Again a fashion magazine has offered wit and wisdom from the mouth of a beauty. In the October InStyle Cynthia Erivo is featured.
She is co-leading a GoFundMe for DRK Beauty: “A digital community that supports free therapy for women of color.”
Erivo is quoted:
“I have never put limits on what I want to wear and what I want to look like.”
Cynthia Erivo is a soulful vocalist. The actor won a Tony, Grammy, and Emmy.
I’m impressed because though I used to like to sing I’m no vocalist. People are stunned at this. They think that because I have an expressive commanding speaking voice that I also have a beautiful singing voice.
Not so. I tried out for the Glee Club in high school. I had to sing “Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah” so the director could hear how I sounded. My voice came out twisted like “Ha ha ha ha ha.” Of course I wasn’t chosen.
Erivo’s creative chops are destined to become iconic.
She is an inspiration to me for commingling art and activism.
It was worth it to wait on line outside the store for 35 minutes to gain entrance on the opening day.
The people-watching couldn’t be beat.
A microcosm of American women waited to get in. Ladies in hijabs. A teen in blue jeans texting while on line. A woman with a neon-pink headscarf.
I have altered a few details to protect confidentiality.
The point is women of all colors and creeds shop at Sephora. The desire to use makeup to brighten our faces and to feel good unites us.
Once inside I zoomed in on the $14 mascara I wanted to buy.
Waiting on line I heard the woman standing behind me complain: “This line is taking too long. That woman at the register shouldn’t be taking all that time. Using those teenagers to get discounts.”
Lady shut up I wanted to say. You can afford to shop in Sephora so zip your lip.
Time’s up on acting entitled. It’s time to show privilege the door.
The cashiers were just doing their job. They’re not paid enough to have to put up with this noxious noise.
It took 10 minutes for me to get served. When I’m grateful to be alive and can walk down the street without getting shot at I’m not going to complain about anything.
My goal is to act bolder. I told a friend I wanted to act more assertive. To this he said: “You already are assertive.”
I encourage all women whether younger or older to make a statement. To not be afraid to speak out.
To stand for something as well as standing in line at Sephora.
: the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group.
The definition of destruction:
: ruin.
I might be the only one using the term genocide to describe what’s going on in our country today.
History is shady too.
I was reading at the library information in an online video course on Art in American History.
One of the hosts got away with talking about how Mr. Toupee hung a portrait of Andrew Jackson on his wall at the White House.
The video host said that Jackson was the architect of the worst American genocide. During his term Native Americans were run off their tribal lands. Thousands were killed along the infamous Trail of Tears.
It tells you something that Mr. Toupee venerates Jackson.
At the library new books have been published praising Mr. Toupee and denouncing “Trump’s Enemies.” Other new books trumpet that the Donald is trashing American democracy.
Whose side of the story is the truth?
Stacey Abrams when interviewed said that we can’t expect any president we vote into office to be our savior.
We can though hold them accountable for doing the right thing once elected.
In two months we vote for the president.
People are being denied the right to vote.
If you are registered to vote I say walk into the polling site with your own two feet–or wheel yourself in if you use a wheelchair–and go vote.
Send in an absentee ballot before the deadline if you cannot show up in person.
One year I walked around the corner to the polling site and voted at 6:15 a.m.
If you haven’t been denied the right to vote–Just Do It–go out and vote.
Alicia Keys in her memoir recounts having a friend ask her at a table in a pizzeria: “Why are you here?”
That sparked her activism.
And you, why are you here?
I used to visit fortune tellers. I sat down in a chair across from one woman. I hadn’t said one word. I hadn’t opened my mouth.
Out of nowhere the psychic’s first words were: “You’re here to make a difference.”
I’ve stopped going to fortune tellers.
The question “Why are you here” is relevant for everyone today.
Studying numerology can help a person figure out why you’re here. Christine DeLorey wrote the book seen above. I have underlined sentences in each section.
I once tried to talk about numerology to another person. She got spooked. Only I recommend the book Life Cycles.
Christine DeLorey can create a Personal Numerology Profile PDF document for you for $95 dollars.
Some of you might think that’s going a little too far.
However I think that whatever can give a person comfort in the time of the pandemic shouldn’t be ruled out.
I also recommend reading Susan Miller’s AstrologyZone on the internet every month.
What I don’t advise is going to fortune tellers as a hobby. Though I had the good fortune to have real psychics give me accurate readings not all of them are reputable. And what they tell you can freak you out.
The New York Times reported on a woman who gave people fake predictions to string them along for thousands of dollars. When asked to predict when she’d be sprung free from jail for her crimes she couldn’t give anyone that date.
You can browse the Creative Numerology website for an introduction to the Christine DeLorey book.
The goal is self-improvement and self-actualization.
The goal isn’t to have someone tell you when you’re going to die. Or that for $40 she can remove a bad curse hanging over your head.
Living through the COVID-19 outbreak with the changed circumstances of our lives–the mask wearing and the social distancing–have you like I have wanted to exert control over the things you have control over?
When life is uncertain and it feels like things are out of control:
I say doing things that give you comfort shouldn’t be ruled out.
