Plenty of Fish-y

I haven’t found Mr. Right. Nor have I found Mr. Almost Right. And I haven’t found Mr. Not-Right-Yet-I’ll-Take-Him Anyway.

Yes I’ve tried–OKCupid, Chemistry, How About We, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, and Match–I’ve tried them all.

I only met one guy in person. He was a personal trainer yet curiously wasn’t certified as a personal trainer.

In his profile photos he had black hair. In person he had gray hair. So his photos were 10 years old.

His online requirement was that he sought to meet:

“An intelligent woman who loves life and likes to laugh.”

Though I fit this criteria he wasn’t interested in me. He acted like I was a charity case–like he was doing me a favor sending me messages.

To meet him in person I wore a sleeveless denim dress with an ombre hem and cut-out back like a keyhole. I had on navy-strap platform sandals.

His idea of “intelligent” involved reading James Patterson novels.

This date took place 3 years ago. It’s the only time I’ll spill details about a person.

After I met this guy the better highlight of that day was shopping at a fish market to pick up dinner.

It pays to stock up on plenty of fish in your refrigerator when you dine alone.

I turn 55 in the spring and will be treating myself to a birthday feast for dinner in my apartment.

Complete with a new set of flatware, dishes, and cloth napkin.

And yes a lobster tail should I be able to get one.

Serve yourself. Don’t wait for a mate.

Get dolled up and dine like you’re in a restaurant when you’re at home.

Conscious Chic in a Crisis

Yes–I’ve been thinking about what I termed Conscious Chic in a blog category.

The Accidental Icon Lyn Slater talks about this in her latest blog post [see below].

Who needs 10 pairs of the exact same pants?

Who needs a bursting closet and overstuffed dresser drawers?

The manufacturing process of garments has long been a destroyer of our natural world.

It’s time to act in a considered fashion like Lyn Slater believes.

Though I’ve bought an eye shadow compact I intend for this to be the only beauty buy for the foreseeable future.

As well I have the intention to dress in the clothes hanging out in my wardrobe today.

I’m not a Green saint as far as this goes. Like Lyn Slater I’ve been thinking about this.

She talked of being creative.

Acting creative can do a world of good in transforming a simple wardrobe of clothes and collection of makeup into a stunning reflection of individuality.

You don’t have to be rich or thin to express yourself through beauty and fashion.

You can trust that you’ll look good without needing a trust fund.

Read the Lyn Slater Accidental Icon blog entry here.

Beauty and the Boots

purple boots

I’m thinking more about the confessions in the Patti Smith article in Harper’s Bazaar.

She invests in coats and boots which has been my game plan in recent years.

The idea that your fashion gives you freedom resonated with me. Boots aren’t traditionally sexy when they’re the type Smith wears.

This is what cheers me as a cisgender woman. That you don’t have to wear stilettos to make a statement about who you are and what you stand for.

The boots above I bought in December in a shoe-buying frenzy. I decided that boots were going to be my thing since I really don’t care to totter in stilettos and pumps.

I”m not keen to wear classic pumps. Not after having worn them for 9 years to legal and corporate office jobs in the 1990s.

A lot of guys on internet dating websites express an interest in meeting a “sexy” woman. The definition of sexy is erotic. I don’t want to walk down the street with everything hanging out for men to see.

It gives me hope that if Patti Smith had a husband and was an iconic rock star that I can meet a guy without having to wear a skintight cleavage-baring dress with a slit up to there.

I’ve decided to wear booties and boots on dates. Mid-heel black booties and the purple ones shown above.

The Bazaar article is right: fashion gives you freedom.

On the cusp of 55 today I think about how we can use fashion as a means of expressing who we are and what we stand for.

There’s a beauty in expressing your Individuality. That’s the ticket to living in health harmony and happiness.

I want to talk more in coming blog entries about searching for Mr. Right. A person that in my case should be Mr. Left in terms of politics.

Fashion and Freedom

Venturing outside I bought the April Harper’s Bazaar. There are great articles peppered throughout this book.

A feature on rock innovator Patti Smith stated:

“For Smith fashion has always been about freedom.”

In the singer’s own words:

“Even as a kid, what I was wearing was always very important to me. I very much identified with my clothing.”

Decades Later I too remember the clothes I wore that were imprinted on my mind about who I was and what I wanted to tell people.

In the 1980s and 1990s I dressed in an Avant Garde fashion precisely to rebel the strictures and sanctions imposed on women where I lived.

On Staten Island the standard fashion fare was a pink sweater and the original Guess jeans.

I shopped in Unique Clothing Warehouse in Manhattan. My goal was to make a statement via how I dressed–it was how I wanted others to perceive me.

The photos of Patti Smith in Bazaar I tore out to insert in my fashion binder. Once a week I view the photos in the binder to get ideas on how to style outfits.

