried out for the Glee Club in high school. I had to sing “Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah” so the director could hear how I sounded. My voice came out twisted like “Ha ha ha ha ha.” Of course I wasn’t chosen.

Erivo’s creative chops are destined to become iconic.

She is an inspiration to me for commingling art and activism.

We should all take a tip from Cynthia Erivo:

Be your irrepressible self. Be you-tiful.

Sephora Showdown

A new Sephora opened in town.

It was worth it to wait on line outside the store for 35 minutes to gain entrance on the opening day.

The people-watching couldn’t be beat.

A microcosm of American women waited to get in. Ladies in hijabs. A teen in blue jeans texting while on line. A woman with a neon-pink headscarf.

I have altered a few details to protect confidentiality.

The point is women of all colors and creeds shop at Sephora. The desire to use makeup to brighten our faces and to feel good unites us.

Once inside I zoomed in on the $14 mascara I wanted to buy.

Waiting on line I heard the woman standing behind me complain:
“This line is taking too long. That woman at the register shouldn’t be taking all that time. Using those teenagers to get discounts.”

Lady shut up I wanted to say. You can afford to shop in Sephora so zip your lip.

Time’s up on acting entitled. It’s time to show privilege the door.

The cashiers were just doing their job. They’re not paid enough to have to put up with this noxious noise.

It took 10 minutes for me to get served. When I’m grateful to be alive and can walk down the street without getting shot at I’m not going to complain about anything.

My goal is to act bolder. I told a friend I wanted to act more assertive. To this he said: “You already are assertive.”

I encourage all women whether younger or older to make a statement. To not be afraid to speak out.

To stand for something as well as standing in line at Sephora.

Ballots Against Bullets

Merriam Webster online defines genocide as:

: the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group.

The definition of destruction:

: ruin.

I might be the only one using the term genocide to describe what’s going on in our country today.

History is shady too.

I was reading at the library information in an online video course on Art in American History.

One of the hosts got away with talking about how Mr. Toupee hung a portrait of Andrew Jackson on his wall at the White House.

The video host said that Jackson was the architect of the worst American genocide. During his term Native Americans were run off their tribal lands. Thousands were killed along the infamous Trail of Tears.

It tells you something that Mr. Toupee venerates Jackson.

At the library new books have been published praising Mr. Toupee and denouncing “Trump’s Enemies.” Other new books trumpet that the Donald is trashing American democracy.

Whose side of the story is the truth?

Stacey Abrams when interviewed said that we can’t expect any president we vote into office to be our savior.

We can though hold them accountable for doing the right thing once elected.

In two months we vote for the president.

People are being denied the right to vote.

If you are registered to vote I say walk into the polling site with your own two feet–or wheel yourself in if you use a wheelchair–and go vote.

Send in an absentee ballot before the deadline if you cannot show up in person.

One year I walked around the corner to the polling site and voted at 6:15 a.m.

If you haven’t been denied the right to vote–Just Do It–go out and vote.

No excuses.

Life Cycles

Right-on–no really.

Alicia Keys in her memoir recounts having a friend ask her at a table in a pizzeria: “Why are you here?”

That sparked her activism.

And you, why are you here?

I used to visit fortune tellers. I sat down in a chair across from one woman. I hadn’t said one word. I hadn’t opened my mouth.

Out of nowhere the psychic’s first words were: “You’re here to make a difference.”

I’ve stopped going to fortune tellers.

The question “Why are you here” is relevant for everyone today.

Studying numerology can help a person figure out why you’re here. Christine DeLorey wrote the book seen above. I have underlined sentences in each section.

I once tried to talk about numerology to another person. She got spooked. Only I recommend the book Life Cycles.

Christine DeLorey can create a Personal Numerology Profile PDF document for you for $95 dollars.

Some of you might think that’s going a little too far.

However I think that whatever can give a person comfort in the time of the pandemic shouldn’t be ruled out.

I also recommend reading Susan Miller’s AstrologyZone on the internet every month.

What I don’t advise is going to fortune tellers as a hobby. Though I had the good fortune to have real psychics give me accurate readings not all of them are reputable. And what they tell you can freak you out.

The New York Times reported on a woman who gave people fake predictions to string them along for thousands of dollars. When asked to predict when she’d be sprung free from jail for her crimes she couldn’t give anyone that date.

You can browse the Creative Numerology website for an introduction to the Christine DeLorey book.

The goal is self-improvement and self-actualization.

The goal isn’t to have someone tell you when you’re going to die. Or that for $40 she can remove a bad curse hanging over your head.

Living through the COVID-19 outbreak with the changed circumstances of our lives–the mask wearing and the social distancing–have you like I have wanted to exert control over the things you have control over?

When life is uncertain and it feels like things are out of control:

I say doing things that give you comfort shouldn’t be ruled out.

Drugs or drink–no not that. Anything else–why not?

Whatever makes a person happy shouldn’t be judged.

And in this time of illness–physical and political–now more than ever having joy is called for.

Who couldn’t use a little more freedom and happiness in their lives?

The Difference

It started the year I turned 35.

35 was the year that I could see things changing in my body and in my life.

Twenty years later I’m 55 and the difference is obvious again too.

This is the year I’m aware that I’m getting older. The fact that my life is getting shorter has impacted what I think.

The point is: “Do I want to continue to harbor the same insecurities hang-ups and guilt trips?”

If you ask me 55 is the year to get real with yourself. You could live another 20 years.

Far better to start now to change the things that you feel are holding you back.

For instance: women viewing ourselves with a self-critical eye that harshly assesses every perceived flaw we think we have.

Should you not be a woman who ever questions herself this way I’d like to talk to you to uncover your secret for always-on confidence.

I have started to talk to a therapist. My goal is still to meet a man and have a boyfriend. I will explore this angle starting in January in the new year.

In here I would like to post the famous Marianne Williamson quote.

Williamson gets it right:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Self-esteem is a high beam. When you feel good you can do good for yourself and others.

Shine on.