Drugs or drink–no not that. Anything else–why not?
Whatever makes a person happy shouldn’t be judged.
And in this time of illness–physical and political–now more than ever having joy is called for.
Who couldn’t use a little more freedom and happiness in their lives?
35 was the year that I could see things changing in my body and in my life.
Twenty years later I’m 55 and the difference is obvious again too.
This is the year I’m aware that I’m getting older. The fact that my life is getting shorter has impacted what I think.
The point is: “Do I want to continue to harbor the same insecurities hang-ups and guilt trips?”
If you ask me 55 is the year to get real with yourself. You could live another 20 years.
Far better to start now to change the things that you feel are holding you back.
For instance: women viewing ourselves with a self-critical eye that harshly assesses every perceived flaw we think we have.
Should you not be a woman who ever questions herself this way I’d like to talk to you to uncover your secret for always-on confidence.
I have started to talk to a therapist. My goal is still to meet a man and have a boyfriend. I will explore this angle starting in January in the new year.
In here I would like to post the famous Marianne Williamson quote.
Williamson gets it right:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Self-esteem is a high beam. When you feel good you can do good for yourself and others.
You should buy the book to read and read again. There are gems of sentences that light up the narrative.
“More Myself” could describe my own journey towards Chris.
Keys on page 41 tells it like it is: “And often, the only way forward is through an exit door.”
This sums up leaving behind the person you used to be and the life you thought you should have.
After living indoors for over 5 months because of the pandemic I have come to see that going back to the way my life used to be isn’t an option.
The trademark I’ve claimed is the term “Left of the Dial.”
The bold act of cutting off my hair was the defining rebel yell:
“Here I am. I exist. Get over it.”
The freedom to be myself and the freedom to be yourself should not be watered down or sold to the highest bidder that wants to make us over into an acceptable version.
My Avant-garde haircut is uncommon. I won’t see myself walking down the street everywhere I go.
In her memoir the cover photo is the only photo of Alicia Keys. In her freestyle curly hair.
She calls her type of fashion “‘hood hippie”–a little boho; a little soul.
I take inspiration from reading More Myself. I dare say this is an odyssey that a lot of women go on in our lives.
Keys traveled to Egypt and Italy [she’s part Italian] after having a meltdown–a kind of existential crisis.
In her book she talks about her own #NoMakeup campaign that resonated with women everywhere.
Go on–buy More Myself and get ready to go on your own journey.
This is the best selfie I’ve ever taken. Which is a miracle as whenever I’ve taken selfies before I always look like a deer in headlights.
The genius who thought taking selfies was a good idea–what were they thinking?
The shampoo girl–an older woman–checked my temperature upon arrival.
The mask I wore was too big. The loops had to be criss-crossed to be snug around my ears.
So the hairdresser could cut around the ears I had to unloop the mask and hold it against my face.
Might it not be advisable to get a new haircut during the COVID-19 outbreak?
I showed the stylist a photo of the haircut I wanted to get.
The haircut will grow in longer which will be good.
I have given up on keeping my hair curly. It had gotten frizzy all this summer. Owing to wearing a face covering I wasn’t motivated to do anything to style my hair. Until now.
This is not a long sultry tresses goddess haircut.
It’s a haircut that makes a statement.
The statement is: “I’m a fan of the Cure and it’s 1987.”
Screw it–I decided–get a new style even though it might repel a man.
Magazine articles talk about how the use of filters on selfies has altered how women view themselves.
Seeking perfection is a myth because it implies there can be no growth. Achieving a perfect state there would be no higher you could go.
I’m doing things differently today to dismantle perfectionism.
The idea of not using a filter to change the appearance of my face and body appeals to me.
It’s a radical risk to go outside with your hair undone or your face without makeup. Mostly because women are held to and buy into a higher standard of what’s right.
The part of me that resists want to disrupt the traditional notion of what’s acceptable beauty.
At 55 years old I no longer cover applying a full face of makeup. Those Sephora makeovers were gorgeous yet impossible to maintain day in and day out.
As well getting dolled up that way in my OKCupid photos did nothing to entrance men to send me messages.
It is in the imperfect where everyone shines as human beings who are our authentic selves.
Now I’m owed a free Sephora makeover. This time I will get one with a twist: to tell the makeup artist to use only 5 products. To design a look I can recreate on my own.
Today I think it’s time to celebrate differentness.
Glossy and stylized images aren’t real.
After the pandemic is over I intend to experiment with makeup in a subtle way.
Bravery is called for no matter how old a woman is.
The daring to look in the mirror and shout:
“I see you. I celebrate you.”
Real beauty is what’s on the inside. Expressing the inner outwardly is the goal. This is when a person is most beautiful:
Not being afraid to express themselves.
In the coming blog entry I talk about my experience getting a haircut during the pandemic. The photo of my haircut is unretouched. Without using a filter. In it I used only foundation blush mascara and lipstick.
You could call this approach a makeunder instead of a makeover.
There’s a thin line between art and artifice.
It’s time to get real. Some of us are getting depressed seeing photo-perfect images on Instagram.
My hope is to empower blog readers to do your own thing not what society tells you to do.
Left of the Dial 