What I know:

It’s always right to dress in your own style even if it differs from what is popular or has become a trend.

I’m glad the 1980s and 1990s are gone and with them the bizarre outfits I wore then.

In the 1990s I bought a blouse with this quote on a hang tag:

You say much more when creativity speaks for itself.

Today I’ve learned that my outfits don’t need to scream for me to command attention.

I say: do your own thing with fashion. Speak your truth through your clothes.

The April Bazaar also features fashion designer Marc Jacobs wearing clothes that women traditionally wear.

His quotes are a must-read as well.

In the next blog entry I’ll talk more about the Patti Smith article which to me was so empowering as a woman.

Acting Grateful in a Time of Crisis

New York is the epicenter of the COVID-19 outbreak.

To be safer I’m risking going outside only twice a week.

Walking outside I was suddenly grateful like I hadn’t ever been before for things I took for granted:

In 1999 I moved to Brooklyn when it wasn’t popular to do so. I wasn’t guilty of gentrifying a neighborhood by moving there.

I’m grateful that no one wanted to move to this area. It’s mercifully free of hipsters and multi-million apartment high-rises like in Williamsburg.

I was not ever as grateful as I was this week to be able to walk a long, long distance to and from a food market.

Grateful for my 2 feet that I can use to walk wherever I want to go.

Grateful for the air I breathe.

Grateful for the organic food I could find in the market.

Grateful that I had lifted weights for the last 9 years.

This gave me the strength to carry 2 tote bags filled with 50 pounds each of groceries.

I was also grateful that a woman asked if I wanted help carrying the bags. Even though her face was not covered.

“No thanks,” I told her.

I was also grateful to be able to use a spare orange bandanna to cover my nose and mouth diagonally.

You’re not supposed to buy masks. This diverts the masks from medical staff.

I was the only one on the street wearing a colorful bandanna as a face mask.

It matched the orange FreshDirect tote bags I carried. An unintended fashion statement.

It was a scary experience having to breathe through a bandanna.

That’s when I was suddenly grateful for the air around me.

I tell readers everywhere:

Live with gratitude. Take nothing for granted.

Live for today. You don’t know when it will be gone.

How to Cheer Up in a Time of Crisis

New York City has shut down through the end of April and possibly this will continue through early May.

While indoors wherever you are I recommend going on the Dressing Well website to read the stylists’ blog regarding: 5 Ways to Get Out of Your PJs.

In early spring in New York City the weather is still colder and not always warmer yet. The heat still comes on in the apartments.

After reading the stylists’ blog I was motivated to wear lipstick in my apartment even though no one else can see me.

One other thing I do to cheer up is to wear one of my colorful sweaters every day:

I have a rose-pink sweater. A neon yellow Uniqlo. A blue-and-black striped Banana Republic sweater. A sky-blue cashmere sweater. And a cocoa brown cashmere.

How to cheer yourself up can be as simple as wearing a new “outfit” every day.

I rotate three pairs of dark jeans with the colorful sweaters.

Through this third week I’m going to start wearing jewelry at home too.

Wearing PJs all day is the quickest route to ill health and a low mood.

Face it: how do you feel when you’re dressed for bedtime and it’s noon?

You might get empowered after reading this blog entry to dress in street clothes while you’re indoors.

My new habit of dressing up to please myself while sheltering in place has done wonders for my mental and physical health.

This is the ultimate proof that fashion isn’t frivolous.

I think fashion can be feel-good medicine for women as we live through this pandemic.

Spring Cleaning in the Time of COVID-19

Staying indoors in your apartment or house is the perfect time to spring clean.

It’s a great day to get rid of the clutter as well as the thoughts in your head that keep you stuck in one place.

Are readers like I am thinking about your priorities in terms of what you want to keep and what you want to toss in your life?

I’ve decided to engage in spring cleaning as a method of rejuvenation and reinvention in this early spring.

What I’ve learned in terms of setting priorities is that you don’t need a lot of stuff weighing you down.

Yes–I can remember having had 22 tubes of lipstick when I was 40. Count them–22 tubes 🙂

Today halfway through my fifties I have only 4 tubes of lipstick.

Living on less money while not at your job is the perfect time to get clear in your head that you won’t spend, spend, spend, as a hobby anymore.

Living through this crisis is the natural segue to making these kinds of changes once you’re on the outside.

I’m getting older. Your priorities can change when you go through menopause. I find that while living indoors I have cooled out with caring about things that don’t matter.

Having 22 tubes of lipstick is the not the kind of life goal to aspire to 🙂

In the coming blog entry I’m going to talk about ways I’ve used to cheer myself up while living through this exceptional time.

These ideas might empower readers too.

Living through This Crisis

I don’t intend to make light of the seriousness of this exceptional time in history that we’re living through.

To get through this it pays to be practical. Yet certain things I’m doing touch on the idea of using beauty and fashion to pull through a hard time.

Engaging in rituals of self-care is even more imperative today. It’s the method I will be using to protect my mental and physical health while I ride out the COVID-19 outbreak.

Luckily, I am free of the illness and expect to remain in good health.

What I’m doing to stay healthy:

I’ve ordered 3 black and 10 red bandannas from Amazon. It will take 2 weeks for the items to be delivered and possibly longer. Amazon has delayed order times because of the COVID-19 outbreak and increase in online shopping.

I will use the bandannas to cover my nose and mouth diagonally when I must go outside to a food market or an ATM at the bank.

You’re supposed to remain six feet away from other people when you’re outside. As I think everyone is aware of this.

The unintended effect is that the bandannas are a fashionable alternative to regular masks. I was told it’s the surgical masks that are the ones you should use for maximum effect.

So, I’ll stick with the bandannas.

An image consultant sent me the link to a lemon sugar body polish that I can order online. I had told her my skin is pasty like it’s winter even though the spring is here. Staying indoors will do this.

I discovered I had a tube of St. Ives apricot scrub for the face. I’ve started to use this even though it might have been in the drawer for two years.

Along with doing positive healthy things to feel better I talk to my mother on the telephone.

Too if you ask me it’s critical to keep up healthy habits: get out of your pajamas, take showers, and dress in clothes.

I’ve been wearing dark jeans and colorful sweaters while indoors. I was able to buy for only $27 a blue-and-black striped sweater from Banana Republic that arrived two weeks ago.

Now I don’t advocate for going into debt buying things online while we’re cooped up inside. What I recommend is the judicious use of adhering to a spending plan when you’re tempted to splurge on goodies.

To occupy my time I’m reading a book that a friend published–Madolina’s Daughter.

The goal as I see it is to protect our mental and physical health living through this time of crisis.

The things I’ve detailed here have worked for me.

Going Broke Buying iTunes Music

My job shut down. I cannot go outside without maintaining 6 feet of social distancing. To go to a mailbox I walked in the middle of the street rather than on the sidewalk.

The number-one goal as I see it in this time of crisis is to eat healthful food as consistently as possible. To do this refrain from buying snacks in the first place.

It’s imperative too to protect and sustain your mental health.

Research proves that listening to music can boost a person’s mood.

In this time of sheltering in place I’ve turned on the radio at 9:00 in the morning. The radio has been going until 9:00 at night.

Only Alt 92.3 FM (available everywhere via the radio.com app) rotates the same 1990s alternative songs over and over.

Thus I find myself going broke buying iTunes music for my new computer.

This is the hazard of being cooped up in your apartment all day and night.

The music on Alt 92.3 FM IS okay most of the time.

Three songs rotated on this radio station I can recommend listening to:

“Charlie” by Mall Rat.

The new Killers song “Caution.”

“Coffee for Your Head”–a tune about cheering up a depressed person.

In this time of staying indoors I recommend listening to music to sustain your mental health.

Refrain from watching negative news reports all day every day.

I happen to live in New York State which has the highest recorded cases of CO-VID19 in the U.S. This pandemic is no joke so I won’t go outside unless I absolutely must.

The music cheers me up. It might cheer you up too.

My Cure for the Change of Life Blues

I turn 55 in the spring.

Letting yourself go at 40 and older is a form of depression.

The loss of loved ones can lead to sadness, a lack of energy, and a loss of hope.

All of which I’ve experienced in the last four years.

Life can be so hard–there can be pain–that little rituals of self-care can lighten the burden on your hips.

Self-care has become a buzzword that’s a cliche. Yet it’s a truism because it’s an effective way to nourish your soul.

I won’t go under the scalpel, so I chose another option: buying a new shade of foundation: MAC Pro Long Wear NC 27 – Y (yellow).

The authors of the Makeup Wakeup wrote that older women benefit from going up a shade or two in our “base” or foundation.

From my experience at the MAC counter this appears to be true.

Taking a risk–to buy a new foundation; to get to know a new person; to do anything new and different–is the remedy for the change of life blues.

When 55 beckons it’s time to flout the rules, to celebrate your imperfections, to embark on the open road of your life.

Buying foundation could seem to be a frivolous endeavor.

Only:

“The world is so serious that having fun is not frivolous,” said an image consultant I’ve talked with.

This is exactly the reason why, if you’re an activist, you should dance in your hotel room to music coming out of a high-end speaker.

My goal in life is to spread pure joy wherever I go to make people feel good.

I’ll end here with this:

At 55 there’s no shame in doing things that make you feel good.

Putting my best face forward has made all the difference.